Thursday, February 18, 2010

Who is to blame for evil?

John Wayne Gacy's Sister and Mass Murderer Jim Jones' Son Speak Out

harpobear

Posted on Feb 13, 2010 7:22 AM

Imagine being related to a notorious killer. One woman is ready to tell the world that her brother is John Wayne Gacy. Plus, how Jim Jones Jr. has survived.

Bravo Oprah for once again showing Evil is as Evil does . . . now the rest of the world needs to deal with it! Stop making excuses and just deal with the fact that good and evil are a choice each and every human being makes. Please Ms. Oprah, for your last season hold nothing back. Speak your mind freely. I know there are things you want to say, but are holding back because you want to be respectful to your guests; however, when your guests give you lies to excuse or "explain" evil behavior/choices call them on it! The respectful and loving thing is to break the illusion that their lies create. Don't let them get away with it. If not for their sake, then for people all around the world watching. Here are some of the lies that were said on the show. These lies are straight from hell, so that the world will continue to make excuses for evil behavior -- we must stop that if we are ever going to make this world a better place to live.

"Mental illness made him do it" -- A mood disorder such as Bipolor will not "make" anyone do evil things. Metal illness will give people grandiose ideas & influence their mood either "up" or "down", but what people do in the highly elevated or depressed state has to do with their personality/soul. When two different people hit the "pit of depression", one applies the anger inward and wants to kill him/herself because s/he feels worthless as a parent, spouse, friend, etc. in contrast to the other depressed person who wants to kill others or abuse others verbally or physically. Same depression, one person chooses to blame him/herself where the other person blames others (this second person is known as the Narcassist/Sociopath/Anti-Social). In the elevated grandiose "up" state the first person wants to "save the world" where the second wants to destroy it. The same metal illness in these two cases--the difference is choice, to do good or to do evil.

"Alcohol or the drugs made him do it" - The expression, a nice drunk and a mean drunk demonstrates the fact that two different people both drunk out of their minds behave differently. The first wants to love on everyone, the second wants to fight and abuse everyone. Alcohol/drugs remove inhibitions and nothing more. They can not "make" someone evil. Alcohol/drugs just open the door, what lies behind the door is the person's true nature, either good or evil.

"His abusive childhood made him do it" - - Thank you Oprah for catching this one! Again doing good or doing evil is always a choice. Oprah, like many of us, was horribly abused, but chose, and still chooses, to heal not hurt others.

"I'm not supporting the evil behavior I am just supporting the person" -- By supporting an evil person you are telling yourself and others that what the person did was "just a bad choice" and not who they really are, which is a lie. Evil is as Evil does. The truth is that some people can't accept & deal with the fact that their family member is evil to the core and that there must be some good left, which there is not, because if there were any good left the person wouldn't have been able to do the evil things in the first place. Rip the band aid off and deal with the truth. Oh how the truth can hurt, but healing can only occur when evil is exposed.

I do have great sympathy for the guest on today's show. I do feel sorry that their family members chose to be evil and thus they forever lost their family member in that very moment when they first planned their first evil act. Accepting that your family member is truly evil is an extremely hard thing to do, but with God all things are possible. I had to accept the fact that the woman who gave me birth & raised me was/is evil. Nobody and nothing (not even a metal illness) is to blame for her evil behavior--it is her choice alone. The world does not want to accept the fact that evil exists, but it does. The majority of the world doesn't like to even use the word "evil". Just because an evil person does a good thing, doesn't make that person part good, or less evil -- it makes them a Great Deceiver and nothing more. I don't know how to express what I am trying to say, but I will do my best. Imagine you go to your favorite restaurant and the chief prepares your favorite dessert. The atmosphere is awesome, candle light, your favorite music playing in the back ground, the service is supreme, you are treated like royalty, your dessert is brought out on the most beautiful plate you have ever seen and you are given a golden spoon to eat your dessert with. The aroma feels your senses, you have never seen a dessert look this great, and the first bite sends you to the moon -- nothing less than spectacular! As you savior each heavenly spoonful you are thinking of all the people who you know who must try this heavenly dessert. Just then people in white uniforms come rushing to your table, Oh they must be the chief's staff. No they are a specialized medical staff that informs you that the chief "lost his mind" and put a teeny tiny spoonful of arsenic poison in your dessert and you have, but a few moments to live. You are having such a great experience up until now, so awesome of an experience that you can not believe what your own ears are hearing. Your mind can not accept what others are saying. Surely someone that created something so very good couldn't possibly do something so evil--or could he? But the dessert was 99% good, there was only a teeny tiny bit of arsenic added. Was the dessert reallymostlygood (smelled awesome, it looked spectacular, and tasted heavenly, or did that little bit of poison make it a deceptive deadly dessert? Evil is extremely poisonous -- a little bit goes along way to destroy lives. You can cover up the arsenic in all the sugar you want, but it doesn't change the fact that the arsenic is still there and is still deadly and will destroy when given the chance. Don't be fooled because an evil person can do a few "good" acts, the core is still evil.

