The Discovery

Yesterday I went to go pick up my Little Daughter from pre-K. I was a little early and her school time had not yet ended for the day. I pulled into the Parking Lot to the right hand side of the school and parked my car under the big oak trees. I turned off the car's engine, turned on the Radio, and reclined the seat back to get comfortable and relax for a short time. While I was sitting in the car in the school parking lot under a nice shady tree I was listening to Music. I glanced over to my left and two empty parking spots over, right there in the grass behind the school was a Large Rust Colored Commercial Dumpster. Out of no where this little bird adorned with dark crimson color flies down to the ground, and stands at the bottom of the Dumpster which is elevated only a few inches above ground by four small metal wheels.

It must have been that beautiful dark crimson color of the bird that caught my attention, and I watched to see what she would do next. This Little Bird stands just out side of the entrance, pauses only for a brief moment, doesn't waste any time at all, and without any hesitation or fear goes under the Dumpster into the Darkness where I can not see her anymore. No one would ever know that she went under the Dumpster, and into the Darkness. She is completely surrounded in Darkness, and anyone else who happened to walk on by would never know that she was under the Dumpster in complete Darkness.

I think to myself, What could possibly be of any value that this Brave Little Bird would go into the Darkness? What in the World was she hoping to find? The only thing available to her would be a very small piece of Garbage that others have thrown away & discarded. Surely this Beautiful & Brave Bird does not need to waste her time looking for Little Pieces of Filthy Decaying Garbage.

How could this Garbage be of any use, or be any good for the Beautiful Brave Bird? I found myself longing to warn the Beautiful Bird, STOP! Garbage has Nothing of Value, it will Not benefit you, just Stop and leave it alone, leave it be, don't pick it up, don't bother with it, it's just no good. Just fly away, let it be, and find something of Greater Substance.

The Lord told me that I am that Treasure He sought under the Dumpster. The Lord went into my Darkness, and took a Person who felt like Worthless Discarded Garbage, and told me that I am Not Garbage, but a Gem.

When we are under decaying Garbage, and living in Darkness that completely surrounds us, we can no longer see, and it obscures & conceals our identity. There is no point of reference in complete Darkness, and we get consumed by vast Nothingness. It takes Amazing Holy Love to bring us into the warm gentle Light of the Son to discover we are a Unique Treasure with much Value and Worth. Jesus went into the Darkness to recover & reclaim what was stolen, discarded, rejected, and abandoned.

Jesus paid the Ultimate Price, and took what the World said was Worthless and turned her into someone Priceless (the Lord is still working w/me to fully accept that and reminds me that He loves His Beautiful Daughter, me, even more than I love my Beautiful Daughter). There is no Price too High that God would not pay for each one of us to realize we are not Worthless Garbage, but the Lord's Unique Gem that He Treasures.

If you ever questioned, like I did, if God loves You or even how much does God loves You, or for a Wonderful Reminder, give yourself the Blessing of Watching The Passion of the Christ. Even if you have seen it before, or even if you have heard about how this Movie ends, I assure you that knowing the ending is definitely Not a Spoiler. If the Story of The Discovery has touched your heart, then watch The Passion of the Christ, because you owe it to yourself, and you are more than Worth It.

Do not get hung up on who directed the Movie, but enjoy the Movie because it demonstrates just how much You are Worth.

Don't Feed The Big White Elephant

Did you hear the Warnings Today?

According to Reports

It is now Illegal to house Big White Elephants and they must be Released Right Away!

Cities Across America. . . WOW! . . . Wait A Minute!. . .

Just in. . . Okay we have a Very Important Update!

Cities All over the World have been reporting

that there are Stampedes of Large White Elephants running down Main Street.

People are being advised to Avoid Any & All Contact.

These Heinous Creatures actually prey & feed upon Little Children.

Little Children must be kept Safe, because their very Lives are in Danger.

We must immediately Lock all our Doors and Keep these Creatures Out of our Homes.

No Matter how Friendly they Look, do NOT let them in because they will Destroy your Family.

These Creatures are causing Complete Chaos and Devastation every where they go.

The Big White Elephants are Not a Normal Breed.

These Creatures can not be Tamed.

Numerous Attempts have been made to domesticate these Creatures

and lives have been Greatly Damaged and even Destroyed in the process.

They are EXTREMELY Dangerous & Life Threatening.

They Enjoy Annihilating Everything and Everyone in their Path.

Authorities are Advising Everyone NOT to try and trap or confront these cunning Creatures.

Do Not try and hold on to them or tie them down.

And whatever you do. . .

Do Not Feed The Big White Elephants

Leave it to the Professionals to get rid of these Creatures.

(I wish I had a Picture to Place Right Here)

I am a person who strives for Progression not Perfection. So I wondered what was I doing a year ago? What did I write a year ago today? For those who are curious Click Here.

I think Today should be Officially Re-Named

Happy
No More Fool's Day

It never fully felt right to me to spend the entire Day, Scheming, Plotting, Teasing, and Deceiving People. I think April 1st, All Fools' Day, is a Narcissist's favorite Holiday. For Ns it is a Dream come True. It must be so Freeing for them. Like Children running wild in a Candy Store. A Free for all! Comlete Abandonment, No Restrictions, Nothing Holding Them Back. Just think about it, Ns get to spend the entire Day without their Mask hiding & concealing their True Identity and to make matters worse they even get Public Praise for their Deception, in fact the Greater the Deception the Greater the Roar of the Crowd.

Now just in case some People are questioning whether or not I have a Good Sense of Humor, orany Sense of Humor at all, I do appreciate those Well-Known Pranks that demonstrate how Common Sense is Extinct such as the Left-Handed Whoppers and the Taco Liberty Bell. I have also been known to watch a few Punked episodes. And of course the Social Experiments conducted by ABC on the TV show What Would You Do, do intrigue me purely for Scientfic Reasons -- yea right! Well, actually I do have a little Social Psychology Research Background. I guess one could debate that these ABC's Social Experiments conducted by John Quinones is aPrank with Purpose, the Ends Justify the Means, and one could easily say that is my biased perspective. However, I believe there needs to be a Healthy Balance between playing a Hoax and maintaining our Humanity.

A Hoax without Humanity is Horribly Insensitive and Cruel, such in the case where shock jocks Opie and Anthony back in 1998 reported that Boston Mayor Thomas Menino had been killed in a car accident. Menino happened to be on a flight at the time, lending credence to the Horrible Hoax as he could not be reached. Can you imagine the devastation and the overwhelming terror from the Mayor's Family Friends when they heard their Loved One had been killed in a car accident and could not get ahold of him? I see anything funny in causing People extreme Emotional Pain. The rumor spread quickly across the city, eventually causing News Stations to issue alerts denying the Horrible Hoax. The Shock Jocks were shortly fired thereafter, so I guess the Joke was on them. These Stupid Shock Jocks demonstrated that their own Empathy and Common Sense was Extinct. A Hoax without Humanity is Evil.

For Healthy Humoreous Hoaxs such as the 1957 Spaghetti Trees, Click Here.

For those of us born and raised in the KoN, we have spent our entire lives being conned by the Ns, so deception that causes devaluing & devastation is not something we value on this All Fools' Day or any other Day, so I will claim this Day as our Official No More Fools' Day. As you can see I am a Person who doesn't always go with the flow, and I enjoy reading about others who also Go Against the Current.

I am so blessed to be inspired by a Mighty Warrior Women of Worth who Dares to Swim Up Stream.

I just got finished reading a Blog Article by BashWorld, to read her Blog, Click Here.

In BashWorld's Article on If it ain't broke, don't fix it, she writes, " How many dysfunctional families utilize the aforementioned hidden message under the guise that everything is fine, so don't try to 'fix' things by changing the status quo, speaking out, ignoring the 'white elephant in the room'?

BashWorld's statement about "The Big White Elephant sitting smack dab in the middle of the room", is profound & very thought provoking. In a NFOO The Big White Elephant is Narcissism. As a Child the Ns force us to feed The Big White Elephant, and when we don't feedThe Big White Elephant exactly what IT wants that day and ITs likes and dislikes change from day to day, then we are attacked and deeply wounded by IT. And of course we are to blame forIT attacking us. IT is Never Responsible or held Accountable no matter how much Damage IT caused. As a Child we are taught that it is always our fault for not giving IT exactly what IT needs & wants in order to sustain IT and have IT grow stronger.

As Teenagers we decide that we are not going to feed IT and we are ridiculed & told we are Terrible & Crazy for neglecting to feed IT anymore. We are told that there is something seriously wrong with us for not wanting to feed IT, clean up after IT and nuture IT. When we visit other Healthy and Loving Families we notice that they don't have IT living with them. We think maybe they are just hiding IT somewhere, so we look for signs that IT is around, but there is none to be found. We eventually feel safe to ask about IT and explain that in our Nfamily we have IT, but our Friends show us how great Life is without IT.

