Thursday, September 2, 2010

If I only knew then what I know now. . .

We all have said, hindsight is 20/20, so true! This got me thinking, what if CZ purchased a Time Machine from all the money earned from the future sold WoN coffee mugs and T-shirts,
and each of us separately got to take a trip back in time, When and where would you go? How far back you go depends on you. You get to pick the time and place to talk to your former self.

How old would you be?
What would you be wearing and What would you be doing?
Do you see yourself? What is the first feeling you experience when you see her?

If we could Time Travel back to our previous self what information would we share with her?
What wisdom about Self and others would you like to share with her?
If only you knew Then what you know Now -- what would you say to her?
What is the most important thing you would like to share with her?
What is the most important thing she needs to hear from you?

PS. I watched the movie, The Time Traveler's Wife last night. I enjoyed it.

Here is the follow up link,,7584.0.html


  1. I would tell little upsi that she's good enough, and that it's okay to feel what she feels. I would tell her she's good. I'm working on teaching her than now, without a time machine :)


  2. I'd tell her to leave far sooner than I actually did. I'd tell her to go as far as she could and go NC immediately. Then I'd tell her when she met her husband to ELOPE. The wedding wasn't worth the headache, but the marriage definitely is!

    My younger self would have understood it if I told her that NM's nuts. The issue would be overcoming the fear and gathering up the courage to leave it behind.

    It doesn't matter what either of us is wearing, but I would feel very sad for my younger self, knowing what she'd already been through and what she was about to face. I'd let her cry on my shoulder, give her a gentle hug and tell her she is worth far more than the words NM has spewed. I'd tell her life is too short to keep attempting to make peace when NM clearly wants anything but.

  3. Hi Upsi, isn't great that we can accept that we are good enough, and that considering that are Ns in this world that lack empathy, remorse, and the ability to express and feel authentic love, well when we compare our self to them, hey we are pretty great! I know it is hard to use a term like great w/out asking self are you being a N? But I have discovered there are a lot of great people in this world and you are one of them!


  4. Thank you rys for commenting. When my DH proposed, can you believe after all the Momster had done to me, I thought if we ELOPED she would miss seeing her D get married. This was a life changing moment for me because I for once put my needs/wants/desires ahead of hers and married my best friend while we were in Hawaii (my dream wedding place) for a College Research Conference. Can you imagine if I gave into the brainwashing that my Momster should be present, I would have hurt my DH because he secretly planned my dream wedding, I would have missed out and the only one that would have been happy was the Momster -- who we are NC with now. So I thank you for the validation that I did make the right choice.

    Rys, I am so glad that you Sis understands that your NM is nuts. Fear of further alienation & rejection from others keeps us stuck in toxic relationships & situations. Fear kept me frozen for a long time too. I love how you supported the younger you and told her that she is worth more than those projected lies that NM spewed out. You are so very worth it and our life does have value and meaning so we can not waste it on trying to make peace when NMs just want to make chaos and pain.


  5. PS. Hey Rys, how about renewing those vows either just w/DH at a very romantic location or with some close family & friends where NM is not present to contaminate things?

  6. Thanks Upsi for the added confirmation that I dodged a bullet. It really was a life changing moment of cutting the toxic umbilical cord. Looking back I see that as my first huge step out of the KoN.