Evil is as Evil does. The guests on todays show, as well as many others in the world, need to accept that fact and move on. Give up the illusion that there is "some good still left" in their evil family member. What ever good that was once there died along time ago. There should be no shame in having had a former family member or friend be an evil person. Continuing to support an evil family member or friend is a different thing all together, once their evil behavior has been exposed--in this case there is shame because now it is your choice to look the other way, justifying not ending a relationship with an evil person & making excuses for evil, and thus shame on those who do so. Another lie from hell is, I'm not supporting the evil person I am just supporting the person. By supporting an evil person you are telling the yourself and others that it is okay, and it is not. However, for those of us who have ended our relationships with an evil family member/friend, it is notour fault that they choose to be evil, therefore there is no condemnation, guilt, blame, nor shame. Just because we are genetically linked to a person we don't have to be condemned/sentenced to have a relationship with them. The truth is that a person chooses to be evil and it is no one else's fault. Stop making excuses for evil people and the truth shall set you free!

I know what it feels like to be abused to the point that you feel your life has no meaning and you have no value. I believe God has a special place in hell for those that use His name/words to justify their evil behavior. God gave us Free Will - the will to choose good or evil and in case we are confused He tells us to choose good. This is why siblings who come from the same background turn out completely different (one child becomes a loving person and the sibling becomes a murderer). Evil exists where we allow it to and our world will only continue to get worse instead of better, unless we place the responsibility solely on the individual who choose/s to do evil. Evil is not a respecter of person. It is found in every religious, ethnic, and economic background (Sep. 11th, Genocide's around the world-Bosnia-Herzegovina: 1992-1995 - 200,000 Deaths, Rwanda: 1994 - 800,000 Deaths, Pol Pot in Cambodia: 1975-1979 - 2,000,000 Deaths, Nazi Holocaust: 1938-1945 - 6,000,000 Deaths,Rape of Nanking: 1937-1938 - 300,000 Deaths, Stalin's Forced Famine: 1932-1933 - 7,000,000 Deaths, Armenians in Turkey: 1915-1918 - 1,500,000 Deaths, Catholic Priest-molesters/Monsters, Crusades, etc.) . I do understand that certain groups & abusive parents/spouse do not allow for free thinking, thus lack accountability and create a perfect environment for evil to flourish. However, it is still the individual who chooses to bring forth the evil and who is to blame not any particular group, horrible parent/leader/rock star, or even the devil himself. The devil can tell you what to do, but it is still YOUR choice to do it.

Monday, February 8, 2010

Honoring Abusive, Bad, Evil, Narcissistic, Toxic, Reprobate Parents?

Just a thought. . .

