Monday, May 31, 2010

Happy Memorial Day

Today is a very special day of honor for those who have given their lives, for those who are currently serving, and for those who have paid the Ultimate Sacrifice. No matter what political party you identify with or belong to, we can all agree, this is an amazing act of courage to say you are willing to lay your life down for others. To anyone who is serving, has served, has loved ones serving, or loved ones who have served, and loved ones who laid their lives down for us which meant you and your family gave the ultimate sacrifice of a lost love one, I just want to say from the depths of my heart and soul, Thank You for your great Sacrifice & Gift of Love.

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

My Matrix Moment . . .

Click on the link below, to experience or re-experience this great Movie Moment.

The initials for My Matrix Moment are MMM flip it over WWW -- which stands for the World Wide Web where the Combination Effect of my enlightenment & understanding of Narcissism comes from thanks to all those who have directly or indirectly blessed my life by sharing their personal stories & knowledge of Narcissism.

I love the line, "All I am offering you is the Truth" -- which I might add is a Truth Too Painful to Ignore!

Sorry all, still working on that portion control!
Just thought it is important to give a little bit of background about the characters in this movie for those who have not seen it. Bare with me.

Morpheus is the name of the Greek god of dreams, which is very relevant because Morpheus is waking Neo from the Dream World. A world that does not really exist -- not the way he knows it.

Neo is a prefix signaling a "new" form or a revival of an old one. Neo is also the anagram of one and represents the individual. Morpheus is from the word root word morph which means goes beyond change into transformation into a new self. The character Neo's real name is Thomas Anderson. In the New Testament of the Holy Handbook, Thomas was the disciple who doubted that Jesus had been risen as prophesy stated and Jesus told the disciples. Anderson means "Son of Man" Therefore Neo is transformed from being the "doubting disciple" Thomas to the "NewSon of Man"= Neo Anderson. Neo does represent Christ in this movie as the Savior of humanity.

Neo is offered the choice to remain in his everyday life or to learn what the Matrix is. Accepting, he takes a drug (commonly called the "Red Pill") designed to disrupt his body's neural connection to the Matrix, and wakes up disoriented and alarmed to find himself weak, hairless, and naked in a pod of red liquid, in which he is connected to many wires.
Neo is rescued and his body is healed of the effects of his atrophy suffered in the power plant. Once Neo regains consciousness and is able to walk around, Morpheus tells Neo the truth about the Matrix: that it is a simulated world humans are connected to, and that humanity is used as a power source for the machines. He also tells Neo about The One, a human with the power to manipulate The Matrix, who was foretold to end the war between humans and machines and how he believes that Neo is The One. The next day, Neo begins his "training", becoming knowledgeable in many forms of combat and ship operations by having various training programs uploaded directly into his brain. He also receives further instruction from Morpheus on subjects such as "freeing his mind" from the restrictions of the Matrix and the existence of its Agents.

Finding out that your loved one is a toxic Narcissist is
very painful. It is what I refer to as My Matrix Moment, the original Matrix Movie where Neo first discovers the painful truth of what reality is really like and not what he always thought is was all his life. He is at a tremendous Cross Roads and the character Morpheus offers him the greatest choice of his life. Either return to life as you once knew it, or accept the truth for what it painfully is and make a necessary change in your own life. The choice to Dwell or Rebel in the Kingdom of Narcissism.

Last year, I jumped head first into that infamous Rabbit Hole trusting Christ would catch me and not let the truth destroy me. Thanks to God, the scales of denial dropped from my eyes and I was able to see & accept the Counterfeit Mother for the evil N who finds pleasure in others pain. This truth was too painful to ignore, I reached The Point of No Return, there was no turning back
now, no going back now, there was no blue pill to take -- and I wouldn't want to even if there was one! I can not numb myself to the painful raw reality. I have seen what denying the truth (taking the Proverbial Blue Pill) does to the enablers, it makes them numb & dumb and that is a horrible alternative to facing, accepting, and applying reality to one's life.

After going NC last year I continued the next stage in the Journey to Healing and nothing would get in the way of that . . . except a Sequel! Like the movie Matrix, in the NFOO it is
only the beginning when you discover your parent/s are Ns. I had no idea until recently just how far the Rabbit Hole went. Recently in my own Matrix Sequel I discovered my Sibs are Ns too. One is a Selfish Sibling a low or small level N, the other is a Medium level, and the parents of course are the Super-sized Ns.

