Thursday, June 2, 2011

The Web of Narcissism (WoN) has Changed & is Unsafe for Healing

First and Foremost I want to thank ALL who used their Voice in support of me Not being all the things that CZ is FALSELY accusing me of right now. Thank You for having Courage, Honor, and Integrity. Thank You for Trusting what you have Yourself Experienced with me, instead of the Lies you are hearing about me. Thank you for saying my Voice mattered to You, and that it greatly helped You (at the very best) and didn't offend you (at the least), and was needed to be heard at WoN. It takes Enormous Bravery to let Your Voice be heard when it is Not Popular, because there is the Overt, Covert, and Ambient Negative Ramifications that come from such a Brave Choice. I Highly Respect & Admire those who are concerned with doing the Right Thing, especially when it is Unpopular with the Leader of the Pack. Your Risk and Sacrifice has Not gone unnoticed. I noticed it, and was Deeply touched by it, not only by fellow Believers, but Non-Believers as well. You are & have risked much to keep me in a Positive Light. I DEEPLY appreciate what you have done and risked on my behalf and may GOD Greatly Bless you for that Gift you have given me. Believers, Different Believers, and Non-Believers have risked so very much for me, and I am so very thankful towards you. When the Voice you dare to disagree with goes against someone who has the perceived power to control your healing, and the access to your very needed Support Group, because let's face it, there are only few places that are filled with People who understand & know what we have experienced in the KoN, because they also have been there themselves -- to risk that in Any way is something I HIGHLY Admire, Respect, and Treasure.
Big Hugs of Gratitude & Love to each of You!

Due to recent Policy Changes which create the Atmosphere of any given Public or Communal Environment I can Not in Good Conscience recommend going to the Web of Narcissism (WoN) On-Line Support Group Forum. I want to make it Abundantly Clear that it has absolutely Nothing to do with the Amazing Members & Friends I met there, and is the result of CZ's (WoN's Creator) Sudden Change, thus her Forum has Changed, and Not for the better, but for the Worse.

Due to CZ's New Rule of Banning All Religious Expression, or reference to God, the Spiritual Voice at WoN has now become Silenced. I had fear that this would happen some day. I was Publicly assured by CZ on MORE than one occasion, AND verifiable in a Thread I created at WoN called Fear of being Me. I thought this Fear came from my Experience with the Narcissist in Sheep's Clothing from the Buyer Beware Unsafe Forum, but due to recent events I now see it had to do with much MORE than just that. I thought it had to due with the Momster's KoN, but due to recent events, in addition to the insight of others who know CZ, I Now see & understand it had to do with much MORE than just that as well. I beat myself up for Fearing to be Me at WoN. I thought at the time I made that Post that I was being a Paranoid Fool, and that there was no grounds for having this Fear. This Fear or Worry seemed so illogical & irrational, because at the time (and for over a year) I was encouraged by CZ to be Me and Speak in My Unique Voice which Everyone and Anyone who reads what I write knows that is a Spiritual Voice. I have Always spoken in my Spiritual/Christian Voice, and it has Always been present for over a year now. My Voice has Not Changed, but CZs has. Her Voice use to be about Inclusion not Exclusion, about Acceptance & Tolerance not Intolerance & Discrimination. I use to Highly Admire & Value her Voice and the Heart and Mind that it represented, but because Her Voice has changed demonstrating that her Heart & Mind has also changed I am shocked, hurt, confused, disappointed, angry, repulsed and disgusted by what is Now coming out of a Voice that was once Honorable & Righteous, because it was filled with Understanding & Love, or maybe I was deceived partly due to my own Projection and ignored some Red Flags. I didn't want to see the Red Flags, because I have been through this before, or at least something too close to this, and did not want it to happen again. CZ's covert attack was "not as bad" as what happened with me and Danu -- yet, but staying at a place that is "not as bad" is not good for me or anyone else. I am not going to stick around to wait for things to get worse. I know what it is to settle for "not as bad" and that isn't any good. I am not going to be in a place where My Voice is Silenced.