Honoring Parents, and other commands like do not divorce, etc. were written in the absence of abuse, or more accurately stated, the absence of evil. God is love and He is good, therefore, what He has to say pertains to those who are basically good and love and do not have the intention or desire to cause hurt & do evil. There is a huge world of difference between loving, imperfect and toxic narcissistic evil people. Those who do not understand the difference between imperfect and evil are either people who only had imperfect, not truly evil parents, or those (like I use to be) who really do have evil parents, yet are in a self-protecting, excuse making, denial state of mind (i.e.,"she can't help herself, not her fault, she had a bad childhood, she has a mental illness", etc.). The alternative, the truth, that our parent actually purposefully chooses to hurt us seems so unimaginable & too painful to accept that we grasp at any popular excuse that we can find to ease our minds & hearts, so that we can sleep at night. A parent who purposefully chooses to hurt their own child goes against basic nature to protect one's offspring. It is counterproductive to say the least. It is almost too much for the human soul to bare that your own parent, especially the woman who gave birth to you could be truly unremorseful, heartless, toxic, & evil.

(I have added the following paragraph to the original post in order to demonstrate the difference between the imperfect and evil parent).

Imagine two single women who are also single parents who decide to make money buy selling their bodies. Both choose to take drugs to numb themselves from the horrible life they chose. The imperfect parent eventually realizes that the life she has is damaging to herself and her children, in time stops her bad choices, is remorseful, asks forgiveness from her children & others who she has hurt, and leads a productive honorable life. The evil parent makes excuses for her life and is calloused to how her terrible choices hurt her children, never takes responsibility, blames her children for having to live the life of a drug addict & prostitute, verbally, emotionally & physically abuses her children and allows others to do the same, and not only sells herself, but her children as well to the highest bidder. The imperfect parent would protect her child if ever threatened and lay down her life for her child, in contrast to the evil parent who will lay down her child's life/feelings for her own gain. The imperfect parent is proud when her child succeeds and the evil parent is jealous & threatened by her child's successes and tries to sabotage her child's attempt at a better life. The imperfect parent brags about her child's accomplishments opposed to the evil parent's desire to put down or take away from her child especially when others are around, so that the evil parent looks better/smarter/more successful/talented than the child. The imperfect parent wants to put the spot light on and praise her child where the evil parent is extremely jealous & threatened by public praise/attention towards her child and will do what ever she can to take the attention away by causing some sort of a distraction (something that needs to be taken care of right away that only her child must do at this very moment, so that her child is physically taken away from the public attention, or she simply changes the focus to her and away from her child, or changes the the topic of discussion altogether). The imperfect parent can eventually admit when she has been wrong, be remorseful, apologize and ask forgiveness, and the evil parent is never wrong about anything & the expert at all things, and will triangulate and gaslight you to the point that you feel like you are the crazy one because your parent could never be so evil -- or could she? The imperfect parent cherishes her child where the evil parent abuses and uses her child and truly finds pleasure in her child's emotional/physical pain. The imperfect parent hates to see her child suffer in any way and the evil parent feels her best when you are at your worst. An evil parent you will know, when she treats you as her foe (see Sept. 09 post, Still A Work In Progress, original poem). If anyone else has an example to show the difference between an imperfect parent and toxic evil parent, please leave in the comments section.

God knows that we are imperfect and that there are those who choose to do abusive things that they later deeply regret. The key difference between imperfect and evil is the Remorseful Heart. The imperfect person truly has a remorseful heart which his/her changed behavior demonstrates and the evil person has a stone cold heart that lacks remorse and tries to blame others instead of taking full responsibility. Those of us who had a truly evil abusive parent know the difference between imperfect and evil and can understand the distinction between them. I believe that these commands were written in regards to loving & imperfect relationships and do not apply to abusive evil ones. God's love for us is unconditional; however, having a relationship with Him in Heaven is not. John 3:16 For God so loved the Earth that He gave His only son, that whoever believes in Him (Jesus) should not perish, but have ever lasting life. Thus whoever does not accept Jesus as his/her personal Savior will not have ever lasting life. God does put conditions/requirements on things. All paths do not lead to Heaven & God. Therefore, if a parent is to be honored, then s/he must act honorable and not abusive & evil. Does that mean that a parent has to be perfect? No of course not. This is where forgiveness comes into play. When a parent is truly remorseful, then a child can forgive a parent who changes. However, if a parent is not remorseful and sees no need to change a child is not forced/required/doomed/condemned to have an abusive, toxic relationship with an evil person that happens to be her parent. Matthew 10:34-39; tells us to separate from our parent and others. It says that Christ came to bring division. Surely separating from an abusive parent as well as an abusive spouse is what God has in mind here. God's love is perfect. In His love there is no abuse. His Love is so Amazing! Do you really think that a perfect loving parent would want His child to be put into harms way over and over again? No of course He wouldn't.