As the Normal in the group we know the The Big White Elephant doesn't belong in the room, yet all the Ns & Enablers are feeding IT and watching IT grow year after Year after YEAR. We try to warn everyone to , don't you see IT getting LARGER and IT is taking over, but the Ns & the Enablers don't care, they just keep feeding IT. We try to get IT to leave before IT destroys our home, but IT doesn't want to leave, because IT has become accustomed to our Nfamily. It is a LARGE part of the Nfamily, IT is the CENTER part of our Nfamily, and IT becomes the MAIN part of our Nfamily. We try to Open the Door and let IT out, but each person in the Nfamily slams the door shut and accuses us of betraying the Nfamily, by trying to let IT out, let IT go, and get rid of IT for Good.

So what choice do we have? We can't fight IT, we can't avoid IT, and if we stay we will be the one designated to clean up all ITs Toxic Waste. We can decide, well ITs not so bad, get desensitized to the Toxic Waste, get use to the constant clean up after IT has dumped all over everyone, spend the rest of our lives cleaning up after IT, or we can leave until the Nfamily gets rid of IT themselves.

Most likily the Nfamily will not get rid of IT because they enjoy IT so much and see nothing wrong with IT. To them we are the only one in the Nfamily that as a problem with IT, therefore It becomes our Problem that we will not accept IT like everyone else. IT is disgusting and IT repulses us, but to them IT is beautiful. IT is Too Toxic & Contagious, so we can not stay or we will become like IT. Even a little bit like IT turns us into something who we were not meant to be. The only way to get Free from IT and to Protect Ourselves Completely from IT is to have No Contact with IT. Which means Letting Go of everyone who has contact with IT and has been contaminated by IT.

Change is not always easy, but it is Necessary, especially when IT is at the Core of the Nfamily controlling Everyone and the only choice available is to feed IT or get Dumped on by IT and Clean Up all the Toxic Waste. No matter how BIG of a Mess IT leaves behind, the Ns and the Enablers are in love with IT and will not get rid of IT.

So was Warning a Waste? Was it a Waste of Time to Warn Those about The Big White Elephant's Destructive Nature, and Opening the Door and trying to get IT to leave? No I don't think it was. Maybe Some Day one of the Enablers in the Nfamily will no longer be N-chanted by IT & get tired of feeding It and will remember everything we said about IT and everything we tried to do about IT. Perhaps s/he will Observe, Discover, or Hear how Wonderful our Life has become without IT. And then very soon that Family Member will also become "too sensitive" and get Disgusted and Repulsed by all the Neverending Stench of the constant Toxic Waste that IT keeps Dumping on Everyone, and then that Person will also decide to leave IT behind.

The Problem is the longer they stay around IT the more desentized they become to IT. Maybe No One else will leave from Our Generation, but someone from the Next Generation, someone not even born yet, will be "too sensitive" to the Toxic Waste, will not enjoy feeding IT, will wish that s/he could just get rid of IT, notice how Great their Friends Families are without IT, consider & imagine an alternative Life without IT and will learn that there was another Person in the Nfamily that did not like IT either, because she also was "too sensitive" to IT and Left. This Family Member will discover that s/he doesn't have to be forced to accept IT, suffer from IT or even endure IT anymore. There is Another Choice. There is Another Option. This Knowledge alone will bring Light & Hope into the Dark Filthy Toxic Waste Filled World that revolves around IT. The Person will think to him/herself, you mean someone else hated IT too and Escaped IT. This Family Member will search us out and will Discover how Great Life is when you

Don't Feed The Big White Elephant!

Ns are WORSE than Spoiled Rotten Children

Ns are far WORSE than Spoiled Rotten Children, but for illustration sake let's say that the N is a Spoiled Rotten Child who sees another Child (us) playing with a Beautiful Gift. The N observes how much the Other Child enjoys her Unique Gift, and asks his Parent if he can have that same Special Gift, but the Parent says No because you will never value it, or take care of it. The Child is very angry at the Parent for denying him this Awesome Gift, and when he sees the other Child enjoying her Gift he enveys what she has and he covets the Joy it brings her. These feelings make the N feel Lesser Than, because the other Child has something he can not, so What does he do? He damages the Gift to the point where the other Child no longer enjoys or wants her Gift and she throws it away.

The Child that just threw her Great Gift way has a very important decision to make. Does she continue to allow the N to damage her other Spectaular Gifts, or does she protect her other Gifts by keeping them safe and out of contact of the N? How many Unique Gifts will the N damage & destroy before the Child puts an end to it?

Now the N is happy that the Child no longer has what she once possessed because when she did posses that Amazing Gift, it was a constant reminder of what she had and he did not. The N sees the Child is lacking a Very Special Gift that he covets, so he leaves that Child to find another Child with the same Great Gift, and does what he did before, covets what he can not have and deceives the other Child to devalue what she has been given by her Loving Parent and to throw it away just like the previoius Child.

The previous Child is heartbroken & completely devastated that she no longer has her Unique Gifts, that her Loving Parent gave her. Some of her Unique Gifts are very damaged and some are destroyed. She is very ashamed to tell her Loving Parent what happened to her Wonderful Gifts that her Beloved, Kind and Thoughtful Parent gave her. She looks in different Places to find information on how to repair her Gifts, and the People she meets tell her how to fix her Gifts. She returns Home and tries her best to fix her Gifts and to restore them to how they use to be, but the Child remembers how her Gifts use to be when they were Bran New, before they were damaged and destroyed, and worst of all, how the N even deceived her into throwing away her very own Unique Gifts.

She is in so much Pain at the loss of her Unique Gifts. She cries out in despiration to her Parent and the Moment she turns around and looks for her Parent she notices that her Loving Parent is right by her side and her Loving Parent has replaced ALL her Precious Gifts that were once damaged, destroyed, and thrown away. And to her complete Astonishment and Amazement she notices New Gifts that she never had before. As soon as the Child Starts using her Replaced Gifts she realizes that something is Very different about her Gifts; they are even MOREExtraordinary than before.

She is very confused. This does not make any sense to her and she asks her Parent, Why have you given me even Greater Gifts than before? And why did you give me these Awesome NewGifts that I never had before? Why when I did not take care of my First Gifts, that you would give me Greater Gifts than before and even More New Additional Gifts?

And her Loving Parent replies, My Beautiful Child you now know just how valuable your Gifts are and now you are Stronger then before and now you know better how to Protect them, and never let anyone, devalue, damage, or destroy them or deceive you into throwing them away. As for those New Additional Gifts, they were always there, you always possessed them, but they were hidden in the Dark Shadows and I just brought them out into the Light, so that you can use them Now.

One of your Greater Gifts is Discernment and You know who you can share your other Unique Gifts with and who you can not. If someone comes along and damages your Gifts, you know you can walk away before s/he destroys your Gifts. And if your Gifts ever get damaged you know you can come to Me and I will restore them for you. I Love You and that is why I gave You these Precious Gifts. You are My Daughter, in whom I am well Pleased. I would do ANYTHING for you. I will Always Love You. There is Nothing you can or will ever do that can stop or prevent Me from Loving You.

I was this Child whose Unique Gifts were Damaged and Destroyed by various Ns, and the NFOO even deceived me into Discarding some of my own Awesome Gifts because they saw no Value in them. However, there is Hope, our Unique Gifts can be Restored and in the Process we will be Given Even Greater Gifts than Before, Amazing Gifts we never even knew we had before.

Here is another one of those Great Gifts, Click Here.

Expecting Love Not Dysfunction

Happy St. Patricks Day!

This article was inspired by my Darling Husband (DH), who if I haven't told you lately Love, you are an Amazing Husband and Daddy, and our Darling Daughter (DD) and I are Very Blessed to have you in our lives.

In regards to Toxic People and relationships we primarly talk about Toxic and Counterfeit Love, so I thought some might enjoy reading & talking about the difference between Toxic & Counterfeit Love and Healthy & Authentic Love.

My DH has to get up a little before my DD and myself to get ready for work and then leave for work. Right before he leaves for work he Kisses our Little Daughter, and tells her to wake up. As with little Children they resist waking up, and need A Lot of Encouragement. After she rubs & wipes the Morning Sleep from her eyes they instanteouly Light Up when she looks at her Daddy, and her Daddy just beams w/Joy back at her. The very first thing she sees in the Morning is Love looking back at her. Her Daddy tells her that he loves her and says, I hope you have a Great Day Today. They give each other another Kiss and Hug Good-Bye. Then he Kisses and Hugs me Good-Bye, and we each tell one another that I hope you have a Great Day too and I will miss ya very Very VERY much until I see you again.