CZ and I have discussed the importance of allowing each Person to speak in his/her Unique Voice in order to facilitate & nurture the Healing Process. Since the Spiritual or Religious Voice has been Silenced due to Censorship, Healing at WoN will be hindered at the very least. Where healing is hindered I believe it is actually being prevented which creates a Ceiling Effect, because what one thinks is possible can not be achieved. It is so very Essential for People in Healing to speak from their Own Unique Voice.

Due to the insight that has been gained from a Former WoN Members, I do believe that a Conscious Fully Aware, Deliberate, Smear Campaign was created in order to Victim Blame and deflect CZ's Obvious Change. CZ and I greatly differ on Unconscious Ego Defenses. I do not support that Theory due to Lack of Evidence which I explain in Conscious or Unconscious Attacks/Abuse I do believe that when we hurt someone we are not in that very second or instant Always Fully Aware or Conscious of hurting someone, or is that my own Projection and Ego Defense talking? Seriously I can consider that in a specific given instant which is not prolonged over time (hours, days, weeks, months, years) the attack can be unconscious. How CZ has chosen to treat me as she says was "thought out", because she gave it "careful consideration". Her two recent emails to me were thought out & deliberate. Lies have been said by CZ and are most likely continuing to go on at one degree or another against me in order to justify her changed or finally revealed attitude towards me. She is doing her very best or should I say worst to Victim Blame in order to deflect from HER Obvious Change.

Many WoN Members share my feelings of being shocked, confused, hurt, disappointed, and angry to one degree or another. Some have let their Voice, Feelings, and Thoughts be heard and some have remained silent due to negative Repercussions & Consequences even in a covert and ambient way as in their Posts being ignored to being treated with less compassion, encouragement & validation. Everyone wants to be treated as Equals, and we all know that willNot happen, or a Great Possibility of that Not happening if you Support, Agree or Validate Letting Go (which was my Member Name at WoN). There is a Direct Correlation between the Level or Amount of Public Support one is willing to give to the Underdog or Scapegoat as to not have harsh, negative or indifferent replies to their Public Posts. No one wants to have what they say, no matter how valid, to be held against them not even in an Ambient (undetectable tomost) Way. It did happen to me at WoN. When I first arrived at WoN, CZ was compassionate, supporting, validating, etc, but that level did significantly decrease at a Ambient Level. I approached CZ and asked, Did I do something wrong? Wondering why is she ignoring my Posts? Am I just being too sensitive or too needy? And she said, because she concentrates on those who need her, the Newbies, the younger kids (which is understandable), and said she realized that she does need to remember to not ignore or neglect the "older kids". I told her that the older kids still need her. She has Not completely ignored all my Posts (and as we know Posts represent Self on a Forum), but there was an Ambient Lack of Equality that she gives to others who closer share her views. There was Favoritism which was Ambient (undetectable tomost). Sometimes she really did seem to validate what I was saying, but you might begin to notice that she does respond more compassionately to those closer to her way of thinking. Some say this in Natural, thus Acceptable. I disagree. I Accept, Respect, and Love everyone equally regardless if they share my same beliefs, and I give them equal if not more of my time, because different perspectives are interesting.

So what is a Remaining WoN Member to do? What are you to do when you are left with all of this confusion due to two very conflicting Perceptions of Reality? What I recommend to my Family, Friends, and Clients is to Take the Scientific Approach. Try to distance yourself and let go of all preconceived ideas about the two different Realities or People. Reserve Judgement. Do Not be compelled to make an immediate decision. Tell Self you are in a Process of Data Collecting. Our Natural tendency is to Collect Data with a biased opinion in order to support the conclusion we want, the Reality we want, and we need to keep reminding Self to Reserve Judgement. Reserve Judgement. and Reserve Judgement. Our Natural Tendency to search, collect, or accept Data or Information that supports the Reality that we favor is calledConfirmation Bias, and trained Researchers & Professionals such as Scientists, Counselors & Therapists make this very easy mistake, and that is one reason the N can N-chant even very experienced Professionals, their bias is that the N is not a N, because they know if the N were a N (a Mid to High Level N) their treatment/counseling/therapy will not be effective, thus making their goal unachievable, and that is hard for even a Trained Professional's Ego to take, because we are all Human and we want to achieve our goals of helping our Client.