Yes, I know, God did put Jesus in harms way, because it was Jesus' destiny. Jesus suffered for the sins of the world because He is the Savior -- not us. Jesus was emotionally & physically slaughtered for sinners, so we don't have to be. It is not our destiny, nor our responsibility to save our evil parents, spouse, family members or friends. Not even God can/will save an evil person who is unwilling to change--so why do some people think or act like they are better than God? Why do they think they can do something that God will not do? God never tells us to lay our life down for an evil/toxic person. In fact He tells us to stay away & rebuke evil. Imagine your beautiful little daughter comes home from school with tears in her eyes. She tells you how her "friend" at school has been verbally & physically abusive towards her. You comfort her and explain to her that it wasn't her fault that this "friend" is abusive and that some people choose to be mean & do evil things which makes them our enemy and not our friend anymore. There are many scriptures that tell us to identify something as either good or bad and take the appropriate actions (read articles Are They Good or Bad? They Get Worse Not Better With Time, and By Their Fruits You Will Know Them). After numerous failed principal/parental interventions the abusive child continues to be a threat to your daughter. This enemy of your child has no remorse and no motivation to change her abusive evil ways. This mean abusive person may say everything you want & need to hear (which implies insight & remorse), but her abusive behavior never truly changes -- so what do you do? How many times must your child be slapped in the face before you have her end this toxic abusive relationship with the mean girl? When does your daughter get to fight back and protect herself from this enemy's attacks, do you condemn her to a life of doormat and personal punching bag? Of course you don't. You have your Beautiful Daughter end the abusive relationship with the mean girl ASAP (As Soon As Possible). You want to protect your child from evil doers at all costs -- it is a parental instinct that God created us to use. God is the perfect loving parent. We are created in His image and He wants to protect His children from evil just like we want to protect our children from evil, toxic, abusive people. Therefore, if God wants to protect His children from evil, and is no respecter of person, then why do some people believe that God wants us to honor evil abusive parents? God is perfect and would not contradict Himself, by saying rebuke evil at one time and honor it at another. Homework assignment, research the word reprobate in the Bible. I just discovered that you will have to use the old King James version, because the others have left it out. At least this is what I just found out after going to the Biblegateway.com -- the word reprobate literally got lost in translation! Read all scriptures you can find on it read the old King James version and switch it with another version to compare the difference.

Jeremiah 6:30
Reprobate silver shall men call them, because the LORD hath rejected them.
Jeremiah 6:29-30 (in Context) Jeremiah 6 (Whole Chapter)

Romans 1:28
And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient;
Romans 1:27-29 (in Context) Romans 1 (Whole Chapter)

2 Corinthians 13:5
Examine yourselves, whether ye be in the faith; prove your own selves. Know ye not your own selves, how that Jesus Christ is in you, except ye bereprobates?
2 Corinthians 13:4-6 (in Context) 2 Corinthians 13 (Whole Chapter)

2 Corinthians 13:6
But I trust that ye shall know that we are not reprobates.
2 Corinthians 13:5-7 (in Context) 2 Corinthians 13 (Whole Chapter)

2 Corinthians 13:7
Now I pray to God that ye do no evil; not that we should appear approved, but that ye should do that which is honest, though we be as reprobates.
2 Corinthians 13:6-8 (in Context) 2 Corinthians 13 (Whole Chapter)

2 Timothy 3:8
Now as Jannes and Jambres withstood Moses, so do these also resist the truth: men of corrupt minds, reprobate concerning the faith.
2 Timothy 3:7-9 (in Context) 2 Timothy 3 (Whole Chapter)

Titus 1:16
They profess that they know God; but in works they deny him, being abominable, and disobedient, and unto every good work reprobate.
Titus 1:15-16 (in Context) Titus 1 (Whole Chapter)