My DD and I get ready, I finish putting on my War Paint (make-up), brush and fix my hair and pull it back in that Mommy Ponytail style, because my hair is naturally wild and needs a bit of taming in the morning. Once my DD and I are Ready, we have a Morning Ritual (IF she is ready on time) I pick her up and carry her down stairs. This is a Motivation for her to Stay Focused on getting ready in the Morning and not waste her time.

For those that have their own Rituals, especially Spiritual Rituals, have you ever wondered about the importance or the Purpose of the Ritual? Rituals are to Support the Relationship, as in the Morning Ritual my DD and I share. The Ritual adds to the Relationship, but it is not in any way designed to Replace the Intimate & Close Relationship.

Back to our Morning Ritual, I carry my DD downstairs and at the foot of the stairs my DD shouts out with Excitement, Look what Daddy did!

In the formal dinningroom on the floor (DD's playroom) there spelled out in Bright Yellow, Green, Red and Orange Sunbrust Building Pieces are Three Large Symbols. My DD and I walk over to the very large letters and she says with unreserved Extreme Joy, Look Daddy left me a Message! I asked her can you read the Message? Do you know what the Message says? She says with Extreme Enthusiasm and Confidence, Yes! She points to each Large Symbol, and she says the Daddy's Message to us is, I LOVE YOU! For the word Love my DH & Loving Daddy to our Daughter used the Open Heart Symbol to represent His Love. It was AMAZING to see a Little 4yr old Girl recognize that the Open Heart Symbol means Love. I have never taught her to write a Heart to symbolize Love. We always write out the word Love, so that she can practice her Spelling and Writing. So how did she know to recognize that the Heart Symbol meant Love when she was never taught that Symbolizim & Translation?

My DD was so Thrilled about her Daddy leaving her that HUGE I LOVE YOU Message. It is all she could talk about all morning long. It had a Huge Memorable Positive effect on her Morning. It was the same Joy she gets on Christmas Morning, hopping & skipping, and beaming with Joy from head to toe. As we were heading out the door, so I could take her to school, She told me, Mommy don't put away Daddy's Message. She was respectully adamant, Will you keep it right here, don't move it so I can see it when I come Home? I told her that I would keep it safe. She was over Joyed and could not wait to tell her Teacher and Friends at School about the Morning Love Message her Daddy left for her to Discover.

When I picked her up from School, after she hugged and kissed me, and got her backpack and jacket, and buckled up in the car, as we were heading home she asked me, Mommy is my Daddy's Message still there? Yes, Honey, Daddy's Message is still there and you will see it as soon as we get home. My DD shouts out, Then go Faster Mommy! I want to get home very Fast. I told her that we have got to go at just the right speed, and we will get there soon enough.

My DD was filled w/Excitement and Anticipation and could not wait to unbuckle her car seat restraints and run as fast as she could to the front door. I unlocked the front door for her, and let her open the door up for herself, and she screamed w/Excitement, Daddy's Message is Still there! As if maybe there was a tiny bit of doubt that her Daddy's Message would not be there when she got home. I explained to her that even when you were away and could not see Daddy's Message it stayed here in your home. It did not move & it did not go away.

All Day long and into the night my DD kept her Daddy's Message in tact. She added her own little part to it, but her Origninal Daddy's Message was not touched.

It still says what it was designed to say to her, I Love You. My DD asked her Daddy, Please Daddy don't take your Message Away, I want you to keep it there for me, I want to see it when I wake up in the Morning. Her Daddy said, I wont take away the Message I made for you that says I Love You it will stay there as long as You want. Her Daddy's Message of Love stayed contant throughout the Night.

This Morning I asked my DD, What did her own Message that she added right next to her Daddy's Message say? And she said with joy, It says Happy Valentines Day, and then she got sad and said, but I think it's too late. Realizing that Valentine's Day had come and gone, She said w/dissappointment, I think my Message is too late. I asked her do you know what Happy Valentines Day means, and she said Yes! It means I Love You. When we love someone we send them Valentines. So your Message is Another Way of telling someone you Love them, just like Daddy's Message, and she shouted with Joy, Yeah I have a Very Great Message too! Yes, Honey your message is Very Great Too, and Daddy is going to Love to see it.

The very next Morning, this Morning DD wakes up, and asks her Daddy, Are you going to leave me another Message? She litterally woke up Expecting another Message of Love. This is such a Stark Contrast to how I expected things & people to be in the Kingdom of Narcissism (KoN) that I was born and raised in. My DD's World and mine as a Child are Worlds apart. I was born and raised in the KoN, where Abuse was Normal, a regular occurance, and every morning I woke up expecting dysfuntion and abuse. In the morning I woke up expecting another Toxic Message of how I was Lesser Than, a Burden rather than a Blessing, and not Loved by my Parent. My Child lives in the LOL (Land of Love with Lots of Love). She wakes up every Morning Secure and Safe, and with the Calm Confidence & Peaceful Reassurance that her Mommy & Daddy will have a Message of Love for her. Both my Daughter's and my own Childhood have the Spirit of Expecting, but what we expected to receive from our Parents are Complete Opposites.

What are YOU Expecting to Receive Today from the People You Love?

Do they Love you in return, or do they give you Dysfunction, Abuse, Hurt & Pain?

I wish I had the tech. skills to add my DD's Love Message from her Daddy. Maybe my DH can figure it out for me. (as you can see the help of my Loving Husband &a Dear Friend I am now able to do something I couldn't do before).

PS My DH's said that his Love Message was for both his Beloved Wife and DD.

The Alluring Dress of Denial or Shopping for Truth

The Alluring Dress

In the Alluring Dress Shopping for Truth

Dress of Denial

It is so hard trying to figure out what the right choice is

Can't decide on the title?

Leave a Comment and place your vote!

Inspired by my Friend Overwhelmed and Dedicated to all the Warrior Women of Worth, who like me, have struggled trying to figure out the Right Choice when the Truth was so very hard & impossible to find in the KoN.

Speaking of Despirately Dancing with the Disordered, you know how when two people are dancing and it is very intense and the Partner has a firm grip, tightly holding the other person's hand and body and he never once breaks contact and does that very dramatic Push & Pull, repeatedly over and over again, forceably Pushing the Partner away and Pulling her back again, yet never letting his Partner go & breaking contact. It is like that feeling you have after you decide to stop Despirately Dance with the Disordered, there is that I hate the dance, I miss the dance, I want the dance, okay just one more dance, I hate the dance, I am never going to dance again. I hate being with N and I hate being without N, okay just one more time w/N, I am never going to be with N again. That is the Aftermath or Adversive Side Effects of the Intermittant Abuse & Toxic Love. It is the Painful Withdraws and Detoxing from the Illusion of N and his/her KoN.

When we assess the overall relationship & Dance with the N it is Good & Bad, Great & kind of Bad, Sort of Good & Horrible, Kind of Good and Horrendous, etc., various, conflicting, and confusing Perceptions of Reality. In the KoN the Disordered Dance is surrounded by FOG (Fear Obligation Guilt), and lit by Gaslighting, and usually without us knowing it we are no longer in Truth but wearing a Dress of Denial, so that we become desensitized to the Abuse and think, "it's not that bad" when the Truth is it is "bad enough". 


The Absence of Abuse, is not the presence of Love, it is only the absence of abuse. Love that contains abuse is not Authentic Love, it is Counterfeit Love, or Contaminated Love. It is an Illusion of what we want, need, and long for, and the reason we can not achieve it and maintain it with an N is because it does not exist. 


The N doesn't really love us, only loves what s/he can get out of us. Even when they "do the right thing" or "do a good thing" it is always for the wrong reasons. It is always what they can get out of it. 


Will the N ever give till it hurts? No. Ns will never give away something that is not replaceable to them. It is only until we completely leave the KoN that things begin to become clear.

When we stop wearing that Alluring Dress of Denial, no matter how good we think we look in it while we are in the KoN, we are ready to Discover the Truth.


Once we step out of the dark deception of the KoN, and into enlightenment we see the Dress of Denial is not at all attractive, much like the N who bought it for us. The N and all his/her Enablers keep telling us that the Dress of Denial looks Beautiful, was made just for us, and after all the N and the Enablers went though all this trouble finding it for us. Of course if we get tired of wearing the same old Dress of Denial, there are a lot more we can choose from, and try on until we find another that we like.

Then a very Loving Friend comes along and encourages us to try on a New Outfit called Truth which is available in the Shop called Reality, and the Great News is that it comes in Everyone's size. The only thing we need to do is look for it, and try it on. 


Sure at first it might seem a little uncomfortable, somewhat restricting, and we might be tempted to put on the Dress of Denial, but just wait a bit, it truly will get better. Change takes a bit to get use to. 