First Question to ask in regards to what is happening between CZ and myself as well as in any relationship, Whose Behavior has Changed? Who is not who s/he Used to be? It is important to think about Cause and Effect. If our Behavior has changed, Is it in reaction to the N? My Posts regarding CZ's behavior change towards me and ALL Believers at WoN was greatly effective, but what caused that to happen?

As I mentioned before, it is CZ's New Rule of Censorship and Silencing the Voice of ALL Believers. I do not support Censoring or Silencing Any One's Voice, and CZ is doing her very best to justify something that is Very Wrong. She says that just being a Christian or simply encouraging People by saying God loves you and has great plans for you and His plans does not include abuse is offensive, hurtful, divisive, etc. I know what it is like to be too easily offended by a statement of Love -- been there.

Due to all the abuse I suffered as a Child I once thought There is No God, if there is a God she or he does not care about me to allow this abuse to happen to me. As I have said I have suffered & endured ALL types & kinds of Abuse this World inflicts upon a Person. Having been there I can say in Good Conscience and without any bias that Someone telling us that God loves them is Not a mean and cruel thing due to the intent in the words. The intent is to Love us, not hurt us.

The Problem of being too easily offended by someone sharing Love with us is not their Problem or Issue, but ours that we need to work through as someone who has been hurt, abused, and is left damaged. It has been said to me that what if I don't believe in your God or even hate your God, Now do you see what you said as being hurtful? No. Because the intent was not to hurt, but to help. I can not control if someone is hurt or offended by an Expression of Love. What if someone said to me, Budda Loves you Letting Go, I would reply, Thank You & Jesus Loves you. I can except anyone's Expression of Love, because I know it was not intended to harm me. CZ knew that an Equal Comparison of a Different Believer expressing her Love or ideas would not hurt me, so she thinks of the Worst comparison she can to "prove her point" that what someone can say can hurt you. Therefore she compares my Nature, Passion, and "who" I am to a Person who believes the devil being in him is "who" he is. Some Members want to deny that CZ was not comparing me only by beliefs, but if you can look w/an unbiased eye you will see that what I told CZ that being a Christian is not what I believe in but "who" I am, so she was in fact comparing Me by making in her statement the Demon Possessed Person is "who" he is and because of that should be allowed to express "who" he is at WoN -- "What is a forum Manager to do?" I believe was the question. And I replied my 4yr old has Discernment and can identify Good from Evil, an adult should be able to do the same. Comparing "who" I am as a Christian to "who" the Devil Possessed Person is like comparing a Slave Master's viewpoints, desires, who he is to the Slave, or the Rapist or Murder to the Victim. The devil, the source of evil, is our enemy, so that was not an equal comparison in order to get her point across, it did LACK Empathy & Compassion as well as Wisdom. Some Members say that CZ's hurtful comparison is justifiable "to prove her point" which she can not, because as I mentioned above only an Equal Comparison is Logical. CZ's is trying to say, don't hold me accountable and responsible for what I said, because I was trying to prove a point by offending or hurting you, the Ends justify the Means -- however her comparison Lacks Validity & is totally illogical. I pray it does not take a background in Research to accept my point is valid and to notice that she is Justifying Purposely hurting someone to "try and prove her point" -- HUGE RED FLAG!

CZ claims that her offering to help me start my own Forum where I can be more comfortable or free to express who I am, etc and not offend others was to be taken as a kind solution. She wants people to believe that it was a form of compassion when it was about Segregation. How can I support such a claim? Keep reading.

* It was recently brought to my attention that I forgot to add this Very Important Part when I originally wrote this Article. After CZ offered her Solution to help me create another Forum for All Believers and declined her offer, I recommended that CZ created a place at WoN to that All Believers could talk about Narcissism from a Spiritual Perspective. Create a Sub-Forum on her Forum like she has with the Writing A Wrong sub-Forum. This way WoN Members have a place to freely talk about their experience in their Unique Voice. Those who want to hear or participate in a Spiritual Perspective on Nism could participate and those who don't want to can avoid the Spiritual Perspective Forum. CZ said she was Not going to do that. If she really cared about ALL of the WoN Members she would do her very best to provide a Place on her Forum where they could CONTINUE to speak in their own Unique Voice. This Clearly Proves CZ intends to Silence the Voice of ALL Believers.

