Friday, April 1, 2011

Don't Feed The Big White Elephant

Did you hear the Warnings Today?
According to Reports
It is now Illegal to house Big White Elephants and they must be Released Right Away!
Cities Across America. . . WOW! . . . Wait A Minute!. . .
Just in. . . Okay we have a Very Important Update!
Cities All over the World have been reporting
that there are Stampedes of Large White Elephants running down Main Street.
People are being advised to Avoid Any & All Contact.
These Heinous Creatures actually prey & feed upon Little Children.
Little Children must be kept Safe, because their very Lives are in Danger.
We must immediately Lock all our Doors and Keep these Creatures Out of our Homes.
No Matter how Friendly they Look, do NOT let them in because they will Destroy your Family.
These Creatures are causing Complete Chaos and Devastation every where they go.
The Big White Elephants are Not a Normal Breed.
These Creatures can not be Tamed.
Numerous Attempts have been made to domesticate these Creatures
and lives have been Greatly Damaged and even Destroyed in the process.
They are EXTREMELY Dangerous & Life Threatening.
They Enjoy Annihilating Everything and Everyone in their Path.
Authorities are Advising Everyone NOT to try and trap or confront these cunning Creatures.
Do Not try and hold on to them or tie them down.
And whatever you do. . .
Do Not Feed The Big White Elephants
Leave it to the Professionals to get rid of these Creatures.


(I wish I had a Picture to Place Right Here)

I am a person who strives for Progression not Perfection. So I wondered what was I doing a year ago? What did I write a year ago today? For those who are curious Click Here.


I think Today should be Officially Re-Named
Happy
No More Fool's Day

It never fully felt right to me to spend the entire Day, Scheming, Plotting, Teasing, and Deceiving People. I think April 1st, All Fools' Day, is a Narcissist's favorite Holiday. For Ns it is a Dream come True. It must be so Freeing for them. Like Children running wild in a Candy Store. A Free for all! Comlete Abandonment, No Restrictions, Nothing Holding Them Back. Just think about it, Ns get to spend the entire Day without their Mask hiding & concealing their True Identity and to make matters worse they even get Public Praise for their Deception, in fact the Greater the Deception the Greater the Roar of the Crowd.

Now just in case some People are questioning whether or not I have a Good Sense of Humor, orany Sense of Humor at all, I do appreciate those Well-Known Pranks that demonstrate how Common Sense is Extinct such as the Left-Handed Whoppers and the Taco Liberty Bell. I have also been known to watch a few Punked episodes. And of course the Social Experiments conducted by ABC on the TV show What Would You Do, do intrigue me purely for Scientfic Reasons -- yea right! Well, actually I do have a little Social Psychology Research Background. I guess one could debate that these ABC's Social Experiments conducted by John Quinones is aPrank with Purpose, the Ends Justify the Means, and one could easily say that is my biased perspective. However, I believe there needs to be a Healthy Balance between playing a Hoax and maintaining our Humanity.

A Hoax without Humanity is Horribly Insensitive and Cruel, such in the case where shock jocks Opie and Anthony back in 1998 reported that Boston Mayor Thomas Menino had been killed in a car accident. Menino happened to be on a flight at the time, lending credence to the Horrible Hoax as he could not be reached. Can you imagine the devastation and the overwhelming terror from the Mayor's Family Friends when they heard their Loved One had been killed in a car accident and could not get ahold of him? I see anything funny in causing People extreme Emotional Pain. The rumor spread quickly across the city, eventually causing News Stations to issue alerts denying the Horrible Hoax. The Shock Jocks were shortly fired thereafter, so I guess the Joke was on them. These Stupid Shock Jocks demonstrated that their own Empathy and Common Sense was Extinct. A Hoax without Humanity is Evil.

For Healthy Humoreous Hoaxs such as the 1957 Spaghetti Trees, Click Here.

For those of us born and raised in the KoN, we have spent our entire lives being conned by the Ns, so deception that causes devaluing & devastation is not something we value on this All Fools' Day or any other Day, so I will claim this Day as our Official No More Fools' Day. As you can see I am a Person who doesn't always go with the flow, and I enjoy reading about others who also Go Against the Current.

