First and Foremost I want to thank ALL who used their Voice in support of me Not being all the things that CZ is FALSELY accusing me of right now. Thank You for having Courage, Honor, and Integrity. Thank You for Trusting what you have Yourself Experienced with me, instead of the Lies you are hearing about me. Thank you for saying my Voice mattered to You, and that it greatly helped You (at the very best) and didn't offend you (at the least), and was needed to be heard at WoN. It takes Enormous Bravery to let Your Voice be heard when it is Not Popular, because there is the Overt, Covert, and Ambient Negative Ramifications that come from such a Brave Choice. I Highly Respect & Admire those who are concerned with doing the Right Thing, especially when it is Unpopular with the Leader of the Pack. Your Risk and Sacrifice has Not gone unnoticed. I noticed it, and was Deeply touched by it, not only by fellow Believers, but Non-Believers as well. You are & have risked much to keep me in a Positive Light. I DEEPLY appreciate what you have done and risked on my behalf and may GOD Greatly Bless you for that Gift you have given me. Believers, Different Believers, and Non-Believers have risked so very much for me, and I am so very thankful towards you. When the Voice you dare to disagree with goes against someone who has the perceived power to control your healing, and the access to your very needed Support Group, because let's face it, there are only few places that are filled with People who understand & know what we have experienced in the KoN, because they also have been there themselves -- to risk that in Any way is something I HIGHLY Admire, Respect, and Treasure.
Big Hugs of Gratitude & Love to each of You!
Due to recent Policy Changes which create the Atmosphere of any given Public or Communal Environment I can Not in Good Conscience recommend going to the Web of Narcissism (WoN) On-Line Support Group Forum. I want to make it Abundantly Clear that it has absolutely Nothing to do with the Amazing Members & Friends I met there, and is the result of CZ's (WoN's Creator) Sudden Change, thus her Forum has Changed, and Not for the better, but for the Worse.
Due to CZ's New Rule of Banning All Religious Expression, or reference to God, the Spiritual Voice at WoN has now become Silenced. I had fear that this would happen some day. I was Publicly assured by CZ on MORE than one occasion, AND verifiable in a Thread I created at WoN called Fear of being Me. I thought this Fear came from my Experience with the Narcissist in Sheep's Clothing from the Buyer Beware Unsafe Forum, but due to recent events I now see it had to do with much MORE than just that. I thought it had to due with the Momster's KoN, but due to recent events, in addition to the insight of others who know CZ, I Now see & understand it had to do with much MORE than just that as well. I beat myself up for Fearing to be Me at WoN. I thought at the time I made that Post that I was being a Paranoid Fool, and that there was no grounds for having this Fear. This Fear or Worry seemed so illogical & irrational, because at the time (and for over a year) I was encouraged by CZ to be Me and Speak in My Unique Voice which Everyone and Anyone who reads what I write knows that is a Spiritual Voice. I have Always spoken in my Spiritual/Christian Voice, and it has Always been present for over a year now. My Voice has Not Changed, but CZs has. Her Voice use to be about Inclusion not Exclusion, about Acceptance & Tolerance not Intolerance & Discrimination. I use to Highly Admire & Value her Voice and the Heart and Mind that it represented, but because Her Voice has changed demonstrating that her Heart & Mind has also changed I am shocked, hurt, confused, disappointed, angry, repulsed and disgusted by what is Now coming out of a Voice that was once Honorable & Righteous, because it was filled with Understanding & Love, or maybe I was deceived partly due to my own Projection and ignored some Red Flags. I didn't want to see the Red Flags, because I have been through this before, or at least something too close to this, and did not want it to happen again. CZ's covert attack was "not as bad" as what happened with me and Danu -- yet, but staying at a place that is "not as bad" is not good for me or anyone else. I am not going to stick around to wait for things to get worse. I know what it is to settle for "not as bad" and that isn't any good. I am not going to be in a place where My Voice is Silenced.
CZ and I have discussed the importance of allowing each Person to speak in his/her Unique Voice in order to facilitate & nurture the Healing Process. Since the Spiritual or Religious Voice has been Silenced due to Censorship, Healing at WoN will be hindered at the very least. Where healing is hindered I believe it is actually being prevented which creates a Ceiling Effect, because what one thinks is possible can not be achieved. It is so very Essential for People in Healing to speak from their Own Unique Voice.
Due to the insight that has been gained from a Former WoN Members, I do believe that a Conscious Fully Aware, Deliberate, Smear Campaign was created in order to Victim Blame and deflect CZ's Obvious Change. CZ and I greatly differ on Unconscious Ego Defenses. I do not support that Theory due to Lack of Evidence which I explain in Conscious or Unconscious Attacks/Abuse I do believe that when we hurt someone we are not in that very second or instant Always Fully Aware or Conscious of hurting someone, or is that my own Projection and Ego Defense talking? Seriously I can consider that in a specific given instant which is not prolonged over time (hours, days, weeks, months, years) the attack can be unconscious. How CZ has chosen to treat me as she says was "thought out", because she gave it "careful consideration". Her two recent emails to me were thought out & deliberate. Lies have been said by CZ and are most likely continuing to go on at one degree or another against me in order to justify her changed or finally revealed attitude towards me. She is doing her very best or should I say worst to Victim Blame in order to deflect from HER Obvious Change.