At first the image of us in Truth might not look that good, very different from what we have become accustomed & use to wearing. We have doubts that we look good in Truth, but our Friend encourages us to keep it on, that it takes a little time to get use to what we are seeing ourself in, but go head and take another look. 


When we take a good long, and honest look in the Mirror we enjoy what is being reflected back to us. We ask our Friend who is experienced in wearing Truth, just how much is this Truth going to cost me? Our Friend replies, it depends on how much ya got. No matter the Cost it must be a Price you are willing to pay.

Just when you have made up your mind to keep on Truth, the Sales Lady says, I have a New Dress of Denial, that just arrived today, it is gorgeous, and it is just your size; it is a whole lot cheaper than Truth. Would you like to try it on? 


You look at your Friend, and she shakes her head and you agree, and tell the Sales Lady, that is a very tempting offer, but I am going to take home Truth.


The Sales Lady asks, Would you like to put back on the Dress of Denial that you came in wearing, and have me pack up the Truth for you? No Way! I like the way Truth looks on me and I'm going to keep it on. 


The Sales Lady says, okay I will pack up the Dress of Denial, so you can take it back home with you, and put it back on when you want to. As you head home you say, No I don't need that Dress of Denial, it no longer suits me.

Special side note to my Friend Overwhelmed. In case you don't know, or have forgotten, or haven't bee told recently, I just want to let you know that you are a GREAT INSPIRATION! You truly are to me, and the other Warrior Women of Worth.

When a Comment is not posted

To those who Comments are not posted, and anyone else who is interested, I will quote one of my fav. bloggers Anna from Narcissists Suck, in that it is not my job to explain the obvious.

This Post is really not for the benefit of others (those whose Comments were not posted) as much as it is for myself in that I could use a little or after reading this Post a lot of venting. Venting in a healthy way is Good for the Soul. It helps me to reevaluate my Boundaries from time to time and give them an upgrade where needed in order to Strengthen them so that they can do a more effective job at Protecting Self. It is Self-Care Management and Maintenance.

I am aware that some things in life are more obvious to some People than to Others, so I will explain the various reasons why certain Comments are not posted on my Blog. I will only do this once. Therefore, if anyone happens to question why his/her certain Comment was not posted I can refer them to this post which lists all the reasons. If the person can not figure out why his/her Comment was not posted then s/he never will and I don't need to waste my time explaining the obvious to those who are just Trolling for NS.

Most Comments that have not been posted are in regards to the NVamp in Sheep's Clothing, and were from one of her Enabling Henchwomen, or Myrmidonian Minions, or N-chanted & Deceived Followers, so I will address this and then the other types of Comments that are not posted.

For those who say I am a N because I dare to expose a N and question my Mental Health, like all former Victims/Targets of Ns I did question whether or not I would become a N or P like the Momster and Demon Dad and other Ns & Ps I have N-countered in my Life. I could extend the paragraph with greater detail explaining how I am not a N, but I feel uncomfortable talking about myself so much. This paragraph already seems too long. I am not comfortable singing my own Praises, especially for an extended amount of time. I assure you no one has been worried about my Mental Health more than me. I was born and raised in the KoN, so I had both Nurture and Nature against me. I have two Nsibs and I know the Research on Inheriting Pathology. Given these various N conditions that I was born and raised in & exposed to numerous times it is Statistically Impossible for me not to be a N to some degree. Wait for it! Don't get scared off! Praise God for Specializing in the Impossible! I have Great News for those that worry about my Mental Health. I have taken numerous Psychological & Personality Tests and the results consistantly & constantly show over the past 20 years that I have Abnormally Very High Empathy & Sympathy Off the Charts, there are also many other Scientific Indicators that say that I am NOT a N and I am a Normal Imperfect Human Being. I also rate Very High on Introspection and being Self-Aware. I care or have cared for others at a detriment to Self as most Kids born and raised in the KoN. Definately a Giver to a fault. Very hard for me to say No -- much better at it now! When something went wrong in a Relationship, I automatically assumed it was my fault somehow. HUGE desire to Help others. Can't stand to see others suffer in any way, except for Ns and Ps -- they sow what they reap! Given my Childhood History of trying to protect my younger Sibs from harm by placing myself between them and the Momster's attacks and with the Off the Chart Empathy I spent my entire Life up till now trying to Rescue my Sibs from the KoN and the Momster who rules it. I also tried to Save them from their Self-Sabotoging Behavioral Patterns. Trying to Save others (not just my Nsibs) has cost me great emotional, psychological, and financial hardships. No Doubt I use to suffer from a Savior Complex, but I am over that now. Praise the Lord! I know it is not my job to be anyone's Personal Savior, that Job Description has already been filled by Jesus Christ. I have definitely learned to Let Go and Let God help those who do not want my help. I will no longer risk drowning trying to teach others how to Swim who have no desire to Learn.

For those who believe that this Blog was created solely to expose Danu, then you are greatly deceived. Do the math, the great majority of my posts or articles are not about her at all. I am guesstimating that these posts/articles discussing Danu's Dangerous Deception make up less than 10% of my Blog (I haven't done the math). Less than 10% is Statistically Non-Significant (not to be confussed with the Purpose of these few post/articles discussing a Clear & Present Danger being Very Significant & Essential to share w/others). It is a N's pathological perspective that this entire blog or even the majority of it, or goal for it is about this particular N. I know Ns think that they are the Center of Attention, the Center of the Universe, our World and our Life, but they are NOT. There is more than one post or article addressing Danu's Deception & Harmful Attacks because more and more and even more Evidence kept coming forward and that Evidence & Proof was Essential to share with others, so that People can be warned about the Clear & Present Danger Danu presents to others. Sure one person's opinion can be written off as a Personal Disagreement or a Difference of Perspectives, but consider the Totality of ALL the Verifiable and Undeniable Evidence and I am sure that there is much more out there, and only a Person in extreme Denial would ignore what the rest of the World clearly sees. As time goes by more and more People contact me how Danu has misused her power to hurt others. I don't plan on making any more post/articles about this particular N, and I will only update the other posts/articles as I become aware of more Evidence.

For those of you who think I am obsessing over Ns and Ps you are greatly mistaken. The title of this Blog in case you forgot is Freedom from Toxic People, so the majority of my posts/articles on this Blog are going to address this Topic. I assure you that I am involved w/different Projects in my Life that do not involve the discussion of Ns or Ps. During my Recovery from the KoN these past two years my focus has been on dealing w/the NFOO and deciding to go NC w/them, but I have healed from the Pain of the Past, I have accepted What Is, and I value mySelf so I don't waste my Love on those who can not recipocate it. My Family of Choice is growing. I have Spiritual Sisters & Brothers who are AMAZING and more than make up for the void of the Biological Ones. The void of the NFOO is being filled and I am excited and passionate about Life. I have Friends from various backgrounds that enrich my Life. Some share my Faith and some do not, but all have a place in my heart.

For those who have a problem with me writting more than a few paragraphs in one post/article -- well that's your problem. It is your limitation not mine. I know traditionally Blog posts contain a few paragraphs due to some people's limited attention span and/or time. I guess there is a correlation between the length of a Blogger's Post and the PPR (Potential Popularity Rating) -- thing is my priorities don't include being Popular. I am Unpopular and Proud of it! I don't go w/what is Popular, I go with what is Right. I do recognize the Practical reason for limiting the size of my Posts/Articles and I am working on Portion Control. Some Posts/Articles are longer than others and some are shorter. Friends of mine have encouraged me to write a book, so perhaps these longer posts/articles are good practice. I have never thought of being a professional writer, but I have a Passion for Writing that I never knew was in me. My writing does not have to be valuable to everyone, just someone is good enough for me.

For those who have a problem with me being a Christian & speaking in my own voice -- well that's your problem.

Last week my Friend CZ, who has an insightful & enjoyable blog, The Narcissistic Continuum, as well as one of the best Free On-Line Support Groups for those who have N-countered Toxic People, which is called Web of Narcissism or WoN, received a comment from a roving reader she refers to as a robot. I wonder if it was the same one who attacked me this week too? I know there are many of them out there Trolling around on the internet.

CZ shared with us that she is planning to write a very interesting article on the Evolution of the Modern Day Snake Oil Salesperson, to know more Click Here. The PersoN whose comments I will not post because they only offer darkness instead of light personally attacked me with name calling because I dare to hold one of these Charlatans and Snake Oil SalesPersoN accountable and responsible for her actions & lack there of by not refering her client to a trained Professional who is much more qualified to help a Suicidal Client opposed to a Tapping Technician. This persoN did not like my article, Clear & Present Danger, because I held Danu responsible for allowing her own pathology to keep her from recognizing that she was way out of her League when trying to tap away her client's Suicidal Ideations. For those that do not know, I am a Professional Counselor, who is trained, educated and experienced, so it deeply bothers me when I hear about a Toxic Guru, Charlatan, or Snake Oil Salesperson getting away with Murder, as the author of The Secret did in the Arizona Sweat Lodge Tragedy.