I am so blessed to be inspired by a Mighty Warrior Women of Worth who Dares to Swim Up Stream.

I just got finished reading a Blog Article by BashWorld, to read her Blog, Click Here.

In BashWorld's Article on If it ain't broke, don't fix it, she writes, " How many dysfunctional families utilize the aforementioned hidden message under the guise that everything is fine, so don't try to 'fix' things by changing the status quo, speaking out, ignoring the 'white elephant in the room'?

BashWorld's statement about "The Big White Elephant sitting smack dab in the middle of the room", is profound & very thought provoking. In a NFOO The Big White Elephant is Narcissism. As a Child the Ns force us to feed The Big White Elephant, and when we don't feedThe Big White Elephant exactly what IT wants that day and ITs likes and dislikes change from day to day, then we are attacked and deeply wounded by IT. And of course we are to blame forIT attacking us. IT is Never Responsible or held Accountable no matter how much Damage IT caused. As a Child we are taught that it is always our fault for not giving IT exactly what IT needs & wants in order to sustain IT and have IT grow stronger.

As Teenagers we decide that we are not going to feed IT and we are ridiculed & told we are Terrible & Crazy for neglecting to feed IT anymore. We are told that there is something seriously wrong with us for not wanting to feed IT, clean up after IT and nuture IT. When we visit other Healthy and Loving Families we notice that they don't have IT living with them. We think maybe they are just hiding IT somewhere, so we look for signs that IT is around, but there is none to be found. We eventually feel safe to ask about IT and explain that in our Nfamily we have IT, but our Friends show us how great Life is without IT.

As the Normal in the group we know the The Big White Elephant doesn't belong in the room, yet all the Ns & Enablers are feeding IT and watching IT grow year after Year after YEAR. We try to warn everyone to , don't you see IT getting LARGER and IT is taking over, but the Ns & the Enablers don't care, they just keep feeding IT. We try to get IT to leave before IT destroys our home, but IT doesn't want to leave, because IT has become accustomed to our Nfamily. It is a LARGE part of the Nfamily, IT is the CENTER part of our Nfamily, and IT becomes the MAIN part of our Nfamily. We try to Open the Door and let IT out, but each person in the Nfamily slams the door shut and accuses us of betraying the Nfamily, by trying to let IT out, let IT go, and get rid of IT for Good.

So what choice do we have? We can't fight IT, we can't avoid IT, and if we stay we will be the one designated to clean up all ITs Toxic Waste. We can decide, well ITs not so bad, get desensitized to the Toxic Waste, get use to the constant clean up after IT has dumped all over everyone, spend the rest of our lives cleaning up after IT, or we can leave until the Nfamily gets rid of IT themselves.

Most likily the Nfamily will not get rid of IT because they enjoy IT so much and see nothing wrong with IT. To them we are the only one in the Nfamily that as a problem with IT, therefore It becomes our Problem that we will not accept IT like everyone else. IT is disgusting and IT repulses us, but to them IT is beautiful. IT is Too Toxic & Contagious, so we can not stay or we will become like IT. Even a little bit like IT turns us into something who we were not meant to be. The only way to get Free from IT and to Protect Ourselves Completely from IT is to have No Contact with IT. Which means Letting Go of everyone who has contact with IT and has been contaminated by IT.

Change is not always easy, but it is Necessary, especially when IT is at the Core of the Nfamily controlling Everyone and the only choice available is to feed IT or get Dumped on by IT and Clean Up all the Toxic Waste. No matter how BIG of a Mess IT leaves behind, the Ns and the Enablers are in love with IT and will not get rid of IT.