As I told CZ I have neither the desire, skills, or time in order to create and maintain a Safe Forum. In order to save face she wants me and others to believe that she is offering me The Golden Apple, being a fairy God-Mother and making my Dream come true. However, her offer is not a Golden Apple, but rather a Shiny Carrot in order to get me to leave WoN without saying a word and holding her accountable and responsible forHow she is Completely Changing the Environment & Atmosphere at WoN due to herCensorship, Silencing All Believers, Creating a One-Way Tolerance for others and an Intolerance against Believers, thus also creating Discrimination and Religious Persecution. Not to mention the covert attempt at Character Defamation or Character Assassination throughFalse Accusations (aka Lies) that I violated confidentiality. Her attacks are aimed at me being both a Christian and a Professional Counselor in which I HIGHLY value and protect a Person's confidentiality. I know what it is like to be personally violated, so for CZ to Falsely Accuse me of doing something I did Not do (CZ is Fully aware that what she is saying are Lies) is very deceptive, insidious, pathological & cruel.

As a WoN Member it is up to you to ask yourself w/out any Bias is there Now Censorship at WoN? And if this fact is true, then all that follows is also painfully true no matter how much we don't want to believe it is so. Some People believe since they are not being Censored, then no one else is. If you Self-Censor for what ever reason that is Your Choice that was not forced upon you.

Golden Apple or Shiny Carrot? How do I know for sure and beyond a shadow of a doubt that it was a Shiny Carrot in order to get me to leave w/out holding CZ accountable & responsible? Because it was Not made all by itself. It did Not stand alone as a Loving, Kind, Thoughtful, Considerate, Empathetic Gesture. It came with False Accusations (Lies), saying that I had violated my fellow WoN Members & Friends trust, safety, security, confidentiality, etc which is hurtful because it is False and Slanderous. CZ said I am doing something horrible by Cross-Posting which she has ALWAYS SUPPORTED and has been FULLY AWARE OF since I joined WoN. She FULLY Supported, Validated it and Encouraged me linking my Blog back to WoN. She is at the time of writing this Post a Follower of my Blog.

I want you to scan through my Blog and notice that ever since I joined WoN I have linked back to it. I even created a post like ad that CZ used on WoN about Discovering a Love one is a N, (on WoN I think it is at the top of the Forum). For Proof that CZ was FULLY AWARE, to read her actual Comment that she herself posted, Click Here. And I found another Article/Post that I have on my Blog that links back to WoN and proves CZ was Fully Aware, Click Here. CZ has ALWAYS known that I link back to WoN and it has NEVER been a problem until last week. Look at her posted Comment and noticethe date the URL address that was before I knew how to embedd on my Blog. Links have Alwaysbeen there. And CZ is FULLY aware of that fact. To try and imply or create the illusion other wise is Deceptive & Pathological.

There is Extreme Deception on her part by trying to make me and others believe I did something Horribly Wrong. I know this is going to hurt or offend some and that is NOT my intent, as we all know accepting a Painful Truth is very hard to do, we naturally want to avoid the pain, thus avoiding and denying the Truth, yet the Verifiable Facts speak for themselves. And given these Facts, whether or not accepting them is painful, the Facts prove her False Accusations (Lies) are a form of either overt, covert, or ambient Gaslighting, let your Conscience & Critical Thinking decide, and not unquestioning devotion. False Accusations (Lies) are a form of Gaslighting and is Another HUGE Red Flag.

CZ continues to lie and accuse me of things I am not doing, such as Triangulation, if I dare to explain things. Again use your Critical Thinking. This is again Slanderous, and is her continued attempt at a Character Defamation, so that she can deflect HER Obvious Change, her lies, her false accusations, and deceptive behavior. Another HUGE Red Flag.