Unlike Neo, once discovering the truth about the N, it is impossible to ignore what we now know. We can not go back to how it use to be when there was only a strong
suspicion of something being wrong. Now we know what, or better yet who is wrong. And the more we learn about Nism the more we discover just how wrong the toxic Counterfeit Person is for us.

Once we accept that the toxic Counterfeit truly is a harmful N we want to know, Is there any hope for the N to change for the better?

According to DSM III, Ns are considered emotionally/relationship retarded, and as everyone I have ever met in real life and on the internet support groups Ns do not get better with time, in fact most get
worse, until they are too old to cause chaos, dysfunction, and destruction. Even those lonely old Ns in the retirement homes make the lives of those who are paid to take care of them miserable. Their paid care takers avoid having to deal with them, switch shifts, and when that does not work they resign and find another job. They come to the same conclusion we do -- it's just not worth it anymore. You can not pay me enough to put up with this toxic cr*p.

Since I have already jumped through the Rabbit Hole of Truth once or twice before in regards to both of the Nparents, I already knew where
this truth would lead. It is a year for Sequels for Alice and me. I have been here before and I know the end results. The characters in the Kingdom of Narcissism will not change, they see no need, therefore, have no desire, and according to the professionals in Psychology & Religion (eg. reprobates) they are actually unable to change. They can not change, so I must. I must leave my baggage as well as the inhabitants from the NFOO, Kingdom of Narcissism, behind and stay with my Family of Creation & Choice, my Land of Love (LOL). If a Miracle does happen, the Enablers cry tears of true remorse (as seen in the Merlin videos)
and truly transform, then they know where to find me. Until then, God bless. Seriously, I hope & pray God can help them.

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Exposing the Narcissist (humorous & helpful videos)

Originally I titled this post/article, The Narcissistic Parent, because when I watched this episode that is who I saw from my personal viewpoint. However, after talking to Crystal I realized that the N could represent ones, Boyfriend or Girlfriend, Spouse, Sibling, any other Family Member, Friend, Neighbor, Co-Worker, Supervisor, etc.

When viewing these videos ask yourself,
Do you see
anyone familiar?
What roles do your
Significant Others play?
What role/s do
you play?

When you are born into, marry into, or come across the Kingdom of Narcissism (the KoN), the Nparents/NSpouse/NFriend, [the N King and/or Queen] cast an Evil Enchantment Spell of Deception Denial & Delusion over all the people living in their wicked & toxic kingdom. The Counterfeit King &/or Queen create an insidious & Deceptive Illusion to support their False Identity and hide their true evil nature. Although they may appear honest, beautiful, regal & royal, they are really disgusting and treacherous Trolls with an Evil Agenda to Use & Abuse those who live in their Kingdom of Narcissism (KoN). When the stench of what the Troll Parents/Spouse/Friend thrive on becomes to disgusting to those living in the KoN, the evil spell is broken. Until then, the Enablers feed on the cr*p the Ns dish out. Perhaps some will refuse to swallow the cr*p anymore, maybe they will go for smaller portions, or just take a nibble here and there, some will refuse to dish it out themselves to others, while others will do the Troll King or Queen's dirty work. However, the Enablers will turn away when the Troll enjoys rolling around, bathing, and even eating their on cr*p and especially when the Troll is dishing it out to others. The Troll actually enjoys rolling around and eating horse dung.
No wonder we are so sick of their sh*t!

This is only how the N looks when the Cloaking & Enchantment Spells have been completely broken. Until then they appear quite handsome & beautiful, kind & generous, etc. but that is a Counterfeit Identity.

In this episode, Beauty & the Beast, Merlin is the first one to discover that the Counterfeit Queen has a Hidden Counterfeit Identity. The Counterfeit Queen manipulates her Spouse and their child to turn on Merlin. Divide and Conquer.

Since my Sibs and I were born into the Kingdom of Narcissism we are automatically cast into the roles of Arthur, once the N has been exposed we can either come to our senses like Arthur eventually did, or we can change our role over time and play the role of Enabling Enchanted King who denies the Truth that everyone else can clearly see. In my own life, I played the role of Aruthur, and to some degree the Enabling Enchanted King or in my case the Enabling Enchanted Princess. Most recently I have taken on the role of Merlin who is trying so desperately to break the Evil Troll's Enchantment Spell over the Enablers. It has worked w/some of the Enablers in the Kingdom, but unfortunately, true to this story those who are closest to the Troll still remain Enchanted.