Reprobate is a new word that I learned about last year thanks to the Luke 17:3 Ministries. Google reprobate, I just did. Basically reprobates are people without moral scruples/a conscious. That is why they continue to say & do abusive, evil things. Reprobates are destined to eternal damnation; "God reprobated the unrepenting sinner". No where have I found that reprobates/evil people are infertile, thus it is logical that reprobates/evil people have children. What would God have us do with the reprobate parent? Remember, in Matthew 10:34-39; God says to separate from a parent--surely this is an abusive, toxic reprobate parent that He is referring to. Notice this scripture is from the New Testiment? It is very simple, God wants us to stay away from evil. Not have extremely low contact with it -- stay away from it. So what about the commandment to Honor Thy Mother & Father?

Children of Evil Parents are exempt from honoring evil parents in the traditional way that our society thinks about honoring, because we are to honor & respect good imperfect parents and rebuke evil & evil parents do not have an exemption from this rule. Just because they are someone's parent doesn't mean they get away with being evil towards their children &/or other people. There is great news! We can honor them in different ways.

How do we honor abusive, evil, reprobate, toxic parents?

We honor them by not returning the abuse that they gave to us.

We honor them by not wanting to destroy their lives, but to improve it/change it/transform it through Christ.

We honor them by praying for their salvation and for their break though.

We honor them by stop trying to save them, or change them, that it is Christ's job.

We honor them by letting go and letting God work a miracle.

We honor them by realizing that our enabling behavior & failure to give the ultimate consequence of no contact is getting in God's way.

We honor them by not enabling them to continue their abuse with us or with others.

We honor them by insisting that they get the professional help that they need, before they have anymore contact with us & our family members.

We honor them by remaining in a No Contact status and not being tempted to break it "for the kids sake" during birthday, holidays, or any other special occasion for this would send a mixed message & defeat the purpose of No Contact.

We honor them by giving them clear boundaries and consequences if they are not remorseful and repent/turn from/change/end their abusive behavior, OR we will have nothing to do with them.

We honor them by reversing the curse, in that we will not allow their abusive legacy to continue to our children.

We honor them by returning honor to the family's reputation & creating an awesome legacy for future generations.

Do you know another way we can honor our evil parents?

Share it with us & leave it on the comments section.

Just like there are two different kinds of families, loving/imperfect families and abusive/toxic families, there are two different kinds of honoring, honoring the loving parent and honoring the abusive one (as mentioned above). Both kinds of honoring parents should be equally respected because they come from love. When we honor abusive, evil, toxic, reprobate parents, as mentioned above, we are in fact fulfilling this commandment and need not feel any guilt that we can not do the other kind of honoring-it was not our choice to make. God blessed us with free will and it was our parents choice to be loving or abusive, therefore that places them in one category of honoring or another. Just as God says, I have put life (love/good) and death (hate/evil) before you -- choose life/love! Life/love is a choice and if we don't choose it then we get the natural consequence of our selection which is death. Death of a relationship with God and with others. God can not make people choose life/love and neither can we. The full responsibility of the death of a relationship lies on the abusive, evil, toxic, reprobate parent and no one else. A person should not be made to feel less of a Christian because she can not honor her evil parent in the exact same way a person who had a loving or imperfect parent. God says to rebuke evil--not honor it! We need to stop digging into one another, as the enemy would have us do, and start digging into scripture and stop ignoring what God says about people who are evil with a cold calloused unremorseful/unrepentful heart.

May the Lord bless you were ever you are at on your Life Journey.

There comes a time in our Healing Journey to Move On from the Pain of the Past. Moving On is a Process too that begins with little steps or small movements from a Crawl to a Walk to a Run. We will all reach this point in our own time in our own way. For me it is about having a Future that is Larger, Greater, and more Powerful than the Past. It is about having a Vision, a Mission, and a Dream much Much MUCH Bigger than myself. Here is my Small Movement focusing on Restoring Hope by Giving Dreams Wings,

Click Here.