There are many problems w/the Snake Oil tech Deception, first and foremost they get away w/Murder. This is not an exaggeration (wish it was), desparate people put their very lives in the hands of these Charletans and it ends up costing them their lives. The Placebo Effect is an extremely dangerous thing, because it creates Co-Dep of the worst kind. It deters & distracts from true Theraputic Healing. We can not put a Band-Aid on a Stab Wound and save the patient. The Band-Aid only covers up the wound, it does not heal it. These Charletans are not qualified to help those who are deeply wounded. These Charletans are not qualifed because they lack the Skills, Knowledge, Experience, Ethics, Empathy, and Conscience that it takes to help those who are suffering. If you have not read my Blog Post on this topic please do so, because there are some HUGE Red Flags which are referred to as Smoking Guns.

The Narcissist in Sheep's Clothing Cover-UP

When a person refers to their clients/members/customers and potential clients/members/customers as "*food*, to be trapped, hunted, or farmed" -- that is an example of someone who clearly does not have the other person's best interest at heart. These Charletans lack both Empathy and Ethics to say the very least. They lack a conscience that tells them they are way out of their League when they try to tap away a Person's Suicidal Ideations. A former EFT Client took her own life, because she relied on the EFT tech and Danu to help her. Kate, the Former and I believe Original Moderator of Danu's DONM Formum talks about that in the Clear and Present Danger to Others article.

Now a Normal Person would shut down their Practice or Business and take some time off if a client took her own life while undergoing treatment, but not a NVamp in Sheep's Clothing, no for him/her it is business as usual, cover-up and keep on deceiving People and N-chanting them out of their money. True Healers, those in the Helping Profession lose sleep over trying to figure out a better way to help their client, but not NVamps, they stay awake trying to figure out how to get more money from their clients, a better way to "trap, hunt, and farm" them.

Have these Charletans even worked at a Suicide Hotline? Do they have a Psychology or Counseling Degree? Have they even taken an Ethics Class? Although you can't really teach Ethics as in something to acquire like Knowledge for a particular set of Skills, you either have Ethics or you don't, you either have Empathy or you don't. By the time a Person is an Adult they either have Empathy, Ethics, and Morals or they don't. Sure a deceptive N can fake these for a short time, but the Truth eventually comes out when the Mask slips.

What are their Credentials other than taking a EFT Weekend Course or watching a EFT YouTube video?

I wish it was only a matter of losing money when relying on these Charletans aka Modern Day Snake Oil Sales People, but it is not, people are losing their very lives when they trust a NVamp in Sheep's Clothing that views them as "*food*, to be trapped, hunted, or farmed" and devoured.
These Charletons don't have a Soul and they don't have the Heart of a Healer. They don't care about helping others, only helping themselves to others $Money$. Their Goal & Agenda is NOT what can I do for my clients, but what my clients can do for me which is provide me with Fame & Fortune. They don't have the heart of a Servant, they have the agenda of a Serpent.

When Danu was confronted about objectifying and dehumanizing her clients/members/customers by referring to them as "*food*, to be trapped, hunted, or farmed" she deflects responsiblity w/a very juvenile response, such as he said it first, blame him not me for this twisted perspective on clients as "food". Danu, like all Ns, never want to be accountable nor responsible for their hurtful behavior towards others. It is always someone else's fault, because Ns lack Empathy and Remorse.

Before you put your Healing in the Hands of others, do your research. Deep wounds caused by evil Ns and Ps can not just be tapped away. Sure the tapping can help to temporally reduce the obsessive thinking long enough to break the focus from the Toxic Person/Abuser and pick up the phone and find a great Therapist. There are no short cuts to healing, only cover-ups which prolong the Healing Process. Deep wounds require deep healing that only a trained & experienced Counselor or Therapist can provide.

To those who are either Disordered or Damage and leave flamming comments this next part pertains to your statements, intention, and agenda.

As I said earlier my Friend CZ was attacked by what she refers to as a "robot" who IMO was Trolling to cause harm, much like those Disordered and Damage People whose comments will not be posted here because their agenda is very clear to me that their intention is to fight & cause harm and not RESPECTFULLY discuss topics. People are free to disagree w/me, but they must do it in a RESPECTFUL way. I will not post any hateful comments that over generalizes, instills anger, resentment, mistrust, kindles hatred, enmity, and incites prejudicial beliefs and actions against innocent People. I am not going to post Hate Speech. Hating innocent people who never hurt you is wrong. Personally attacking someone because they have a different perspective or viewpoint is wrong,

Verbal abuse in any form towards any person or group of people (this includes Christians, Different Believers & Non-Belivers) will not be allowed on my Blog. People can express that they are mad at God or Some Christians or Some Believers, or Some Non-Believers and explain how s/he was hurt by a Toxic Person who happened to fall in a certain group, but I will not let someone post their Hateful Message and Smear Campiagn on my Blog -- there are plenty of Hate Monger's Blogs & Websites that will be more than happy to post your wicked words that only want to hurt others. Don't waste your time or mine trying to post your hateful comments here. Your comments won't be read and they will be immediately deleted, I know that fact won't stop a Stupid N or P from trying, but at least I have shown you respect by giving you fair warning.

The Bible says we will be attacked for who we are and our Faith, to expect it, but we do not have to accept it. We are to pray for our enemies, but we are not to be prey for our enemies.

When my Friend CZ posted this week how someone left her a devaluing comment and was also attacked this week -- well in a weird way it is kinda nice to know that I'm in Very Good Company! If it can happen to her, a Vet Blogger who is very talented w/writing then it can happen to us Toddler Bloggers too. I know I don't need to tell Healthy People this (well sometimes even us Healthy People need to be reminded), but for those who are not in the know, Writting, especially blogging for one's own Personal Blog, is first and foremost for the Self. It is Self-Expression. It is our Freedom as Bloggers to express what is happening along our own Journey.

Our Journey can be shared w/others, but it does not belong to others, it belongs to each one of us. Some walk the same path as we do, but not everyone will have the exact same perception as we do, because their view is slightly different from where they stand and how they move in this world. We were all created with our own unique walk. No two people have the exact same walk in life. It is okay to be different. God loves diversity. Our own Journey can be familiar at times and different at other moments in time. No two people experience the same exact situation the same exact way, we all have our own perception & perspective of reality.

And Ns and Ps well that is an entire different World View, their Underworld vs our Human World.

When we share our Life experiences with others we have certain perceptions, perspectives, viewpoints, feelings, and thoughts. Some People will relate and a few will hate. Those that hate need to get a HEALTHY Life and stop being a Disordered (well that's too much to ask for) or a Damaged Person and stop being envious of the Life we have and they don't. If they took a second to step out of the KoN they created for themselves they would realize we are not blogging to entertain them. We don't need nor want their Toxic Stamp of Approval about our Life or how we express it. Our Life is not a performance or an act like theirs and it is not subject to be evaluated through their pathological lenses. They have No Right to throw rotten tomatoes. Stupid Ns!

People who know me or at least have an accurate sense for who I am know that I don't mind someone RESPECTFULLY disagreeing with me -- in fact, I welcome it! I enjoy considering another's different perspective on Life and even on my Personal Life, because as a Blogger & Forum Member I put a large part of it out there. Respect, like Love, must be recipocated. I do not waste my time on Ns or Ps who are encapable of recipocating basic manners & humanity.

To the Haters who respond w/Flaming Fires of Hell, well all I can say is that I know your type, because I was raised by your type (using type was interesting unintended play on words). CZ & many of us have also N-countered your type. We are use to your Hell Fire and we are pretty much Fire Proof. We have lived, endured, and survived far worst than what you can project at us. We have learned to Rise Up from the Ashes more than once and your hateful & hate-filled words mean nothing, so they can do nothing to us. Those ugly words are filled w/evil intent, Lack Validity & Worth, thus have No Staying Power, so here is some Glue of Truth for your Projected Lies & Hideous, Repulsive, Pathological Persona -- and Yuck Off!

Praise God for those Authentic, Healthy and Kind People who read our Blogs, understand who we are and relate and/or respect what we are saying whether or not they agree with what we have to say or how we say it. We are NOT Performers, we are Authentic People living Authentic Lives, so if our Life does not meet the criteria of the Haters twisted perspectives, then that is fine with us.

Again, your comments do not have to be written in agreement, but they do need to be written w/Respect which means no Flaming Fires from Hell. I am repulsed by pathlogical agendas & intentions, so Ns & Ps who have the desire to do evil and are on my Blog getting ready to send hideous & hateful comments. . . Yuck Off!