In the Merlin episode, Beauty and the Beast, the King Uther is under the Counterfeit Queen's Evil Enchantment Spell. Although her True Identity becomes clear to Merlin who was the Trail Blazer and hero who w/the help of his Wise Teacher destroyed the Counterfeit Queen's Cloaking Spell to reveal her Real Identity to all in the Kingdom of Narcissism (KoN). However, like in real life, those closest to the evil Trolls appear to have a stronger Enchantment Spell on them. The Enabling King is still under the Counterfeit Queen's Evil Spell and can not accept her True Identity of a wicked, deceptive, disgusting Troll. The Counterfeit Queen uses her Enchantment Spell over the King and tells him to go after Merlin and even gets him to turn on his own son Arthur and take away his birth right to the thrown. The King's own long-time trusted advisors & infamous Noble Knights of the Round Table can not convince the King that he has married an evil Troll and the King threatens them that who ever speaks against the Counterfeit Queen will be killed for treason.

What this story of Narcissism does not demonstrate is the Transformation Spell. I truly believe that Enablers who remain loyal to the N despite what they have witnessed w/their own eyes, must have something w/in them that can identify and relate to the N -- perhaps it is a recessive N gene that once laid dormant and over time becomes activated and the Transformation begins and the Enablers become treacherous Trolls themselves hurting those who refuse to accept the Counterfeit's true identity of an evil Troll. Perhaps the Enablers (Sibs/other Parent, etc) are a lower level N compared to the Controlling, Ruling, or Royal N King or Queen (Parent/Spouse/Friend etc), but they are still a N none the less. In the Kingdom of Narcissism that I was orginally from we have Low or Small Level Ns, Medium Ns, and the Great Super-sized Nparents who are actually what is commonly referred to as NPs (narcissistic psychopaths). This has become painfully clear to me in my NFOO, so much so that I have nearly given up all hope for my Nsibs. Their lack of remorse for hurting my Family of Creation is down right disgusting and reveals their true identity of N/Troll. Their love for me is nothing less than Counterfeit and a Deceptive Illusion which has recently been broken and the enchantment w/them is finally over and becomes more solidified w/each passing day.

Identifying a N is not about comparing one N to another and making the mistake that my "Loved One" is not a N because s/he is "not nearly as bad". Not nearly as bad is still not good, not healthy, and very Toxic & Harmful. Nism is not about the extent of harm done, but rather any presences of harm. There are 3 different types of Abuse, which make up 3 Distinct Regions of the KoN and they are Covert, Overt, and Ambient Abuse. There is a lot of cross over between the 3 different Regions. When you are deep in the KoN you don't realize that you have spent time in the Land of Overt Abuse it wasn't that obvious until after you escape & leave the KoN. More about the Different Regions of the KoN in a future article!

Look what happens to those who dare to hold up the Mirror of Truth to expose the Counterfeit's true Identity. The Enablers are so under the spell of delusion & denial that they deny what they are seeing with their very own eyes, hearing with their own ears, and smelling with their own noses. They deny their own senses and they deny the truth even from those closest to them (their own Children, Spouse, Sibling, Best Friend, etc). And what is painfully worse is the Enabling Parent will even abandon & harm their own Children in order to please the evil Troll Parent/Spouse.

Pay close attention to the only way to break the Evil Enchantment.

What was it that they said will take to break the Evil Enchantment?

I highly recommend watching Part 1 & Part 2 of Beauty & the Beast to get a full appreciation as well as a lot of laughs. The Symbolism & Analogies to what it is like to have a Nparent/Spouse is absolutely fantastic to say the very least. In real life this is no comedy, it is a nightmare for those who have and are continuing to live it. And it is a
huge tragedy for those who are still under the very powerful & wicked Enchantment Spell of Delusion & Denial. Until those Tears of True Remorse come from the Enablers, we are not helpless like Merlin, we have a Higher and Greater Source to turn to for Intervention. We have within each of us the power of Intervening Prayer. We do not need to be complete experts in the Holy Handbook, but the more we learn and know the better equipped we are for the Battle.