It is a Lie that I have asked others to leave. I have publically said to NOT leave on My acount, do what You need to do that brings You Peace. Having Peace is a helpful tool for Discernment & Confirmation about making the Right Choice for each of us. Regarless if you decide to stay at WoN, the Facts I presented remain Valid. I understand some may have to deny these Facts in order to ease their Conscience and be comfortable at staying at WoN. I am Not telling you to leave WoN (that is a conclusion for You to make) only to know the Facts. Your decision to stay or go has to do with Your Conscience and is between You and God to decide not me, or anyone else. I only stated that in Good Conscience to have Peace within Myself I can not stay at WoN no matter how MUCH I am missing you all and will continue to miss you all and I am in a DeepGrieving Process, due to losing my WoN fellow Members & Friends.

I have recently read CZ's Post on What is Cross-Posting? This seems like a Smear Campaign to me as well as others who have been contacting me saying how confused, shocked, hurt, and disappointed they are at CZ's Sudden Behavioral Change. I HIGHLY value the Wisdom from other Members on WoN (their shared Wisdom are Gems to me that I Treasure) and when A Member who I have formed a Friendship with has said something that pertains to a Topic I have written about I ALWAYS ask them permission FIRST before I quote their statement on my Blog using their WoN Screen Name as to Maintain Confidentiality & Protect their Identity even when I know their Real Name. I am a Professional Counselor and I know the Importance of Not violating Anyone's Confidentiality.

Susy, aka Wonder Woman has a quote of mine in her tag line, and she put it on a Silver Bracelet. That is honorable, a complement, and I take NO offense in that what-so-ever. Look out Wonder Woman someone is after your Silver Bracelets -- and it aint me! I completely trust WW and she has quoted me on her tag line, and on her website as I have quoted her, and we both have given each other credit.

Past Members who are no longer at WoN are quoted on my Blog, because I FIRST asked permission.

CZ has Publically said on her forum that ALL statements (including Members own statements and my own statements) belong to her because WoN belongs to her. Other WoN Members have disclosed to me that CZ has tried to steal their statements and claim them as her own. CZ has been told by previous WoN Members to stop Plagiarizing. CZ has said that although I gotpermission from the Members themselves to quote what they had said on my Blog according to CZ I am in violation of breaking Her rule. I know this is shocking and I can't believe she would say that in order to justify her false accusations (lies). Another HUGE Red Flag. This is why I told Susy, aka Wonder Woman look out someone is after your silver bracelets and it aint me! CZ believes she owns Everyone's words that are shared on "HER FORUM". CZ you did Notcreate Other People's words, thus you have No Legal, Moral, nor Ethical right to them. You can not own something someone else created.

My quotes and My concepts that I expressed and shared on WoN do Not in ANY way belong to anyone, except Me. And you don't own other WoN Members words either. This is ExtremeGrandious Thinking. STOP trying to claim what rightfully belongs to me, AND what rightfully belongs to others, as your own. I thought you were Smarter & Healthier than that.
This is a Huge Red Flag.

I am completely honored when someone uses My Concepts, Terminology, Slogans, Mottos, Statements, etc. and quotes me. The Kingdom of Narcissism (the KoN) and ALL the others Icame up with belong to ME not CZ. You and everyone else are welcome to continue to use them as they always have been, because the KoN perfectly describes what we all have been though w/these Ns we have each N-countered, but CZ do NOT say or imply in any way that they belong to you.

ANY time I quote from a Friend I ask permission, Liberty and all the rest can testify to that and I pray they will due to their Good Conscience.

Anyone who has decided Due to Recent Events to change their mind about being quoted on my Blog just let me know and I will remove it as soon as I find it, unless you have the link, then you can post it in the Comment Section (there is a Safety Protection on posting the Comments and Comments do NOT get immediately posted) and I will remove your quote. I completely understand if you feel like you now need to change your mind. I have sent emails out to Members who I have their personal email stating the same thing and Not One Person has changed her mind.

I would also appreciate confirmation from those Members who have given me permission to quote them.

Not that I need to explain my actions because MY Voice has ALWAYS been the same, I have notchanged who I am, I have always been who I presented myself to be, and I have not changed, nor revealed anything different, but CZ has and that is WHY she created a Smear Campiagn with one lie after another.