Forbidden Fruit or Poisonous Apple

Ever wonder about the Secret & Hidden Identities of Ns. . .

What Lies behind the Mask?

What is the Enchantment or N-chantment all about?

Where does their power to intrige come from?

Where does their appeal come from?

The powerful intoxicating desire for the N, the uNkNowN, or uNmasked Person.

The Allure of the Forbidden Fruit, the Desire for the unAchievable, and the Temptation of the unObtainable, that is The Illusion of the N. It is the Deception of the Possibility. The Dream just out of Reach. It is the Disorientation of living in the What Could be instead of Realizing & Accepting What Is and Can Never Be with the N.

But take a closer look, beyond the Broken Promises, through all the Lies, through the very dense & thick FOG (Fear Obligation Guilt) away from their KoN, break the Mirrors of Projection, and Ns are not what they appear.

They are Not a Forbidden Fruit, but rather a Poisonous Apple that is so Deadly that only one bite contaminates and slowly destroys the Soul, until it leaves its Victim completely Devastated.

They are Not a Hidden, Unique, Exotic, Elusive Treasure that if we only just dig deep enough & long enough their value will be revealed; their Chest is Empty; they are completely void inside, and what they have to offer is just a Counterfeit. Counting on them will leave us Completely Broke.

They are Evil Parasitic Vampires that N-chant, anesthetizing their Victims while they attack and suck out their Victim's Life Source, stealing their Soul, and striping away the Victim's very Identity, until the Victims become completely unrecognizable to themselves & those that love them and the full extent of the crime & injury is not completely realized until the N is no longer around to Deny the Damage.

They are Evil Magicians or Illusionists who use FOG to cloud our vision, the Art of Distraction to deny Accountability & the Skills of Deflection & Transference to escape Responsibility. The greatest trick of all is that they get us to Project our Humanity onto them, so that they achieve a Grand Illusion for their entire Audience.

They are Evil Scientists who yield the power of Intermittent Reinforcement who trap their Victims and keep them addicted like a Gambler to a Slot Machine and when we try to cash in we find that their rewards were Counterfeit. They create a Maze of Lies and Gaslight their Victims to keep them completely Disoriented. Their attacks are extremely shocking and occur when the Victim least expects it, can do nothing to prevent or stop it, so the Victim ends up in a State of Learned Helplessness.

They are Evil Puppet Masters who control every move of the Objects they own. If we do not perform just as they want, and they are never pleased, we are instantaneously replaced, because to them we have no intrinsic value. They are on the constant look out for new Objects/Victims to acquire and posses, because they enjoy creating a new Act with different players. They use the Silent Treatment, so the Victims actually long to be used, because bad attention is better than no attention at all. The Victims are left feeling like a warn out, used & abused Dummy.

The N-chantment is over when we discover that the N's love is not Elusive, but Illusive.

They behave allusively, so we believe they are elusive, when they are really illusive. Their humanity is a Deceptive Illusion.

When the True & Complete Identity of the N is Discovered it is a Hideous Thing. It is in the Stage of Disgust that one is Repulsed, Repelled and Released from the KoN.

Anyone who says that the N is very attractive, alluring or appealing is being Deceived by the Disguise. I highly recommend checking out your local time slots for the TV Show "V" that illustrates this point. Click Here. Ns are Nvamps, but unlike the TV shows and Movies, these Evil Creatures do not transform or change into Loving Human Beings, that is only a Fantasy created by the Grand Illusion of the N. Just because it happens in the Movies does not mean it happens in Real Life. The Fantasy of loving a N will only end in Tragedy.

Click Here, for a great visual & demonstration on how the N's human disquise is extremely deceptive, and Discover what lies beneath the Illusion of Humanity.

Is a Human Being defined by what s/he looks like on the outside or by what is or is not on the inside? Ns look human, so we think they have all the characteristics and traits of humanity. They look humaN, but they are not because they lack their humanity. But again they look like us, so we think they are like us and we project our humanity and good characteristics and traits onto them. We cloak them in our projected humanity. How does this work? Click Here.

Ns are Evil because they lack Empathy, Remorse and enjoy hurting others. Their Human Disguise is extremely deceptive. As they say, looks can be deceiving, and they are with Ns. Ns are beings who lack Humanity, because they do not see People they see Objects to use and abuse.

Let It Go

This post came from Liberty's Blog, Great Blog check it out,

Liberty from Lies.

When I read the first two paragraphs it describes the NFOO and of course applies to every N that I have N-countered. They have not rejected me, I have Released them. I have Let It Go.

LET IT GO FOR 2011
By Bishop T. D. Jakes

There are people who can walk away from you.
And hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk away from you: let them walk.

I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you.
I mean hang up the phone.

When people can walk away from you let them walk.
Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left.
The bible said that, they came out from us that it might be made manifest that they were not for us.
For had they been of us, no doubt they would have continued with us.
[1 John 2:19]

People leave you because they are not joined to you.
And if they are not joined to you, you can't make them stay.
Let them go.

And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person, it just means that their part in the story is over.
And you've got to know when people's part in your story is over so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead.
You've got to know when it's dead.
You've got to know when it's over.
Let me tell you something.
I've got the gift of good-bye.
It's the tenth spiritual gift
I believe in good-bye.
It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have He'll give it to me.

And if it takes too much sweat I don't need it.
Stop begging people to stay.
LET THEM GO!!!

If you are holding on to something that doesn't belong to you and was never intended for your life, then you need to......
LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to past hurts and pains......
LET IT GO!!!

If someone can't treat you right, love you back, and see your worth.....
LET IT GO!!!

If someone has angered you.......
LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge..... .
LET IT GO!!!

If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction... ...
LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or talents ............
LET IT GO!!!

If you have a bad attitude...
LET IT GO!!!

If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better......
LET IT GO!!!

If you're stuck in the past and God is trying to take you to a new level in Him........
LET IT GO!!!

If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship. ......
LET IT GO!!!

If you keep trying to help someone who won't even try to help themselves.. ....
LET IT GO!!!

If you're feeling depressed and stressed .........
LET IT GO!!!

If there is a particular situation that you are so used to handling yourself and God is saying "take your hands off of it," then you need to......
LET IT GO!!!

Let the past be the past.
Forget the former things.
GOD is doing a new thing for 2011!!!
LET IT GO!!!

Get Right or Get Left .. think about it, and then.....
LET IT GO!!!

"The Battle is not yours, it is the Lord's!!!"

(SOURCE: http://www.luke173ministries.org/templates/System/details.asp?id=39548&PID=466838)

God tells us to leave Toxic People -- God says No Contact!

Happy Valentine's Day

I can't think of a better day then to share with you the Great News. . .

God tells us to leave Toxic People -- God says No Contact!

My Narcissistic Sister (Nsis) #1 who D&D (devalued & discarded)  us a year ago, recently called and is now ready to forgive us for hurting her, nothing else, only that she is now ready to give us Forgiveness, I write about it here, Nsis is ready to Forgive me!

Still haven't returned her call, not sure what I want to do, but I did get an AMAZING Message, or a Love Telegram from Heaven about Letting Go of Toxic People that I want to share with you. Toxic People meaning those who have the agenda to do harm to us and those we love, and it was found in the Holy Handbook, I was at our Woman's Bible Study and nobody, but my WoN friends knew about the Nsis's recent call. It was one of those perfect Moments, a Confirmation from our Creator.

I assure everyone that we are not destined to stay in Toxic Relationships. It is not part of God's plan for our life. This is why it is very important for Believers to focus on their Relationship with God not a Religion with a certain Oranization of People. People can fail you and mess up your life, but God will not.

For anyone who feels a tremendous amount of stress and guilt about wanting to leave a Toxic Relationship or have left a Toxic Relationship and you still are not 100% sure you did the Right Thing and others are giving you grief about your decision to Self-Care & Self-Protect from harm and tell you to just "Turn the Other Cheek, Forgive and Forget, 7x70 etc. and that we must just endure harmful relationships -- There is Proof in the Truth that Christ wants us to Separate from Toxic People and this Great News removed my guilt & confirmed that No Contact (NC) is the necessary, right and blessed decision, and recommened by God Himself, Here It Is. That is New Testiment Proof that God says No Contact (NC), but if you are wondering if there is any Old Testiment Proof I have that too!

Just when you think you might be free of a Narcissist (N), s/he boomerangs back, so be prepared for that, and what you would say should that happen.

I have not returned the Nsis #1 phone call and really do not know what to say to her. Our entire relationship has been based on what I can do for her, protecting & defending her from the Momster's attacks (when she was a Child & later as an Adult) and trying to help her out as best I could both emotionally and financially throughout the years. I have clearly been the Giver and she has been the Taker. We have never had a Normal Healthy & Loving Sister type of relationship, not the kind of close relationship that people usually want and continue to nurture over time. I would trust a complete stranger off the street more than I would trust her. I have written before that her level of pathology prevents even a Hallmark Relationship. I really don't know what to do, so right now I am doing nothing, and let me say that doing nothing is actually doing something. It prevents us from doing something that we will eventually regret, like reestablishing a Toxic Relationship.