When you are the first one to leave the Kingdom of Narcissism you are the Trail Blazer to Truth and Freedom. By you leaving and never returning, you create a clear and safe path for those to follow when the stench of the wicked Troll King and/or Queen becomes too much for the Enablers to bare. Until the Evil Enchantment Spell is broken over each Enabler one at a time, then you must stay in the Land of Love and not return to the Kingdom of Narcissism. I recommend complete No Contact (NC) for at least a year, so that you can escape the N-trapment of the FOG (Fear Obligation Guilt) and most importantly heal from the KoN. If a year sounds extreme, begin with 3 months, see if your life is better not being connected to the KoN, then extend it for 3 more months. If you can not escape the KoN all at once, start detaching emotionally & physically by less and less contact. Start building what many refer to as a Hallmark Relationship which is bascially making short contact for Birthdays & Holidays in which you would send a Hallmark Card. One very common trait of Ns is that they isolate their Victims from Family & Friends, so create a Support Team (even if it is a Team of One) that you can trust that will encourage & support you leaving the KoN.

If you return to the Kingdom of Narcissism before the wicked spell is completely broken from each individual then you risk your own safety and can be re-enchanted once again by the evil Trolls when you loose sight of who they are, get caught up in what you want them to be and believe they are only a pitiful Counterfeit instead of an evil Troll who finds pleasure in others pain.

I never understood why the Enabling Sibs thought the Momster was "not that bad", until I realized that they are lower level Ns and to them Narcissism is not that bad, until they are personally attacked, and even then they eventually make excuses for the Momster, because to accept reality that the Momster actually controls & enjoys the attacks is too painful to accept (or that could be my own Projection, because that was true for me). Another reason why the Nsibs don't perceive the attacks from the Momster as "being that bad" is because they identify with Momster, they justify her abuse because they are abusive themselves, or they have the potential to be, so their Ego Defenses say that abuse is not bad.

Is being re-enchanted, contaminating the Family of Creation in the Kingdom of Love worth going back for the Enablers who enjoy loving a Troll and rolling around in filth?

For me it is not. I love, value, and respect my Beautiful Child, my Handsome Husband, and now my Healthy Self, so I can not let this unpreventable consequence to happen to us. We must remain safe in the Kingdom of Love. A clear & safe path has been made for anyone who wants to leave the Kingdom of Narcissism and they know where they can find help when they have left their baggage behind them and are ready to venture out on their own. It must be their desire and their choice to leave. The ugly and very painful truth that was there to set us free is there to set them free too, if they choose to accept it.

Returning to the Kingdom of Narcissism could be the death of you. The person you became or the person you discovered you were created to be once the Enchantment Spell has lost its power over you. Are you really willing to risk your life and the lives of the ones you love in the Kingdom of Love? I am not. That is too high of a price to pay.

When you leave the Kingdom of Narcissism, you can begin your Healing Journey that begins with Self-Discovery. Discovering your Self-Worth, Self-Esteem, Self-Care, and Self-Identity that is Independent of the toxic Counterfeit that keeps you all enmeshed & wrapped up in his/her KoN. You will discover talents and passions you
never knew even existed when all your attention and energy was used by focusing on the chaos that the Nparent/s or Spouses create.

Can your Healing Journey begin while you still live in the Kingdom of Narcissism?

Stay tuned in to find out!

Let me know what you think about these videos?
Isn't it great how accurately the writers depict the Kingdom of Narcissism?

If you have a Spouse or a Friend that was
not born into or married into the Kingdom of Narcissism, and has absolutely no idea what it is like for you, then give them this post and have them watch the videos. I bet you will have a great conversation afterwards.

If you were not born into the Land or Kingdom of Narcissism, then click on the below link and find out more what it was like for your loved one,

Friday, May 14, 2010

Defying Gravity

If you, like me, were born into the Land of Narcissism, or married into the Land of Narcissism, or stopped by to date, be friends with, or be employed by a toxic person then you know first hand how these Counterfeit people can suck in a very narcissistic way.

People have trouble admitting that demons walk this earth, let alone the demon being somebody's Family Member, Friend, Sibling, Spouse, or Parent who is suppose to love & protect, but they do exist and we have lived it haven't we? We have lived this nightmare that others have only seen in the movies or on tv. Well, last year I was ready for a role change, and since you are taking the time to read this blog you are ready for a role change too, or at least considering it, if you haven't done it already it if I am correct?