The Facts are what they are, and like I said my Posts & my History at WoN stand on their own.

WoN is a Totally Open Publicly Accessed Forum/Group. A Private Support Group means that there is No Public access what so ever, only open to registered Members, this applies to Cyberspace as well as in person. Anyone can surf on over to WoN and read ALL of the Posts 24/7. I did that for weeks maybe a couple of months before I joined in order to Post. SINCE WoN is Totally Open for Public viewing I did Not violate confidentuality by placing a link on my Blog back to WoN because anyone can view that Thread/Post at any time. PLUS as you see in the link listed above CZ has ALWAYS been AWARE of the links. AND I have posted at WoN how I link back to WoN from my Blog, so for her to TRY to create the Appearance that she was totally unaware of this fact is so VERY Deceptive & Cruel.

Furthermore I have Always linked from WoN to my Blog when I posted at WoN, and it has Neverbeen a problem until NOW.

The other Slandeous Claim is that I multi-linked excessivly. Never been told that before. The Thread I wrote on How to bring the KoN to The End is the ONLY Post were I had more than "a normal amount of links" back to my Blog because it was a SUMMARY of the KoN, thus REQUIRING more links than Normal -- I guess common sense is no longer common even with Forum Creators. I have NEVER been told not to link back until last week, nor have I been told how many links I can have in one post. If it was only one I would have kept it to one. If it were 2 then I would have kept it to 2.

Use your Discernment, as long as you have known me I have ALWAYS spoken w/my Spiritual Christian Voice I am not the one who has SUDDENLY changed.

Remember the Thread, Fear of Being Me. Re-read it (if it is still at WoN) and see how I was ASSURED it was okay to speak in my Voice and be me. I have ALWAYS spoke in my Christian Voice because that is Who I am and I was assured, supported, and encouraged by CZ to notstop. I know it is unpopular to be a Christian on a "Secular Forum" that is suppose to have Recipocated Tolerance.

CZ you are creating the impression that I stole Member's quotes, posted them on my blog w/out getting permission from them. This is slanderous, offensive, and divisive.

My writing speaks for itself. I am accused of not having communication w/Members, and just copy/pasting one reply for another. Look at the Members Post that say I have been Very Helpful to them -- How could I do that if I was not relating with them? I am offened by the False Implications & False Accusations that are being made.

CZ says there is to be no mention of Faith on "HER FORUM", yet, What does She do the Firstchance she gets -- Slams Catholics. What I refer to as Toxic Teasing. Another HUGE Red Flag

How about a Thread on Recipocated Tolerance or Practice What You Preach?

Before you type something ask yourself is this going to offend and hurt someone? I am not a Catholic, the church I attend is Non-Denomination. The covert, snarky attack or slam against Catholics -- Is that HEALING to a Catholic? Was that Compassionate? Shouldn't Healing, Empathy, and Compassion be the focus of a Support Group?

I have Never made light or put down anyone's Religion or lack there of and there are Members on WoN who are Not Christians who have posted that NOTHING I have said constitutes as being offensive. CZ justifies her actions by saying she makes fun of New Age Beliefs -- okay so when did being an Equal Offender become a positive trait for a Person to have, not to mention a Forum Creator or Leader of a Support Group that is suppose to be focused on Healing? What CZ has said about other's Faith is very offensive. I have never put down another Person's Faith, Healing Tools, or anything else.

Another recommendation. Someone start a Thread on What defines being Offensive? Just because you don't like, agree or object to a statement does NOT make it offensive. HOWEVER, doing Toxic Teasing as CZ has done is in Fact VERY offensive and a Forum Creator and Leader should be able to tell the difference between what qualifies as being offensive and what does not. Telling someone that God Loves them, has great plans for them and abuse is not apart of it, is Not offensive as CZ claims, HOWEVER, slamming someone's Faith, and Healing Tools is VERY Offensive which is CZ admits to doing on "HER FORUM".