Personally I have been enjoying NC from her and am disappointed that she made contact much sooner than I would have ever thought she would and right now I have no desire to reestablish contact. I don't trust her, not only for my sake, but most importantly for my little DD's sake who doesn't understand why she hasn't heard from her Aunt & Cousins in over a year.

Then there is that Rescuer in me that says, my Non-N Niece & Newphew, and even the Golden Child need to have Normal People in their life to show them that Life can be different outside of the KoN that they are born and raised in. I wish I had had an Aunt or someone who could stand being around the Momster just long enough to temporally take me away from the KoN and show me a better way of life and show me what Authentic Love was all about.

As I was first preparing to write this post I thought that Nsis #2 the youngest of the two Nsibs was a lower level N compared to the Super-Sized Momster, Demon Dad, and Nsis #1 (mentioned above who once again D&D us), but she has unmasked herself recently by flying across Country to reestablish a relationship with the Demon Dad (a Serial Child Molester who has hurt 4 Children, now that I better understand covert & ambient abuse I have to include myself in as one of his victims), and the Demon Dad recently sent me a letter saying that he has regular contact with both Nsisters and their Children, talks to them on a regular bases and is planning to visit all of them this Summer. Recall Nsis #2 is the one who could not come to the hospital when my DH had a very scary emergency, and betrayed me when my DH begged her repeatedly to come to our house and help me when I was going through a Neverous Breakdown (it was 30 minutes max to the hospital and 45 minutes to our home) yet she said she was heading off to a Conference and had been fasting all week, so she could not change her plans and come be with me and although she is not a therapist, never took a single Psy. or Counseling Class, she denied my perception of reality & told me that I was not having a Neverous Breakdown and I was just stressed out and needed some rest and she would call me later to check up on me.

I in fact did have a Neverous Breakdown, but that was not convenient for her and messed up her plans, so she had to deny my reality to make herself feel good about refusing to help me. My Dear Husband (DH) and I have always changed our plans at the very last minute to support her whenever she asked and other than when my DH was in the hospital we have never asked her to change her plans and do something for us. Our relationship has always been me the Giver and her the Taker and silly us to think that the two times we really needed her, she would return the support & love. For more detail on the Demon Dad's letter, The Crazies get even Crazier, Click Here.

The dilemma is, Do I try to establish and maintain a Hallmark Relationship with the Nsisters for their Children's sake? To give them Hope that life can be different outside of the KoN they were all born into. In order to have a relationship with the Children, who I care about because they are Innocent, I have to have minimal contact w/the Nsisters. Now who does that remind you of? Who in the Bible did not care so much about the Narcissistic Mother (NM), but did want to have a relationship with the Child of the NM? Who in the Bible had to Let Go of a relationship with a Child that he loved, because over time it would not be good for him or his family?

If you said Abraham you would be correct!

It is not my goal to deliver a sermon, just to share with people info. that got rid of the Guilt Trip from others and from myself about Letting Go of Toxic People.

Remember, it is my goal for this blog to not be a preaching place, but a Teaching Place. Therefore, here is your homework assignment. Remember to always pray that God would speak to you through His words each time before you read.

Read Gensis 13: 3-8 and Gen 21: 8-13 BEFORE you listen to me I want you to listen to The Great Spirit, our Helper, Counselor that speaks to us about our own Life and guides us.

Write down what you hear God saying to you about your life and your situation.

What feelings do you have?

When I read this (sentence/s). . . I felt. . . . write down all your emotions, thoughts and insights.

Write down any questions you have.

Did you find any answers?

How are you going to apply this new knowledge to your life?

It's okay if you didn't find any answers this time-remember Life is a Journey.

In our Woman's Bible Study, we talked about how God wants us to let go of Toxic Relationships, to go No Contact (NC) with Toxic People that will cause us harm. There are two types of Relationships God wants us to let go of; The First Type is the Relationship that we really don't want to continue to have with a Toxic Person. This is the relatinship that we really don't want to keep, and would like to give up, if we felt we had a choice. This is the Toxic Relationship we hold on to, even through very minimal or low contact because we feel we are obligated to maintain this Toxic Relationship for one reason or another. This would be the relationship I have with the Momster. I did not want to continue to have a relationship with her, but thought I had no other options.

I never heard of Divorcing a Parent, and then when I did I thought well Good, Kind and Loving Christians don't divorce their parents, not even very Toxic Parents. Others have shared their situations with me about feeling a tremendous amount of guilt divorcing or letting go of a Toxic Spouse, Sibling, Child, Family Relative, or Friend. We Forgive and Forget, or at least keep on enduring, setting and reinforcing boundaries, that the N is just going to blast right through, and spending the rest of our life having a miserable relationship with this Toxic Person.

I so very much wanted to Let Go of this evil person and protect myself and my family from inevitable & imminent harm. Each time I sought counseling I would get the Forgive and Forget recommendation. I never heard of people leaving Toxic Parents in the Bible. One Day out of desperation I cried out, God help me! Must I really continue to suffer being in a Toxic Relationship with the Momster? Is there any Biblical Scriptures that can free me and my family of creation from the never-ending abuse from this evil person who enjoys hurting others? Please God help me, I am your Child and You are my Parent and I know you love me even more than I love my own Child and Your plans for me is to have an Abundant Life, how is this possible when the Momster's intent is to keep hurting me? Lord, help me what am I to do? What would You have me do? The Great & Holy Spirit brought me to Matthew 10:34-39 what I refer to as My Freedom Scripture.

I have been asked if there were any Old Testament Scripture that I have found where God tells us to leave Toxic People? And I am thrilled to share with you

Gensis 13 and Gensis 21: 8-13.

In the New Testament Matthew 10:34-39 Christ tells us to be set against the Toxic Person as in Good is set against Evil. This seems like a relationship that we want to be set free from that we do not want to have anymore, and the Lord says it is okay not to like this person because they are evil and harmful to us, so I want you to separate from them. This is a relationship that is harmful for us, we don't want, and Christ says to us it is okay to Let It Go. I want you to Let It Go, and I am telling you to Let It Go & that you have my blessing to Let It Go, because it is harmful to you. God loves us and does not want others to harm us. God wants us to protect ourselves from harmful Toxic People. God does not want us to be a Target for others to use and abuse. Abuse is NEVER apart of God's plan for us. God does not want us to continue to be a moving target for a N.

No Target = No Abuse = No Hurt & Pain

Now let's look at Abraham's two different situations. The first regarding Lot is a relationship that Abraham most likely would have liked to keep, yet could see how things were not going well between the Feuding Families, and that it would be best for all involved to Separate to stop the fighting before people seriously got hurt or killed by another Family Member.

Genesis 13 Abram and Lot Separate

8 So Abram said to Lot, “Let’s not have any quarreling between you and me, or between your herders and mine, for we are close relatives. ⁹ Is not the whole land before you? Let’s part company. If you go to the left, I’ll go to the right; if you go to the right, I’ll go to the left.”

Abraham (at that time was referred to as Abram) first sought out God to help him with his Family conflict. God said to separate, but not in anger, part in love. Lot is Abram's Nephew and tradition says that the elder is the one to make the decisions, yet Abram did what was right, obeyed God's instructions of separating from Lot. God's vision is far greater than ours and God saw how the esculating family conflict & fighting between Lots Family and Abram's was going to bring harm to Abram and his Family. Abram is like a Father to Lot and Lot is like a Son to Abram. Abram loved Lot, but knew that it was best to listen to God's advice and separate. He gave Lot first choice, Abram was entitled to first choice & should have received more not less than his Nephew Lot, but Abram chose Righteousness over Tradition, and at first glance it did cost him, because Lot selected what appeared to be the better land. Sometimes it will cost a Lot to separate and it might feel extremely unfair that the Toxic Person is getting away with it and is getting way with more than his/her fair share, just like Lot selecting the prime land and leaving Abram with less.

However, God is the Perfect Parent and knows what is coming even when His Children have no idea what is coming our way. You know the story of Lot, he and his family were captured, they had to live in Sodom and Gomorrah, God told Abram that He was going to destroy the city, Abram pleaded to God to spare it if they could find 10 Righteous People (God compromised from 50 to 10), God sent the Angels to the city to find the Righteous, the evil People (murderers & rapists) wanted to harm the Angels, Lot took the Angels in as his Guests, and as Jewish Tradition states swore to protect them at all cost, with his life and the life of his own Daughters and Wife. The Angels blinded the evil people, so that Lot and his family could escape and ordered Lot and his Family not to be caught looking back at the city that was being destroyed. Don't look back at the distruction of the Past and to only look to what is ahead, Lot's wife ignored what God had said, looked back and turned to stone. Great example of what looking back & fixating on a painful past does to us, it literally keeps us stuck in stone not being able to move forward.