As a child surviving in the Land of Narcissism I know what it is like to look for a hero to save you from this horrible nightmare and none was to be found. There was nothing but enablers who chose to look the other way. I discovered that I must be my own hero and rescue my self (self-esteem, self-worth, etc). I had to learn that self-care & self-love is
not selfish & self-absorbed like the NVamps from our Family Of Origin (FOO). I know what it feels like to put your trust in others and have them drop you out of the sky, devalue & discard you (D&D) when you are no longer any use to them.

I have recently been D&D, by two siblings (one who I thought I could trust especially in a time of emergency). In my time of great need the carpet was pulled away right from under my feet. I was abandoned and treated like an inconvenience instead of a Sister in need of support during two very scary times in my life. In the past I had always been there for her when she asked me, no matter how big or how small the event, it didn't matter, she needed me and I was there. And now that I asked her to be with me she was just too busy and did not want to change her plans and miss out on an event that she was so looking forward to attending that day. The only time I ever asked her to do something for me in my entire life and she couldn't even help out her Sister who has always been there for her.

When I realized that my Sibling did not want to be there for me, this broke my heart. Instead of falling into a pit of depression this time, like I did when I accepted that NVampM doesn't love me, I defied gravity. Sure I was hurt by her cold-hearted abandonment, but I was not going to over-value or over-estimate her role in my life and give her the power to crush me. Realizing that your egg donor and Counterfeit Sisters will not return the loyalty and love you have shown them throughout the years is too painful to ignore -- that painful truth was hard to survive -- but I did! Their inability or unwillingness to return love is their problem not mine.

The following songs are dedicated to those Counterfeits who choose to hurt instead of love.

I am, like the famous song says, going to try Defying Gravity this time. If you haven't heard it, here's it is. Music helps to sooth the soul,

These words really spoke to me & maybe you can relate

Something has changed within me, Something is not the same.
When you realize that you deserve to be loved, appreciated, and valued, that the Counterfeits, the toxic N's can or will not change, but you, you can change, you can discover your true self, and not the one that you have been sacrificing to the NVamps to fulfill their selfish & wicked agendas.

I'm through with playing by the rules of someone else's game.
Toxic Narcissistic Counterfeits lack a heart & a conscious. They never take responsibility for anything and you can never make them happy because they lack a soul. Their rules constantly change and make no sense. It is a game of Supply & Demand. They demand that you supply them w/your self-worth, and they thrive off of your hurt & pain.

Too late for second guessing, too late to go back to sleep.
Once you have discovered this toxic person is a Counterfeit and their mask of deception has fallen and their true nature of a Narcissistic Vampire has been exposed, there is no going back into denial, back to sleep, the fog has lifted.

It's time to trust my instincts, close my eyes and leap.
These Narcissistic Vampires are devious, dangerous, life-sucking ticks. You must trust your instinct to leave them behind, and imagine a life that is filled with love & respect. Maybe you don't know where this Land of Love is, and you don't know how to find it, but you will never know how great it feels unless you leave to find it .

It's time to try defying gravity, and you wont bring me down.
This is most likely not the first time the toxic Counterfeit in your life has devalued & discarded you and hurt you w/no remorse. The first time hurt so very bad it opened your eyes to the truth, and the pain was so much that it caused you to be depressed, but this time, this time is going to be different. This time they wont bring us down. No more tears will I waste over them. This time I will not end up in depression. This time I found my freedom to soar!

Kiss me good bye, I'm defying gravity and you wont bring me down.
No they wont bring us down, we are defying gravity. We are soaring.

I'm through excepting limits because someone says there so
This toxic person will always be this way, that's just who they are, so you have to accept that, and be doomed to a life of misery w/this person. Forgive & Forget, put up & shut up, keep the peace at any cost is not for me.
God hates divorce, God says you must Honor your parents, but God says He hates abuse more. God says to rebuke, turn away, and leave evil. God says to separate.

Some things I can not change, but until I try I'll never know
Toxic Counterfeits wont change, but we can change ourselves. We can change our situation and leave. Staying hasn't changed anything, but leaving definitely will -- it wont change them, but it will transform us.

Too long I've been afraid of losing love I guess I lost
Well if that is love it comes at much to high a cost.

These last two lines sums it up. Being afraid of losing a love that we
never really had, and if that is love it comes at much to high a cost.