The Verifiable & Undeniable Facts, not opinions, speak for themselves. Base your decision on FACT Not Opinon. Use critical, unbiased and objective thinking and not unquestionable loyality to CZ, me or anyone other human being. When we do so we turn a Person into a God, and that is a VERY Dangerous thing.

CZ made a hurtful comparison with me to a person possesed by the devil "in order to prove her point" and has no idea why I am offended and she was offended that I would compare her to Danu, aka The N is Sheep's Clothing, YET both of them have Censored & Discriminated againstALL Believers which is at least covert Religious Presecution. Both have used False Accusations (Lies) against me in order to Defame & Assassinate my Character & Reputation. CZ does haveseveral things in common with Danu.

What I have learned from Both CZ and Danu is BEFORE you join a Forum:
(1) When someone says "Secular" they are being Deceptive, because that term impliesTolerance & Equality, but what they really mean is that we accept everyone EXCEPT Believers.
Secular = Censorship & Discrimination for ALL Believers of various Faiths.
HUGE Red Flag

(2) Look for Trained Professionals (those who have Earned their Degrees at an Authentic College) who are experienced and trained to actually run a Support Group. Unprofessional Forum Leaders lack the Ethics & Accountability to resolve any differences in a Respectful & Healthy Manner. Simply put Untrained Professionals lack the tact to Respectfully ask someone to leave their Forum, because protecting their Public Image is more imprortant than doing the Moral & Ethical thing.
HUGE Red Flag

(3) Ask the Forum Creator how many of your Advisors/Leaders have left and for what reasons? Not that they would tell you the Truth, and since there is no way to Fact Check we would have to just take their word. Both CZ and Danu have had their Long-Term Advisors Leave.
HUGE Red Flag
When CZ's Former Long-Term Advisor Eyes-Up left abruptly w/out saying Good Bye that left Forum Members shocked, confused, and hurt. It was NOT like Eye-Up to take off without informing others, especially due to the important role of Advisor she had at WoN & the great impact she had on other's lives. That was not like her at all, yet CZ implied that Eyes-Up did not care about others, because she left w/out saying Good-Bye. I Now have a much better understanding how that happened and I know Eyes-Up is NOT responsible, and she did the right thing given how CZ twists the Truth to protect her own False Public Image. Whether or not CZ is a N each person must decide, but at the very least she is a Counterfeit and NOT who she appears to be to others, and that is based on the combined experiences of others. I now understand why Former WoN Member would just vanish w/out saying a word.
Who in the Word would want to stick around for a overt or covert Smear Campaign? Who wants to get into a Battle of She said vs She said, w/CZ having the Home Court Advantage, because she created the court and others need access to her court to receive validation, confirmation, and healing from her and/or more importantly other Members.

I must say in spirt of what CZ did to me w/her False Accusations, False Allegations & Smear Campaign, Members had the chance to Publicly say how they Disagree with how CZ is portraying me to the rest of the Forum Members and they got to thank me for helping them, so that was definitely worth going through CZ's Smear Campaign & battling all the lies she is saying.

I have presented the Facts for People to make their own assessment about whether or not they want to join WoN, to stay at WoN, or Leave WoN.

For my Personal & Professional Assessment & Recommendation.
I have consulted with my Friends & Collgues who have the Highest degrees possible. They know due to my Personal & Professional History that I am very accurate in presenting the Facts as best as any human can because they know I am accountable to God and I take that EXTREMELY Important. They are not basing their Assessment on my opinions, althougth they trust them, they are basing it SOLEY on Verifiable Facts from what CZ has done to me as well as others. As to making a Formal Dx. without actually talking with CZ we are all in agreement that saying CZ has a Personality Disorder Could be inaccurate. Whether or not she is Damaged or Disordered like Danu, the N is Sheep's Clothing, time will only tell or reveal. At the very least she is a Counterfeit and not who she appears to be. It is unanimous that in CZ's Current Mental & Emotional State; Lack of Insight, Accountability, Integrity, Morals, Ethics, Empathy & Remorse; her Smear Campaign, Deceptive Lies, and Pathological Thinking which has led to an Abuse of Power, Character Defamation, Censorship, Intolerance, Discrimination, Religious Persecution we must conclude at this time CZ is Not fit to run the WoN Forum or Any Support Group. CZ needs some time off from being a Forum Leader and needs to find a great Counselor or Therapist to deal with the areas that still Need healing. Maybe in time, after the assistance of a Trained Professional, and perhaps when the time is right, AFTER CZ's own healing has been Complete, a Trained Professional can advise CZ to take Counseling Classes, build the Professional Skills that are Required and Essential for being a Forum Creator, Leader and/or Advisor. A Trained Professional Must be on the Advisory Board, an active Supervisor, so that the Forum Creator/Leaders/Advisors can be Accountable to the Members they serve and be reminded that the Goal is First & Foremost To Do No Harm -- CZ is Clearly in Violation of this Rule or Oath that we Professionals take Very Seriously & is at the very Corner Stone of what we believe and how we conduct ourselves. Without Strong Personal Integrity & Accountability Damaged & Disordered People such as CZ & Danu become a Serious Danger to Others.