Many WoN Members share my feelings of being shocked, confused, hurt, disappointed, and angry to one degree or another. Some have let their Voice, Feelings, and Thoughts be heard and some have remained silent due to negative Repercussions & Consequences even in a covert and ambient way as in their Posts being ignored to being treated with less compassion, encouragement & validation. Everyone wants to be treated as Equals, and we all know that willNot happen, or a Great Possibility of that Not happening if you Support, Agree or Validate Letting Go (which was my Member Name at WoN). There is a Direct Correlation between the Level or Amount of Public Support one is willing to give to the Underdog or Scapegoat as to not have harsh, negative or indifferent replies to their Public Posts. No one wants to have what they say, no matter how valid, to be held against them not even in an Ambient (undetectable tomost) Way. It did happen to me at WoN. When I first arrived at WoN, CZ was compassionate, supporting, validating, etc, but that level did significantly decrease at a Ambient Level. I approached CZ and asked, Did I do something wrong? Wondering why is she ignoring my Posts? Am I just being too sensitive or too needy? And she said, because she concentrates on those who need her, the Newbies, the younger kids (which is understandable), and said she realized that she does need to remember to not ignore or neglect the "older kids". I told her that the older kids still need her. She has Not completely ignored all my Posts (and as we know Posts represent Self on a Forum), but there was an Ambient Lack of Equality that she gives to others who closer share her views. There was Favoritism which was Ambient (undetectable tomost). Sometimes she really did seem to validate what I was saying, but you might begin to notice that she does respond more compassionately to those closer to her way of thinking. Some say this in Natural, thus Acceptable. I disagree. I Accept, Respect, and Love everyone equally regardless if they share my same beliefs, and I give them equal if not more of my time, because different perspectives are interesting.
So what is a Remaining WoN Member to do? What are you to do when you are left with all of this confusion due to two very conflicting Perceptions of Reality? What I recommend to my Family, Friends, and Clients is to Take the Scientific Approach. Try to distance yourself and let go of all preconceived ideas about the two different Realities or People. Reserve Judgement. Do Not be compelled to make an immediate decision. Tell Self you are in a Process of Data Collecting. Our Natural tendency is to Collect Data with a biased opinion in order to support the conclusion we want, the Reality we want, and we need to keep reminding Self to Reserve Judgement. Reserve Judgement. and Reserve Judgement. Our Natural Tendency to search, collect, or accept Data or Information that supports the Reality that we favor is calledConfirmation Bias, and trained Researchers & Professionals such as Scientists, Counselors & Therapists make this very easy mistake, and that is one reason the N can N-chant even very experienced Professionals, their bias is that the N is not a N, because they know if the N were a N (a Mid to High Level N) their treatment/counseling/therapy will not be effective, thus making their goal unachievable, and that is hard for even a Trained Professional's Ego to take, because we are all Human and we want to achieve our goals of helping our Client.
First Question to ask in regards to what is happening between CZ and myself as well as in any relationship, Whose Behavior has Changed? Who is not who s/he Used to be? It is important to think about Cause and Effect. If our Behavior has changed, Is it in reaction to the N? My Posts regarding CZ's behavior change towards me and ALL Believers at WoN was greatly effective, but what caused that to happen?
As I mentioned before, it is CZ's New Rule of Censorship and Silencing the Voice of ALL Believers. I do not support Censoring or Silencing Any One's Voice, and CZ is doing her very best to justify something that is Very Wrong. She says that just being a Christian or simply encouraging People by saying God loves you and has great plans for you and His plans does not include abuse is offensive, hurtful, divisive, etc. I know what it is like to be too easily offended by a statement of Love -- been there.
Due to all the abuse I suffered as a Child I once thought There is No God, if there is a God she or he does not care about me to allow this abuse to happen to me. As I have said I have suffered & endured ALL types & kinds of Abuse this World inflicts upon a Person. Having been there I can say in Good Conscience and without any bias that Someone telling us that God loves them is Not a mean and cruel thing due to the intent in the words. The intent is to Love us, not hurt us.