So was Warning a Waste? Was it a Waste of Time to Warn Those about The Big White Elephant's Destructive Nature, and Opening the Door and trying to get IT to leave? No I don't think it was. Maybe Some Day one of the Enablers in the Nfamily will no longer be N-chanted by IT & get tired of feeding It and will remember everything we said about IT and everything we tried to do about IT. Perhaps s/he will Observe, Discover, or Hear how Wonderful our Life has become without IT. And then very soon that Family Member will also become "too sensitive" and get Disgusted and Repulsed by all the Neverending Stench of the constant Toxic Waste that IT keeps Dumping on Everyone, and then that Person will also decide to leave IT behind.

The Problem is the longer they stay around IT the more desentized they become to IT. Maybe No One else will leave from Our Generation, but someone from the Next Generation, someone not even born yet, will be "too sensitive" to the Toxic Waste, will not enjoy feeding IT, will wish that s/he could just get rid of IT, notice how Great their Friends Families are without IT, consider & imagine an alternative Life without IT and will learn that there was another Person in the Nfamily that did not like IT either, because she also was "too sensitive" to IT and Left. This Family Member will discover that s/he doesn't have to be forced to accept IT, suffer from IT or even endure IT anymore. There is Another Choice. There is Another Option. This Knowledge alone will bring Light & Hope into the Dark Filthy Toxic Waste Filled World that revolves around IT. The Person will think to him/herself, you mean someone else hated IT too and Escaped IT. This Family Member will search us out and will Discover how Great Life is when you
Don't Feed The Big White Elephant!


5 comments:

  1. Nice post. It's strange but you cannot warn people about an N - it's an experience you must live to realize.

    The Ns are very good at pretending everything is normal (even their abhorrent treatment of others) and appearing to be nice, pleasant, etc. - from the outside they do look fairly normal. From the inside, it's a different story, as you know.

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  2. I love how you expanded on this! Remember. . . No more peanuts for the Elephants - they can take their circus and leave!! ;)

    Your comment: "No matter how BIG of a Mess IT leaves behind, the Ns and the Enablers are in love with IT and will not get rid of IT." really resonates with me.
    I've also had to go NC with EF, NSis, and am having my doubts about my SGBro. My bro knows there are 'issues' but his response is usually, "It is what it is. At some point you'll have to let it go and go back to talking to them". I've explained enough that I cannot acknowledge/accept/make nice with the 'elephant' due to the dynamics in the family. No more can I accept that level of 'crazy'!

    God has a plan for us all - to glorify Him - and that cannot be done when the idoltry of appeasing the Narc must come first.

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  3. PWC you are right about trying to warn others about Ns. They just don't understand until they go through the D&D, the D&D has the power to bring Clarity to the KoN and the Ns at the center of it.

    I must say that after surviving the KoN when someone identifies and warns me about a N I do Heed their Warning and I don't stick around for the D&D. I don't stick around to feed those White Elephants because I know eventually they turn on ya and attack. I just thank the other Normal Person for his/her warning and avoid contact w/the identified N.

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  4. iTs amazing.. so many words that i just strangely started using to describe things/behaviours/happenings throughout marriage of 10+years to N [childrensfather]... chameleon was one. 'elephant in the room'.. & 'IT' was the name i gave his 'illness' to help him get better.. as to not judge but to aide in supporting him acknowledge & do work on fighting it..
    [it didnt work, 13+ years later.. im soon to qualify for divorce.. unfortunately trying to figure out how to parallel parent with him though while protecting my children from the covert lifedamaging traits they too are picking up & showing more of regularly]
    thanks for the article... it helps remind me i am not alone or imagining iT! :/

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  5. iTs amazing.. so many words that i just strangely used to describe things/behaviours/happenings throughout marriage of 10+years to N [childrensfather]...
    chameleon was one. 'elephant in the room'.. & 'IT' was the name i gave his 'illness' to help him get better.. as to not judge, but to aide in supporting him acknowledge & do work on fighting it..
    [it didnt work, 13+ years later.. im soon to qualify for divorce.. unfortunately trying to figure out how to parallel parent with him though while protecting my children from the covert lifechanging/society-damaging traits they too are picking up & showing more of regularly]

    thanks for the article... it helps remind me i am not alone or imagining iT! :/

    ReplyDelete