Toxic Counterfeit People are dream killers and soul stealers.

If you were born in the Land of Narcissism, married into the Land of Narcissism, or accidently came by for a visit and have been used & abused you are not alone. There are others who can relate @ We are not alone. Let me say, that although we were born in the Land of Narcissism we really came from Heaven, so we are
really His kids and not the NvampParents. Such an angel!

As you all know I am NC w/ both of the Nparents and one NSibling (not originally my choice because she D&D us recently). At this point in my life I am so done w/dealing w/N's. They have stolen so much from me that I don't want them to steal a minute more of my happiness. I just don't have the mental nor physical energy to run around making sure that everyone is protected from the N attacks by creating boundaries that they are just going to blast right through anyway. I just don't want to waste my time doing this anymore and having regrets that I didn't listen to my intuition/instinct screaming at me, "
Don't Do it, You know you are going to live to regret it!" I would rather never see the N's again, then to let them back into my life so that they can once again demonstrate/prove that they still don't love me and break my heart. I don't want to revisit that nightmare.

As long as you see these Counterfeits possessing something you need or want they will
always have the ammo to destroy you, because you are sticking your neck out so they can jab their wicked fangs into you to suck the NS from you by watching you hurt. However, you can stop playing their game and see where life takes you.

Give yourself a Time Out of the Land of Narcissism and discover who
you are and what you want out of life.

Think of it this way, you are beginning a New Adventure of self-discovery and along the way you are going to meet people who are going to value you for who you are & have your best interest at heart. Once you have put some distance between you and the Land of Narcissism, and take a long extended holiday/vacation from the life you once knew, when you are
fully rested, healed, and empowered, you can look back from a new advantage point way up on the Mountain Top and ask yourself -- do I want to go back? Or should I stay on the Mountain Top and encourage people (others being used & abused by the N) to leave the Land of Narcissism. Right now I am climbing that mountain. It hasn't been an easy climb, but it is so rewarding and I can finally think clearly and see circumstances & people clearly now that I am not taking in the toxic fumes from those in the Land of Narcissism. You can be no good to others, until you are good to yourself. Please take care of yourself.

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Happy Mother's Day. .

For all those Mom's celebrating Mother's Day weekend, live it up, you deserve it!

And for all those Moms who choose to
stop the legacy of abuse and love instead of hurt your beautiful children, God bless you & your triumph over evil.

One time when we were in Hallmark helping pick out a Birthday or Father's Day card w/my D for her Daddy/my H, my D and I were at the check out, and NVampM comes running (literally
running, haven't seen her move that fast in decades!) with a card in hand held up high waving in the air declaring, "I've found it, I've found it!" What did you find mom? I found the perfect b-day card that you need send to me, (this was April or May and her b-day isn't until Sept!). I didn't purchase the card as she was strongly insisting that I do at the time, so she said "Promise me that you will buy this for my b-day and send it to me." You should have seen the look on the lady's face behind the counter, the lady asked me, What if you don't get the card for her? I told her that there would be hell to pay and that I would never live it down. The lady just shook her head (the card was one of those, This is what happened the year You were born cards, and she was turning 65, a milestone). A very special Moment that my D & I were sharing together by selecting out her card for her Daddy was tainted and ruined due to NVampM needed fix for NS and make all things about her.

I went NC in Aug due to a Proverbial Last Straw where NVampM did & said some real horrible things. Even then, after NC, I thought should I send the stupid Hallmark Card? I decided not to for two reasons. (1) It would be a fake act on my part because I didn't want anything to do w/her anymore, via the Official NC letter. (2) She immediately began a smear campaign confirming it is always about her & never how she hurts others. The thing is, before NC I was the dutiful D and would comply to her wishes thinking that would make her happy -- NS denied! Too bad NVampM!
Thank God I don't have to stress out anymore looking for the most bland, non-sentimental, generic Hallmark Card in the store. Too bad they don't make Cards that say,
(outside of card) To my Narcissistic Mother. . . (inside) You Suck! Happy Mother's Day. or
(outside of card) a beautiful tender loving scene of a Mother & Daughter embrace
(inside) Too bad this was never us. Happy Mother's Day
Whether or not you are in low contact or no contact w/the NVampMother what is the special card that you wished Hallmark made and that you could send?