As I have explained in a Post at WoN, when Eyes-Up (a former very active WoN Advisor) left w/out saying Good Bye, that staying in a Peer-based Support Group for an extended amount of time reaches an Optimal Level for either Peers or Leaders (that moment in time varies for each individual) and the extended amount of time over the Optimal Level (which is different for each person) becomes a detriment to Self. Think of it as Too Much of a Good Thing. This is a Reason for Compassion Fatigue. It is also the reason Counselors and Therapists have the Second Highest Burnout, Depression, and at the worst case suicide based on Professions, because their Clients move on they do not. Professionals go through one crisis after another w/their Clients. They are stuck dealing with the same painful, depressing, and devastating issues. I can write a separate Article on this alone. I want to conclude by saying CZ's Assessment to be a Healthy, Safe, & Productive Forum Creator/Leader was not meant to harm her, but to help her gain insight to the harm she is causing others. I know I am not the first to point out these things, so I pray that CZ is not a N and will be able to see how she is hurting others.


  1. CZBZ has always been like this - the commandant of the Web of MY WAY OR THE HIGHWAY... since she was tossed off the Vaknin forums she has tried to become the Leader of Narcissism information (and she has a lot of competition).

    Sorry you had to go thru this...

    and there's more:

    does seem like no place is safe for us victims sometimes...

  2. Barbara, given all the background info. the Web of Narcissism in name only is a Big Red Flag. These spiders that prey upon the wounded & vulnerable are diabolical beings who lack a conscience.

    I have only heard good things about Sandra Brown, so People must check out all info that is available in order to make an informed decision.

    I read a little bit of what is posted on blog link you provided above. I do not believe that a Person needs to have his/her Ph. D in order to counsel others, but there are many other Red Flags listed on the blog that others need to consider.

    Professionally & Personally speaking, in regards to those of us who have been Deceived & Hurt by Toxic & Counterfeit People, aka Sociopaths, and have loved Beings who are incapable of reciprocating Love what I have said in the past is that, It is Not HOW we Love, but (WHO) we Love that is the Problem.

    There is nothing wrong with having "Super Traits" or Attributes only sharing them with Beings who can not reciprocate them, thus they do not value them and only want to use & abuse our Great Qualities to control us is what must change & stop by us going NC w/these Soulless Creatures. I do not support any Theory that is based, founded or contains any aspect of Victim Blaming.

    Do not change who you are only who you Love!

  3. The people who take advantage of those hurting & desperate on the web is astounding. I have been accused of doing it but I have only charged THREE (3) people for my time... made only $200 in 4 years because I know people are devastated, broke and need help. (my accounts bear me out).

    CZ has been a problem for a long time. She tends to go on & on never really getting to the point but reframing and restating what others have already said.

    We need to exercise caution. Some we call 'friends'? we only need make one minor mistake for them to blame us for all the ills of humanity. Victims tend to place their anger and rage inappropriately.

    No, i think other victims make the best mentors, but everyone needs to exercise caution and common sense. I also do not support Victim Blaming (it was YOUR CHOICE) or the Codependence theory either. Nor do I support diagnosing someone when you're not qualified to do so.