Saturday, July 14, 2012

Do They Harm Us On Purpose?

There are theories that suggest that Toxic Pathological People, Narcissists (Ns)/Sociopaths/Psychopaths attack out of 'unconscious defenses'. That they are unaware of what they are doing when they attack, and they can't control or stop themselves from attacking others.

Where is the Empirical Data proving this Theory?

The evidence does not support the theory of 'unconscious defenses' because Ns target certain individuals. If the their defenses were truly unconscious, the attacks would not be Target/Victim Specific. Since Ns can not control themselves, and are not aware of what they are doing, then they would attack everyone and anyone -- but they don't! For example a Superior such as a Supervisor would elicit feelings of inferiority, jealousy, envy, insecurities, etc., and as stated in a previous article What They Covet They Attack, so as theory goes they should attack their Supervisors, but they don't.

When researchers test out their theory in the real world they are guilty of Confirmation Bias, finding evidence to support their theory, or twisting the interpretation of the evidence to support their theory instead of looking at the evidence that does not support and actually contradicts their theory.

Another reason I do not like the theory of 'unconscious defenses' is that it lacks responsibility & accountability and promotes further victimization, "poor pathologicals" can't help themselves, they are unaware of what they are doing. BS! They know exactly what they are doing, because they only attack certain people. EVERY Narcissist from the low level to the Super-Sized N/P attacks because they enjoy the attack (at least in the moment of attack, there is a payoff otherwise they wouldn't attack, it wouldn't be rewarding), lower levels 

will might verbalize regret & remorse, but very few actually mean it because very few actually stop attacking. They might be able to resist attacking a certain target for a certain duration, but the attacks eventually resume.

Theory states that the narcissist is unconsciously battling with him/herself internally to keep all unwanted and unacceptable aspects of the true self dormant and locked away, and when they attack their victim for mirroring back reality of their true self (their flawed self) they are really unconsciously attacking their self which they again unconsciously project on to us.

Since we can not read a N
arcissist's mind theories are based on assumptions about the Narcissist (N). We assume that this is what is going on in their disordered mind when they select a victim. Again I believe we are guilty of Projection, because if we were the Disordered this is what we would be thinking or not thinking. 

In theory when Ns are attacking us (their projected self) they are really attacking themselves. I once accepted that reasoning and use to agree with that, because it made sense in theory. Seemed logical enough. But I don't think that is the complete picture. I believe they attack us, because they know we are less N-chanted w/their True Self, and because They Detest who we are which is a constant reminder of what they are not. If we go w/the theory of the N projecting his/her True Self onto us and that is who s/he is attacking, then we don't have to take their attacks personal. It's not really me that the N is attacking. The evidence does not support that theory, because the Ns attacks are Victim Specific. Rather the Alternative Theory, Reason or Explanation that the attacks are in fact personal and deliberate because They Detest who we are, not what we represent (the Ns projected self) is accurate & valid.

If their defenses are automatically/unconsciously elicited, then again why are their attacks Victim Specific. Why don't they project their lies onto the Golden Child, Friends, or their Boss and attack them? The Golden Children, Friends and the Bosses don't always mirror back to the N his/her ideal self, yet they are not attacked and we are. We Scapegoats/Targets are told that it is because we are a Broken Mirror and do not reflect back to the N their False Self, so the N attacks -- yet the Golden Child and the Boss do the same thing and they are not attacked. I use to think that the Golden Children only or predominately mirrored back to the N his/her Ideal Self/Masked Self/False Self and therefore saved themselves from being a target, but that is not the case. I have seen Golden Children not mirror back the False Self to the N, and in additionally actually be harsh and publicly shame the N, yet the N does not retaliate.

When we don't understand something, can not fully explain something, or do not want to consider an Alternative Reason (the N is evil with the intent to harm) we say that it is Unconscious. In the field of Psychology theories of behavior come from people who deny the concept of true evil. They prefer terms such as Mentally Ill, even psychopaths, instead of the simplified term of evil. However, I have noticed that in Self Help areas the term evil is more and more accepted and used to accurately describe N. I don't know if it has reached the Ivory Towers yet, but at least people are using a term that was once forbidden.

Here is a Blog Post from Cheshire about the N's Private & Public behavior in regards to how they threat others, Click Here.