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Narcissist in Sheep's Clothing

* I am updating this Post because due to recent changes at the WoN Forum. I once Highly recommended this Forum, but with great sadness I now have to add it to the Unsafe Forum List. For details on why the WoN Forum is NOT a Safe Place to Share, Click Here.

Is it "as bad" as the Forum Listed below? Some say yes, some say no, so you need to judge for yourself and make your own decision. "Not as bad" is still No Good.

(Below is about the DONM On-Line Support Group Forum)

This is a continuation from the Unsafe Forum -- Buyer Beware article, Click Here. It is about a devious covert Narcissist who has a Counterfeit persona, yet under the mask there lies a person with a hidden agenda to hurt instead of help. This person use to charge $10.00 for (7) little "healing" words that were suppose to magically heal somebody's deepest wounds that she suffered from an abusive "Mother". From what I understand this ad has been removed from her website where she also promotes her magical healing technique. I guess this was undeniable clear evidence of her god-like mentality, a narcissistic trait, to more people than just me.

Some of the info. below is from the previous post, Buyer Beware-Unsafe Forum, and below that is new info.

Posted by: Danu Author Profile Page | February 17, 2010 10:03 AM

I run a website and forum for daughters of narcissistic mothers, and have long believed that the Christian Churches fall into the category of narcissism. The traits of grandiosity, beliefs of great success, entitlement, lack of empathy, requiring excessive admiration, interpersonally exploitative and arrogance certainly apply.

The model of "I'm perfect, you're scum" is the message narcissists give every day, and that Christianity teaches at its very core.

And another element which anybody who has encountered narcissists will know: they accept responsibility for NOTHING. It's ALWAYS somebody else's fault. Always. Without exception. They won't admit to the action if possible, but if they are forced to they will jump through the most amazing hoops to blame others.

And here I see exactly this happening.

To blame hippies' free love (which never as a policy included children) and the media (wtf?) for their shortcomings is very, very narcissistic.

Hate speech is dangerous & against the law in my Country -- to bad there is no way of putting an end to it on the internet.

Did you see the hate speech in Danu's, the Narcissist in Sheep's Clothing/Hate Monger's statements?
"{I} have long believed that the Christian Churches fall into the category of narcissism."
Remove the words Christian Churches and replace it with your own gender (Women/Men), sexual-orientation, ethnic, culture, religious, non-religious, socioeconomic, profession, or sports group, etc.
"{I} have long believed that Women fall into the category of narcissism."
-- Now do you see the hate?

The model of "I'm perfect, you're scum" is the message narcissists give every day, and that Christianity teaches at its very core.
Let's take the word Christianity and replace it with your own gender (Women/Men), sexual-orientation, ethnic, culture, religious, non-religious, socioeconomic, profession, or sports group
"I'm perfect, you're scum" is the message narcissists give every day, and that Hetero/Homosexuality teaches at its very core.
-- Now do you see the hate?

Again this is not about the vast different viewpoints Danu & I have. It is about how she is a Counterfeit who promotes herself as a "safe" person to seek help from while she has a hidden agenda to hate & hurt a certain group of people.

I must confess, I use to think that all Narcissists/Abusers give off Warning Signs that we were unwilling or unable to pick up on at the time. Looking back on a dysfunctional/abusive relationship hindsight is 20-20 as the saying goes. Sure looking back there were often statements/behaviors that showed us the true nature of the Narcissist/Abuser and we refused to for whatever reason acknowledge - - - However, in some toxic, dysfunctional, and abusive relationships Sometimes there are no warning signs! .

I know that for some people this is hard to believe & accept. I must admit that when I heard a person say that "there just weren't any warning signs", I use to think to myself, sure there were, there are always warning signs, they may have been very subtle and she/we just missed them, that's all. I remember an elder wise woman gave me some great advise when I was single, she said, "When you date a Man he puts his best foot forward, and after you get married his bad foot comes along."

These Narcissists/Abusers/Counterfeits are great deceivers and often wait until you are fully invested and they have your utmost trust & loyalty, until they drop the mask to you. When you do not accept their true identity & hold a mirror up to them you are deemed worthless because they can no longer get NS from you. They deny the truth, Gaslight you to shift the focus & responsibility off of them and if they are very skilled they will even have you doubt yourself & what you experienced with your own eyes. They will discredit you to others (the Narcissist is Sheep's Clothing will use Projection and even call you the Narcissist). When you are of no use to them they Devalue & Discard. You will stand alone against the Narcissist in Sheep's Clothing, until they attack another and another and get so prideful & confident in their deceptive illusion that they finally drop their mask and are revealed for the Counterfeit/NVamp they really are, as shown in the above example. The truth will eventually come out.