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Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Mammalian Instinct--Mama Instinct

The Children of Elizabeth Smart's Kidnapper Speak Out

harpobear

Posted on Jan 29, 2010 10:38 AM
Wanda Barzee was a mother of six, a homemaker and an organist at her church. Two decades later, she would take part in one of the most infamous kidnappings of our time, the abduction of Elizabeth Smart. Today, Oprah talks to four of Barzee's six children who say they were her first victims and reveal shocking revelations about their childhood.

"It is our mammalian instinct to protect and care for our children, when that doesn't happen something is very wrong."
quote from Oprah 2/2/10
Ms Oprah, your profound statement keeps echoing in my mind days later. The answer to my life-long questions, What kind of mother fails to protect her children and what kind of mother finds pleasure in her child's pain? The answer is clear--she's no mother; she is only an egg donor. Just because a female can reproduce does not make her a Mother. It breaks my heart to read viewers post that they are thankful & grateful that their parent didn't kill them. You know I once thought, at least my mother did not give me up to foster care (due to the bad rap the foster care system gets from our media only reporting the horrible stories). Now I wish she had. At least then I would have had a chance to be loved and validated and not abused. Remember that scene in the movie Bambi where the Mama Quail distracts the hunters by flying away from her nest, thus ending her life and saving her baby birds. Why should we expect or accept any thing less from human mothers?
For those who have an evil, narcissistic person in their life who they refer to as "mother"; may I suggest you rethink this title and switch to the more accurate description of egg donor--I did at the end of last year and this simple change in title has helped heal & empower me to make a life changing decision to go NC (No Contact) with my egg donor.
Free at last, Free at last. Thank God Almighty, I am free at last!

-- another Oprah saying is

What You Do Today Creates Every Tomorrow

My personal motto's is Make an Excuse or Make a Change. I can continue to make excuses for my egg donor's evil toxic ways, or I can require her to make a change by establishing clear permanent consequences for her evil choices. Since she has no accountability, no responsibility, no conscious, no remorse, and no repentance or change and she refuses to acknowledge a need to change and stop being evil, then I must make a change and end our relationship in order to protect my child, my husband, and myself from further abuse. The only regret that I have by going NC is that I didn't do it decades ago. At least I can rest assured that I gave her more than enough chances to change.

Monday, February 1, 2010

If you are saved and you know it. . .

In our weekly Bible Study we were reading through the book of Philippians, and I was inspired by Paul's words,

Philippians 3:17-18

¹⁷Join with others in following my example, brothers, and take note of those who live according to the pattern we gave you. ¹⁸For, as I have often told you before and now say again even with tears, many live as enemies of the cross of Christ.

Who are the enemies of the cross of Christ? Is Paul referring to nonbelievers. Those who persecute/d Christians? Could Paul be talking about fellow Christians who take on the title, but not the real life of a Christian. Could he be talking about Christians who read their Bible every day and never miss a church service? Could he be talking about me? Yikes!

Then I hear Jesus say, "A new command I give to you: Love one another. As I have loved you, love one another. By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you love one another."

John 13: 34-35

Just last Sunday I volunteered in my daughter's Sunday school class and the lesson was, God wants me to do my best. This is a great lesson we can learn and relearn as we get older. What does it mean to do my best?

When I was young it was picking up all my toys the first time my parents asked without arguing. Now it means give some of my toys away (extra car, clothes, etc.,) the first time my Holy Father asks without arguing.

Do I have to be perfect? No, only Jesus was & is perfect. Does that mean I need to put on my super Christian cape and save the world, no of course not. This world needs and has only one Savior, and thank God we don't have to be it! Thank God for Jesus! In this backwards world in which we live in where wrong is right and right is wrong doing our best starts with ourselves, our family & friends, church family and neighbors. Let's just concentrate on those who are closest to us. If we see a need and we can fill it--fill it! Don't wait for a burning bush! Don't wait for someone to ask you to do something, like the dishes or volunteering in your child's class, just do it! Let's do our best for those we are the closest to and watch the pay it forward effect. One of my favorite tv shows is Heros--thus I say,

Save the family. Save the world.

God wants me to do my very best. Wow, if we applied that to our everyday life what blessings would that bring?

My beautiful daughter & I adapted the famous, If your happy & you know it song, to. . .