tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2505388649159173103.post1317260839632279507..comments2023-08-27T05:58:25.187-07:00Comments on Freedom from Toxic People: If I only knew then what I know now. . .Soaring Dove is Letting Gohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16470811256241169554noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2505388649159173103.post-70609234430397859322010-09-08T11:41:37.537-07:002010-09-08T11:41:37.537-07:00Thanks Upsi for the added confirmation that I dodg...Thanks Upsi for the added confirmation that I dodged a bullet. It really was a life changing moment of cutting the toxic umbilical cord. Looking back I see that as my first huge step out of the KoN.Soaring Dove is Letting Gohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16470811256241169554noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2505388649159173103.post-2736361261208834282010-09-04T15:54:34.410-07:002010-09-04T15:54:34.410-07:00PS. Hey Rys, how about renewing those vows either ...PS. Hey Rys, how about renewing those vows either just w/DH at a very romantic location or with some close family & friends where NM is not present to contaminate things?Soaring Dove is Letting Gohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16470811256241169554noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2505388649159173103.post-36025215783081986952010-09-04T15:52:14.452-07:002010-09-04T15:52:14.452-07:00Thank you rys for commenting. When my DH proposed,...Thank you rys for commenting. When my DH proposed, can you believe after all the Momster had done to me, I thought if we ELOPED she would miss seeing her D get married. This was a life changing moment for me because I for once put my needs/wants/desires ahead of hers and married my best friend while we were in Hawaii (my dream wedding place) for a College Research Conference. Can you imagine if I gave into the brainwashing that my Momster should be present, I would have hurt my DH because he secretly planned my dream wedding, I would have missed out and the only one that would have been happy was the Momster -- who we are NC with now. So I thank you for the validation that I did make the right choice.<br /><br />Rys, I am so glad that you Sis understands that your NM is nuts. Fear of further alienation & rejection from others keeps us stuck in toxic relationships & situations. Fear kept me frozen for a long time too. I love how you supported the younger you and told her that she is worth more than those projected lies that NM spewed out. You are so very worth it and our life does have value and meaning so we can not waste it on trying to make peace when NMs just want to make chaos and pain.<br /><br />Hugs,<br />LGSoaring Dove is Letting Gohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16470811256241169554noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2505388649159173103.post-12470923771851491642010-09-04T15:33:36.036-07:002010-09-04T15:33:36.036-07:00Hi Upsi, isn't great that we can accept that w...Hi Upsi, isn't great that we can accept that we are good enough, and that considering that are Ns in this world that lack empathy, remorse, and the ability to express and feel authentic love, well when we compare our self to them, hey we are pretty great! I know it is hard to use a term like great w/out asking self are you being a N? But I have discovered there are a lot of great people in this world and you are one of them!<br /><br />Hugs,<br />LGSoaring Dove is Letting Gohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16470811256241169554noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2505388649159173103.post-15165396731241786242010-09-02T19:07:18.400-07:002010-09-02T19:07:18.400-07:00I'd tell her to leave far sooner than I actual...I'd tell her to leave far sooner than I actually did. I'd tell her to go as far as she could and go NC immediately. Then I'd tell her when she met her husband to ELOPE. The wedding wasn't worth the headache, but the marriage definitely is!<br /><br />My younger self would have understood it if I told her that NM's nuts. The issue would be overcoming the fear and gathering up the courage to leave it behind. <br /><br />It doesn't matter what either of us is wearing, but I would feel very sad for my younger self, knowing what she'd already been through and what she was about to face. I'd let her cry on my shoulder, give her a gentle hug and tell her she is worth far more than the words NM has spewed. I'd tell her life is too short to keep attempting to make peace when NM clearly wants anything but.ryshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17152136745067431908noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2505388649159173103.post-58122142593943697422010-09-02T16:55:22.231-07:002010-09-02T16:55:22.231-07:00I would tell little upsi that she's good enoug...I would tell little upsi that she's good enough, and that it's okay to feel what she feels. I would tell her she's good. I'm working on teaching her than now, without a time machine :)<br /><br />xo<br />upsiinsihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15138938163815255743noreply@blogger.com