The Problem of being too easily offended by someone sharing Love with us is not their Problem or Issue, but ours that we need to work through as someone who has been hurt, abused, and is left damaged. It has been said to me that what if I don't believe in your God or even hate your God, Now do you see what you said as being hurtful? No. Because the intent was not to hurt, but to help. I can not control if someone is hurt or offended by an Expression of Love. What if someone said to me, Budda Loves you Letting Go, I would reply, Thank You & Jesus Loves you. I can except anyone's Expression of Love, because I know it was not intended to harm me. CZ knew that an Equal Comparison of a Different Believer expressing her Love or ideas would not hurt me, so she thinks of the Worst comparison she can to "prove her point" that what someone can say can hurt you. Therefore she compares my Nature, Passion, and "who" I am to a Person who believes the devil being in him is "who" he is. Some Members want to deny that CZ was not comparing me only by beliefs, but if you can look w/an unbiased eye you will see that what I told CZ that being a Christian is not what I believe in but "who" I am, so she was in fact comparing Me by making in her statement the Demon Possessed Person is "who" he is and because of that should be allowed to express "who" he is at WoN -- "What is a forum Manager to do?" I believe was the question. And I replied my 4yr old has Discernment and can identify Good from Evil, an adult should be able to do the same. Comparing "who" I am as a Christian to "who" the Devil Possessed Person is like comparing a Slave Master's viewpoints, desires, who he is to the Slave, or the Rapist or Murder to the Victim. The devil, the source of evil, is our enemy, so that was not an equal comparison in order to get her point across, it did LACK Empathy & Compassion as well as Wisdom. Some Members say that CZ's hurtful comparison is justifiable "to prove her point" which she can not, because as I mentioned above only an Equal Comparison is Logical. CZ's is trying to say, don't hold me accountable and responsible for what I said, because I was trying to prove a point by offending or hurting you, the Ends justify the Means -- however her comparison Lacks Validity & is totally illogical. I pray it does not take a background in Research to accept my point is valid and to notice that she is Justifying Purposely hurting someone to "try and prove her point" -- HUGE RED FLAG!
CZ claims that her offering to help me start my own Forum where I can be more comfortable or free to express who I am, etc and not offend others was to be taken as a kind solution. She wants people to believe that it was a form of compassion when it was about Segregation. How can I support such a claim? Keep reading.
* It was recently brought to my attention that I forgot to add this Very Important Part when I originally wrote this Article. After CZ offered her Solution to help me create another Forum for All Believers and declined her offer, I recommended that CZ created a place at WoN to that All Believers could talk about Narcissism from a Spiritual Perspective. Create a Sub-Forum on her Forum like she has with the Writing A Wrong sub-Forum. This way WoN Members have a place to freely talk about their experience in their Unique Voice. Those who want to hear or participate in a Spiritual Perspective on Nism could participate and those who don't want to can avoid the Spiritual Perspective Forum. CZ said she was Not going to do that. If she really cared about ALL of the WoN Members she would do her very best to provide a Place on her Forum where they could CONTINUE to speak in their own Unique Voice. This Clearly Proves CZ intends to Silence the Voice of ALL Believers.
As I told CZ I have neither the desire, skills, or time in order to create and maintain a Safe Forum. In order to save face she wants me and others to believe that she is offering me The Golden Apple, being a fairy God-Mother and making my Dream come true. However, her offer is not a Golden Apple, but rather a Shiny Carrot in order to get me to leave WoN without saying a word and holding her accountable and responsible forHow she is Completely Changing the Environment & Atmosphere at WoN due to herCensorship, Silencing All Believers, Creating a One-Way Tolerance for others and an Intolerance against Believers, thus also creating Discrimination and Religious Persecution. Not to mention the covert attempt at Character Defamation or Character Assassination throughFalse Accusations (aka Lies) that I violated confidentiality. Her attacks are aimed at me being both a Christian and a Professional Counselor in which I HIGHLY value and protect a Person's confidentiality. I know what it is like to be personally violated, so for CZ to Falsely Accuse me of doing something I did Not do (CZ is Fully aware that what she is saying are Lies) is very deceptive, insidious, pathological & cruel.
As a WoN Member it is up to you to ask yourself w/out any Bias is there Now Censorship at WoN? And if this fact is true, then all that follows is also painfully true no matter how much we don't want to believe it is so. Some People believe since they are not being Censored, then no one else is. If you Self-Censor for what ever reason that is Your Choice that was not forced upon you.
Golden Apple or Shiny Carrot? How do I know for sure and beyond a shadow of a doubt that it was a Shiny Carrot in order to get me to leave w/out holding CZ accountable & responsible? Because it was Not made all by itself. It did Not stand alone as a Loving, Kind, Thoughtful, Considerate, Empathetic Gesture. It came with False Accusations (Lies), saying that I had violated my fellow WoN Members & Friends trust, safety, security, confidentiality, etc which is hurtful because it is False and Slanderous. CZ said I am doing something horrible by Cross-Posting which she has ALWAYS SUPPORTED and has been FULLY AWARE OF since I joined WoN. She FULLY Supported, Validated it and Encouraged me linking my Blog back to WoN. She is at the time of writing this Post a Follower of my Blog.
And I found another Article/Post that I have on my Blog that links back to WoN and proves CZ was Fully Aware, Click Here.
Another HUGE Red Flag.
I have recently read CZ's Post on What is Cross-Posting? This seems like a Smear Campaign to me as well as others who have been contacting me saying how confused, shocked, hurt, and disappointed they are at CZ's Sudden Behavioral Change. I HIGHLY value the Wisdom from other Members on WoN (their shared Wisdom are Gems to me that I Treasure) and when A Member who I have formed a Friendship with has said something that pertains to a Topic I have written about I ALWAYS ask them permission FIRST before I quote their statement on my Blog using their WoN Screen Name as to Maintain Confidentiality & Protect their Identity even when I know their Real Name. I am a Professional Counselor and I know the Importance of Not violating Anyone's Confidentiality.