Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Ns on TV (part 1)

Sunday Night's show of Brother's & Sisters episode, Rhapsody of the Flesh, took on the topic of N. This show demonstrated that a Ns level of pathology can be very deceptive, until a person has all the info. Ns can be very Charismatic & N-chanting. Even the Momster had the ability to N-chant, until her mask started to slip.One of the characters named Luc had his Mom give him a "Surprise Visit", yet Luc was not thrilled in the least. As the story line develops we find out just why; his Mom by the writers point of view is "a Classic N". His NM definitely had boundary issues, Narcissistic and Histrionic Traits.
Histrionic personality disorder (HPD) is defined by the American Psychiatric Association as a personality disorder characterized by a pattern of excessive emotionality and attention-seeking, including an excessive need for approval and inappropriate seductiveness, usually beginning in early adulthood. These individuals are lively, dramatic, enthusiastic, and flirtatious.
They may be inappropriately sexually provocative, express strong emotions with an impressionistic style, and be easily influenced by others. Associated features may include egocentrism, self-indulgence, continuous longing for appreciation, feelings that are easily hurt, and persistent manipulative behavior to achieve their own needs.

The writers portrayed this NM as a person who is "the Life of the Party" and did a great job in showing how others can be easily taken in & N-chanted by Ns. Luc's NM is very attractive, exotic, energetic, extremely friendly, engaging, and fascinated by each person's life. She makes each person she interacts w/feel important & special. The Men are sexually attracted to her and the Women long to be like her. She has the ability to elicit strong emotions in people & that is very intriguing & invigorating. Luc's NM expresses to all those who will give her an audience her pain of being rejected by her only Son. The viewer is left feeling empathy for a kind & friendly Person who deeply longs to have a relationship w/her Son & he doesn't want anything to do with her. As w/all Ns there is more to the story. Luc's fiance Sara longs to get to know Luc's Mom, her future MIL, but he insists that his NM is not apart of his life and he wants to keep it that way. Sara is very confused & pleads w/him to disclose the reason for his anger toward his Mother and the truth finally comes out.

Luc's NM abandoned him & his father not once, but at least
twice. She not only left her Marriage, but she left her Son for another Man. She did not have contact w/Luc or his Father, until her relationship w/the other Man failed, then she came back to her Husband & Child. Luc did not want to Trust her or Forgive her, but his Dad loved his Wife and desperately wanted to work things out. To give their Family another chance at Happiness. Then just when Luc started trusting his NM, she leaves her Family once again for another Man and once again NC from her, until that relationship failed as well. Luc said that his Father spent his entire life trying to make her happy. As Luc tells his story we see the NM's True Identity being revealed. How she is so self-absorbed that she has no empathy for her child and betrays & abandons him not once, but twice. Luc shows how you never out grow the need for a Mother's love and how that rejection lasts a life time. The only issue I had with this episode was that it had a typical Hollywood ending when Sara tells Luc, "You didn't have the Mom you wanted, so now you have to decide do you want the Mom you have? That is the Life Changing question those of us w/NMs must ask ourselves. The problem I had was that Luc & his Mother had one very heated dramatic interaction, w/yelling & dishes & cups being thrown to the floor and against the wall. Then the Kitchen door swings open, (cue the adorable angelic harp playing Cherubims, send in the beautiful fluttering butterflies, and drop the spectacular Rainbow) for a Happily Ever After Hollywood Ending. Those of us who grew up in the KoN know that it is a place of Making Believing Everything is Okay when it is definitely is not.

There are two main reason I despise the
Ending of this episode, Rhapsody of the Flesh. (1) It is not realistic at all. (2) It is typical & lacks creativity. (3) It demonstrates & perpetuates Cheap Forgiveness (Forgiveness w/out the requirement of Remorse & Repentance). Luc's NM was not held accountable or responsible for what she did to Luc or Luc's Father. She did not show Authentic Remorse for what she had done to Luc. Sure she said the 3 magic words, "I am sorry" and the tears did flow, but her pain was not for the pain she caused her Son & her Son's Father, but rather pain of being rejected by her Son. Now that is a Classic N! They are not truly sorry for what they have done, only for the consequence they now have to face due to their hurtful choices towards others.

I would have enjoyed seeing Luc get in touch w/his anger towards his NM and let it out. For example he could have said, "How does it feel to be rejected?" And express how he felt as a child when his own Mother rejected him, D&D him not once, but twice and was never there for him even in his adult years. It would have been great if the writers resisted Fixing a Relationship in Less-Than 5 minutes and took the time to develop this story line into follow-up episodes showing how it takes hard work to heal a toxic dysfunctional relationship. The writers could have taken this opportunity to show that the Abuse of Abandonment is just as devastating as if Luc's NM would have beaten him w/her fists. The writers could have explored the how The Effects of Abandonment leaves the child feeling Lesser-Than and unworthy of love, etc. I would have loved it if Luc's NM would have stopped focusing
just on her pain and got in touch w/her child's and felt his pain & had empathy for him and how she deeply hurt him. Now that would have been an Amazing Episode!

1 comment:

  1. I totally agree, I was like "what really?" How cliche. Otherwise, the beforehand was okay.