The previous example above is the type of Relationship that we can see there is a problem and that things could get worse, and like it or not it the best solution is a separation. We can eventually see that parting ways is essential to keep ourself and others safe and out of harms way. 

Now here is the other type of relationship that God wants us to Let It Go, because it too is also harmful to us, yet we do not see how it is harmful, because things are currently good, or we perceive things to be good, and we want to hold on to it.

Genesis 21 Hagar and Ishmael Sent Away

Fast forward a few years (not sure just how many). Recall that Abraham and Sara are in their 80's, way past the child bearing years, yet God told Abraham that Sara would give birth to a Son. The years pasted and Sara and Abraham thought God forgot about His promise to them. Sara convienced Abraham to have sex with her maid servant Hagar and that Hagar has agreed to bare a Child for Sara and Abraham, that Hagar would give her the Son she gives birth to Sara and Abraham and they alone would be the Child's Parents, thus making Hagar the very first recorded Surrogate. Hagar gave birth to Ishmael and years later an Angel visited Abraham and Sara and told Sara that she was going to have a Son next year. Sara laughed and the Angel said, Is anything impossible for God, Sara said No and the Angel said then you shall have a Son and name him Issac (meaning laughter). Sara did give birth to her Son Issac.

⁸ The child grew and was weaned, and on the day Isaac was weaned Abraham held a great feast. ⁹ But Sarah saw that the son whom Hagar the Egyptian had borne to Abraham was mocking, ¹⁰ and she said to Abraham, “Get rid of that slave woman and her son, for that woman’s son will never share in the inheritance with my son Isaac.”

¹¹ The matter distressed Abraham greatly because it concerned his son. ¹² But God said to him, “Do not be so distressed about the boy and your Wife's servant. Listen to whatever Sarah tells you, because it is through Isaac that your offspring will be reckoned. ¹³ I will make the son of the servant into a nation also, because he is your offspring.”

Abraham gave up on God's promise to him that God would bless him and Sara with a Child and that his decedents would out number the stars. Both Abraham and Sara were Elders and thought God forgot His promise to them, but He did not. (I know how that feels. My DH & I tried for over 12 years to conceive our DD. 144 months of No, but they were really not No -- not ever, they were No -- not now. Now is not the time.). Out of desperation Sara convinces Abraham to sleep with her servant and the servant agrees to be a Surrogate for them. She conceives and gives birth to Ishmael (meaning God hears or God listens). Years later the Angels/Messengers of God tell Abraham that Sara will have a Child and Sara laughs because she is a Elder Woman way past her childbearing years, she has already went through "The Change" says she is "dried up", her monthly cycle has stopped for years. She comes out of the tent to where the Messengers are with her DH and they ask her, Is there anything too impossible for God? Do you want a Child? Do you believe God can give you a Child. She says yes. The Messengers say, Your child shall be called Issac (meaning laughing one or laughter or he who laughs). Hagar, Sara's Servant becomes jealous and envious because now Sara has her Blessing and although Ishmael was born first, he has the rights of a second born because Isaac is the one who God said would be the Sanctified Child born from a Sanctified Relationship of Marriage. Ishmael is the illegitimate child and does not have the same rights as Isaac born from a Sanctified Marriage. Abraham & Hagar's Relationship was for only one purpose and everyone was clear that it was only for Hagar to be a Surrogate for Abraham and Sara and nothing more. The Future Ruling Rights or Leadership go to Isaac not Ishmael. Ishmael's mocking demonstrates a jealousy or envy forming that may not have been obvious to Abraham, but it was to Sara. Although Isaac loved Ishmael and looked up to his big Brother, and most likely would have let Ishmael take the Traditional Rights of the First Born Male to Lead, God's plan is for Isaac to rule not Ishmael. Sara said that Isaac loves his older Brother Ishmael so much that Isaac would hand over his birth right to Ishmael and Sara knew how Hagar envied her being Abraham's Wife and how she would poison her son Ishmael against his own Father, Sara, and his younger Brother Isaac. Sara knew that a war between the two Brothers was going to eventually happen and that it would tear their Family apart and that lives would be lost, especially her beloved Son Isaac. Due to Hagar planting seeds of envy and hatred in her Son Ishmael against his Father & Brother and the rest of their Family and imminint war between the two Brothers and their families was going to occur. Because of their advanced ages Sara knew that she and Abraham most likely would no longer be alive when the war would take place and they would not be alive to do their very best to prevent this imminint war between the two Brothers.
Sara pleaded with Abraham to speak to God on what to do and God told Abraham to listen to his Wife and his Wife said that Hagar and Ishmael must be sent away to prevent war & bloodshed. God promised Abraham that He would take care of Hagar & Ishmael and years earlier when Hagar was pregnant with Ishmael God promised Hagar that He would also make a great Nation from her Son. Abraham deeply loved his son Ishmael and did not want to let go of his son, he also respected and cared for Hagar for being the Mother of his Child, and did not want any harm to fall upon her. God said to let go of these relationships Forever, so much so that after Ishmael and Hagar left the Family never to have contact with Abraham or his Family members ever again, Abraham said he only had one Son Isaac. Both Hagar and his son Ishmael were considered dead to Abraham, or more accurately like they never existed and Abraham never knew them. Hagar & Ishmael had to continue their lives completely separate from Abraham, as if they are not related and are as Complete Strangers with no connection to one another, living completely separate lives far away from one another, never to see each other ever again. God did take care of Hagar and Ishmael and kept His promise by making an entire New Nation through Ishmael's decendants.
The message is even when there are relationships that we don't want to give up, that we want to hold onto, that we think are perfectly okay to maintain, God will ask us to give them up, because He knows what is best. He knows these relationships will eventually cause us great harm and are not in our best interest to keep. Even when we do not see just how these relationships can be so harmful to us, God knows the future and He knows what will happen with these People He wants us to Let Go.
For me these are the toughest relationships to give up, the ones we want so desperately to keep and try to make right, but God knows they are doomed to fail even when we do not. I can see how Hagar can poison Ishmael against Abraham and his Brother Issac just as I can see it happening that Nsis #1 did poison her Children's' minds against us each time she D&Ds us. I have seen her tell her Children how terrible the Momster is (which is true) then go and continue to use the Momster and say that she is a good person when she needs something from the Momster sending confusing and mixed messages to her Children along with it is okay to Trash Talk Someone, then treat them nice in order to use them. When we refuse to do everything Nsis#1 wants she will further poison her Children against us by saying that we do not love them or care about them and how she & her NH can not stand us. Letting Go of the Children is very hard for me, because they are innocent.
I am extremely conflicted. God told Abraham not to worry about his own Child Ishmael and that He would look after him and bless him. And God watched over me in the KoN and healed me from the damages of the KoN and I need to trust in God to do the same with these Children. Please keep me in prayer that God would give me discernment regarding the severing of the relationships with the Children (I am not quite sure about that -- God did tell Abraham to listen to his Spouse and do what she says, so I will talk it over with my DH, ask him to Seek God and let me know what God says to him). I understand & have accepted that the relationship with the Nsis#1 can never be what I would want or hope it could be due to her pathological limitations. I will no longer be deceived by expecting more than what is possible from her, which is barely a Hallmark Relationship.
Since I started working on this post I received the Letter from the Demon Dad and that confirmed to me that it is time for Letting Go of both Nsisters, which also means not having a relationship with their Children, my Nieces & Nephews. It is an extremly difficult, sad, and painful thing to do, but I know without doubt that it is the right thing to do and what is best for my little family of creation due to all of the Ns & Ps in the KoN that will attack us for not being like them.
Now if anyone tries to Guilt Trip you into leaving the KoN, you can give them both Old & New Testiment Scripture that proves God tells us to leave Toxic People and God says NC! I pray that this information will Bless you, if it has, please Share it Forward w/those who also struggle w/leaving the KoN.
For those who are interested I will be tackling probably the greatest Guilt Trip of them all in regards to Letting Go of Toxic People, Forgive them Father for they know not what they do. And Forgive others like Christ has forgiven us. You might be interested in what I have to say about others Messing Up the Message.
Peace does not always come from doing what is right, but rather in the knowing what is right. It is not always easy doing what is right and what is best.


May God give you Wisdom, Discernment, Confirmation, and Peace about the Relationship/s that you are unsure of and have reached the time for Letting Go, and may you in the right time allow God to comfort you through this transition by bringing Authentically Loving People in your Life to feel the void left by the ones you are Letting Go.