The NVampM had such hatred for all things Man and grouped them altogether as worthless, but then again her children, in her mind, were worthless too. Sexism (all the isms), bigotry, prejudices, all the things the Greatest Counterfeit of All uses to destroy humans I have an automatic rejection too. It use to be but now it is more

Anything or anyone who fuels the flames of hatred towards others is dangerous and doing the devils job. Part of me feels so very sorry for these people because they choose to fill their minds & hearts w/hate. I will never understand that when love is such the obvious choice to make. Love brings life and hate brings death and as the Holy Handbook says, there is life and death before you, in case you are confused -- choose life, choose love!
Where there is love there is no hate, and where there is hate there is no love. Love is such a beautiful duality. It is both free to give & receive and it's value is priceless.

If I could spread one message it would be just because someone gives him/herself a title doesn't automatically make it so. Just because someone says they are a Christian doesn't make it so, just like I could go to the White House and call myself the president, but it doesn't make it so. Actions do speak louder than words. Personally speaking there is a difference between a Believer, acknowledging God exists (because even the devil admits God exists), reading the Bible, and attending church services, and a person who puts these teachings into action and follows Christ, hence the name Christians, Christ followers. Sure we are all going to make mistakes and let the ego get the best of us. When we fall, we don't hide it, we admit to it, pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and if necessary seek help to avoid falling again. It is true, all N's are hypocrites, but not all hypocrites are card carrying full blown N's. Like you said, who has the desire to stick around long enough to find out? Thanks to you & WoN I have come to understand that the habitual lying, Gaslighting, and D&D is clear evidence that a person is not only a hypocrite & a liar, but a card carrying deceptive N.

I must confess to ignorance about what constitutes hate speech and what doesn't.

I share your confession! Such an angel! I am not a person who remembers names, dates, or can even quote scriptures, but I do remember the message. Such as with Brown vs. Board of Education, can not remember the date so I wouldn't make a great lawyer, but I remember the message that separation is not equal. That message has made a huge influence on me. As long as there is separation there will never be equality.

I too was not sure of the exact definition, so I thought I could be way off my mark. Anytime I have a disagreement I like to do a little quick homework and pull up the source/definition (and of course you always have to consider the source) so we both could take a look at it with one another. As we discovered together, we agree much more than we disagree.

I guess I don't have to tell anyone that I am a direct person and I have zero tolerance for those who "practice to deceive". I to have had discussions with agnostics & atheists and welcome the sharing of very different viewpoints in a respectable manner. In my earlier years I would debate beliefs with anyone who wanted to engage, but as I got older I realized it was a complete waste of valuable time to share ones different and sometimes very opposing viewpoints if there wasn't first and foremost respect for one another. Any kind of ugly name calling is terrible, but for someone who is a "specialist in Narcissism" and makes money off of people, especially Christians & other Believers, to then call an entire group of people the worst name she can come up with is sinister to say the least. The NVampM's favorite thing to so was to say, "you are just like your Father" Father meaning a heartless, selfish abuser who abandoned his family (the abandonment was an actual blessing in disguise, because it would have been way worse had he stuck around) and then she would also say we were "just like her mother who she clearly hated".

I don't mind head to head debates, or even up front assaults to one's beliefs. That is their opinion, which I disagree with, but at least I know exactly where they stand. What I have absolutely no respect for is the passive-aggressive, subtle, covert, sneaky, cunning, deceptive, insidious, underhanded, back-stabbing assaults from cowards that hide how they really feel and won't admit that they have contempt for you and confront you face to face. The image I have in mind is the Evil Queen who goes to great lengths to disguise her true identity and offers Snow White a delicious red apple full of poison. Snow White had no warning signs that she was in danger and took a bite. Yes, Evil Queens do exist in real life.

With the Dark Duality of the Covert Narcissist, especially the ones that hide themselves in sheep's clothing, sometimes like w/ Snow White there are no warning signs and you bite into that shinny red apple full of deceptively hidden arsenic.