Saturday, June 9, 2012

Family -- redefine it to fine it!

It has been almost 3 years that I have left the Momster's KoN, and my Journey to Healing has taken me to the LOL (Land of Love) high on a mountain top where I have an entire new view point and perspective on the KoN. It is about Family and how we define it and find it. When you are born and raised in the KoN, and make the decision to leave you do feel like you are standing alone on your own. Although it was our choice to leave the KoN, spiritually we were abandoned by the evil nature of the N. When we discover that the Enablers are more like the N (covert Ns either Damaged/Disordered/or Combo of both) we see ourselves as orphans with no family of origin. I would love to share with you one more very powerful & healing scripture found in Matthew 12: 46-50

46 While Jesus was still talking to the crowd, his mother and brothers stood outside, wanting to speak to him. 47 Someone told him, “Your mother and brothers are standing outside, wanting to speak to you.”
 48 He replied to him, “Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?” 49 Pointing to his disciples, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers. 50 For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.”

I do not believe this was a slam against Christ's Mother and Brothers, but rather a Love Message to His Disciples & Followers at that time, as well as us today. Our Lord is telling us that we are not only His Disciples & Followers -- we are His Family. Family is defined by Love, not Biology. Therefore, we are not alone. We are apart of a Great Team, a Great Family, our Family of Origin comes from a connection to Heaven, not earth. I am closer to my Spiritual Sisters, that I have known for a short time, than I ever was to my biological sisters who I have known all their life. We are not alone, we have each other, and we have our Holy Parent who embodies both a Loving Mother & Father, and provides us with Loving Sisters and Brothers. 

After a devastation The Enemy attacks us when we are down, by mocking us and pointing out what we do not have, so that he can steal our Victory of leaving the KoN. The Enemy does not want us to succeed, does not want us to walk in our Destiny which is away from the KoN, because if we do we walk out of Deception and Destruction and into GOD's Kingdom and Purpose for our lives. The Enemy will do everything he can to bring hell against us, so he deceives us into believing that by leaving the KoN we have lost something instead of gaining something. He wants us to be devastated & destroyed, and at the least deterred from our Destiny, so he creates a Pit of Depression & Despair to offer us. Shout to the devil, Hell No I Wont Go. When we keep our eyes & heart set on Christ we will not sink into the deep pit of Depression & Despair over what we do not have, because we see with Faith that Christ brings us Greater Things, a Loving Family to replace the toxic one.

Those who are going through this wilderness, this Transition & Transformation Time, nourish, heal, and strengthen your soul on GOD's Word and Faithful Constant Certainties. 

Take Every Thought Captive

"We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ." -2 Corinthians 10:5

"When something robs you of your peace of mind, ask yourself if it is worth the energy you are expending on it. If not, then put it out of your mind in an act of discipline. Every time the thought of "it" returns, refuse it." - Kay Arthur

"Take EVERY thought Captive. Ask the Holy Spirit for discernment. Is this thought Righteous or Rotten?" ~ Anissa Stark

It is important to understand the grieving process, and not let the enemy deceive us. The enemy encourages us to build a wall around our wounded heart while we are in a vulnerable position, and to keep others away. There is a time to build a wall, and a time to take it down. The more we know Christ the more we have the blessing of discernment to identify those who are trustworthy, and those who are not, "spiritual red flags". We have got to bring down the wall to receive the healing love that is brought to us through trustworthy people. 

We grieve not what we lost, but rather what we never had. As GOD tells us there is a season & time for everything, a time for morning and a time for rejoicing. 

There comes a time for all of us to make the choice, we can either get bitter about having been in a KoN, or we can get better after leaving the KoN -- Bitter or Better, the choice is up to us. As for me, the KoN has taken enough of my time. I choose to be Better by being thankful for the Blessings GOD has given me, a wonderful husband & child, great friends, and ever growing spiritual family, and most of all GOD says that for those of us who are parentless, GOD will be our Parent. Out of our great need, comes a Greater Blessing -- GOD as Parent.

Yes, the enemy will try and deceive us to be depressed, and to be trapped in a Pit of Despair by bringing thoughts of what we do not have, what we are missing out on, but we can hold that thought captive, determine that is rotten, and send it back to hell from where it came. We can allow the Holy Spirit to transform our test, trials, tribulations, and devastations into Testimonies to share with others, help others, and bring Glory & Joy to the Lord. We are GOD's Kids, we are not victims, we are Victorious. We have so much to Celebrate.


  1. it is amazing to read scripture that denounces the scriptures that the enemy has used(wrongfully)to oppress us.I got to the point that if serving God meant the ongoing N abuse I would no longer serve Him. Turns out I am STILL a Christian after going no contact! AND a stronger person not caught up in serving(being exploited)every N that comes along! Oh my goodness how good it is to be free! Jesus said never again let yourself be under bondage. Hard to see while you are in it, very obvious when your not!

  2. Tinar r -- I hear ya about how others (even other Christians) will say we are not Christians, or that we are not being a good Christian, because we have no contact with unrepentant harmful Narcissists (Ns). However, if they read all the Scriptures about Reprobates/those who desire to do harm/evil to others they would discover that GOD says to stay away from toxic harmful people, to have No Contact. GOD also tells us not to argue with fools, so anyone who feels so strongly that I should have contact with the Ns that are no longer in my life, I tell them that I see how much you care for the unrepentant harmful N, and feel strongly that this is your personal ministry, and what is GOD is calling you to do, so here is his/her phone number and you can visit with them and minister to them, but for me and my house GOD tells us to have no contact. You know not one person has ever taken me up on the offer to minster to the toxic Ns, and I have pointed that out saying that why tell someone else to do something you are unwilling to do yourself?